The Incurable
Chapter One
The precinct was quiet. Detectives Stabler, and Benson worked across from each other; their heads down, and pens writing. Detectives Munch and Fin did the same at a desk on the other side of the room. It was like a line beginning from the entrance that separated the room in half. And right down the middle at the other end was Captain Cragen's office; he worked with the door shut, not a surprising habit.
A woman entered quietly. Usually the click of her heels alerted the room of her presence, but her tennis shoes were silent. She gazed at the room for a moment, it had been so long. The horrible smell was wonderful, the horrible decoration was wonderful, the precinct was missed dearly but the detectives were missed more.
She stepped up beside Olivia quietly and looked down at her work. It took a moment for Olivia to realize someone was hovering over her. She noticed a brown t-shirt at eye level and followed the shirt up until she was looking at Alex. She slowly stood, but her eyes didn't move. It was like seeing a ghost… again. She came, she left, she came back, she left again, and now she was back. Neither of them could speak, it was a wordless moment of reunion.
Elliot glanced up and then double looked. "Alex!" he pronounced. Olivia took an appropriate step away and the other detectives came to greet her.
After the small-talk broke away, Olivia interjected, "Why are you here? I mean, what happened?"
"About a month ago, " she stared intensely at Olivia, "My protective agent called me and said they had a lead. The FBI got on his trail and chased that bastard into a warehouse. He shot two agents before they killed him. Everyone survived in the end; it was an all around success. He never would have talked. I attended his burial, from afar in an unmarked FBI van. It was a set up. They detained everyone present."
"They can do that?" Fin asked. Alex turned to Munch with a smile, "You want to enlighten him or should I?"
"Oh, man" Fin sighed, "don't tell me he was right about all that crap."
"You're right," she smiled, "maybe not all of it." Everyone laughed, but not Olivia.
"Let us take you out to lunch," Elliot smiled. "I'd like that." Everyone went to grab their coats and wallets, Olivia added in, "I can't go. I have some urgent work. Have a good time," she glared at Alex. Alex nodded and then walked out of the room. Fin and Munch chased after her. Elliot was about to leave but walked back to Olivia standing there still. He glanced around and then slipped his lips onto hers. She let him kiss her but she didn't kiss back. He pulled away with a frown and then left quickly.
Cragen's door swung open, "did they go to lunch already?"
"You can catch them."
He nods and runs out, unintentionally slamming the precinct door behind him.
She lets out a long deep breath and sits at her desk. She prays she won't but she does. A flood of emotions and worries transform into tears that run quickly down her cheeks.
The precinct door flies open, "I forgot my wallet," Munch announces, not looking at her like she's getting changed. He hears the sound of her trying not to cry and approaches her.
"Olivia, what's going on?"
"Nothing," she whispers between breathes.
"Listen, I'm going to tell them I got a phone call I have to take. Then we can go to the roof and talk about this, ok?" She nods.
"Ok good. Meet me up on the roof. I'll be there in a minute."
"Just don't tell them, about this."
"I promise I wont."
She climbs into the elevator while he climbs into the one across. She goes up and he goes down.
She figured she would reach the roof quicker than he would reach the group below and she was right.
She leans on the cement railing and spots the group below. Cragen, Fin, Elliot, Alex and Munch who waves goodbye. They all head toward the street. Cragen, Fin and Elliot lead unknowingly fighting for dominance. Olivia watches Alex who stops before the street and looks around her on the sidewalk. The boys cross without her, unaware still. She turns around slowly and lifts her head until Olivia realizes she knows she's up there. She moves away just before Alex could have seen. She doesn't look over the railing again.
She rests on the ground, her back against another strange wall that seems to have no use in the construction of the building. She notices the infamous sealed pack of smokes- hidden for those who need a break and that which must be replaced by who ever uses it. She grabs the lighter beside it and decides in that moment that she is destined to be a smoker. She unseals it and lights one up. After a few coughs, she gets the hang of it- just like in jr. high.
