Love.
The small four letter word that controlls us all.
Why?
When that day comes when we all start to feel concern for someone's wellbeing, even when, no, especially when their being an idiot, what do we do?
Do we hide, run away and hope to God that this feeling goes away? Or does this only intensify those feelings, so do you have to accept that you love someone and hope for the best? Even when this person causes you unimaginable pain? Even when this person is dingle handedly responsible for not only destroying you and your ability to think, but also did it to your sister? And abused this power, resulting in your sister becoming everything they swore that they would never be?
Love shouldn't be like this, love should bring overwhelming joy and satisfaction to your life, filling a part of you that you had heard, but never looked at out of fear. The person should make you want to confront this fear, make you stronger, and be there during your fight. Love should not bring out all these questions, should not create a bigger, unavoidable hole inside your soul that hurts to touch.
At least that what's I thought. But unfortunatley, life had to give a smack upside the head, and remind me that I in fact have abosloutely no control over what goes on in my life. And there is no saying any different. Something that I had to learn to live with. Oh joy.
So after Jacob Black confused the hell out of my mother Bella, MARRIED my twin sis Renesmee, had a baby with her, and then preceeded to dump her when he 'couldn't handle it', life (I don't believe in fate, funny eh, when all of my kind (sort of) have a soulmate) decided that I would fall madly, deeply, and inexplainably in love with him.
Problem is, I'm yet to tell him, but I think that my dad knows. It's the only way to expalin why he's acting like I'm no longer a part of the family. I think that if it were not for the fact dad can't bear to be in the same room as Jacob, dad would have told him by now.
So that's basically why I've bought this journal. So that when I'm old and have children of m own, I can give them this to help explain why it is tht people fall in love as I record the events of my life as I fall in love for the first time. If I can't give them much, at least I can give them a helping hand through the most panful aspect of life.
That's a very poetic and deep reason, if I don't say so myself.