Munch appears and sits beside her on the ground, "You know I'll need your help getting up."
She smiles.
"It smells like… are you smoking?"
She nods.
"It's your choice."
"Thank you."
"Tell me what's going on."
"I could loose my job, and you could get in some trouble if they found out you know."
"I'm not afraid of them."
She takes in a deep breath again, this time with the smoke.
"I was seeing someone I shouldn't have been seeing…"
"Oh! We're finally going to talk about this." She knew what he was thinking, he was assuming she meant Elliot… John would be the only one to know, but that was ok. She needed to talk to someone about it.
"So we were seeing each other, often, and we fought one night. The next night it was over. Not because we fought, but because we were separated. They took her away." She bowed her head in shame; her heart beat in anticipation while her words sunk into his brain.
"She?"
Olivia nods. "I was there for her when they tried to kill her. I would have taken a bullet for her but I messed up. She was shot and she died. It was horrible," she fights tears, "and then I find out she's not dead. She's only dead to the world. I can't be with her, I don't have the time to apologize… I can either act likes she's dead or work on her case secretly. So that's what I did. I couldn't let her go… and then at some point something happened."
"What?" Munch asked intrigued and shocked.
"My feelings started to grow and I found myself getting excited every time Elliot was around. He was married. Alex was gone. I couldn't take it. I couldn't stand loving people who didn't love me back…"
"What did you do?"
"I invited Elliot over to my apartment. We drank wine, flirted. I told him I needed to change my clothes. I didn't think he'd stick around. I swore he wouldn't be there by the time I finished my change. I stripped down to black lingerie… he had no chance at that point. We had really intense, powerful, painfully great sex."
"Wow."
"That developed into a daily thing."
"Daily?"
"For awhile. For a long time now it's every few days. Some times more. Its fun and it feels good. Can you blame me?"
"No."
"But now that Alex is back…"
"You don't know what to do."
"I don't have a clue. I love Elliot but I loved Alex first."
"First and second have nothing to do with it. You have to figure out who makes you happier. Not just in the bedroom. Who comes to mind?"
"Both," she pauses, "with Elliot I feel like a woman, in charge, beautiful, safe… with Alex I feel like a little kid infatuated, ready to beckon to her call, and protective. I love them both equally."
"Well don't jump to a decision. Take your time, and tell them both you need some space."
She nods, "You're right."
CUT TO:
The next day…
Olivia brushes of her top, and then knocks on a door that has a paper taped to it which reads 'Alex Cabot'.
"Come in!" her voice calls. Olivia's heart beats loudly as she opens the door and steps in. Alex is bent over picking up a spill of jelly beans. Olivia tries not laugh; Alex as secretly clumsy as always.
"You can just set the papers in that corner over there."
Olivia doesn't speak; she just locks the door and turns back with a soft and hungry smile. Alex turns around and stands with a frown, "Olivia. I didn't know it was you."
Olivia nods in a 'hello' and steps closer and closer to her. Alex watches carefully, she could never tell what Olivia was up to with that look. Olivia stops so close that Alex can feel her breath. Olivia crouches down and Alex closes her eyes waiting for her to maker her move. Instead she hears beans being tossed into an empty coffee can. She crouches down quickly beside her.
"Thanks for helping," she says. Olivia nods.
"This office is brand new. I just vacuumed, I don't see why these can't be eaten. I do have another bag of them in my desk drawer though, maybe I should just throw these ones out." Olivia takes the coffee can from her once all the beans are placed inside and she moves to the window. She opens it and holds out the coffee can.
"Olivia, no. Someone could get hurt with that," Alex says matter of fact-ly. Olivia smiles, glances out the window and then turns the can on its side. Jelly beans rain on the sidewalk below. She tosses the can into the trash. Alex tries not to smile. Olivia approaches her again. She walks up behind her, places her finger tips at her hips and presses herself against her. Alex gets a tingle inside her; she missed Olivia's scent more than anything, almost. Olivia trails her nose up Alex's neck softly smelling. Alex grabs onto the desk, her knuckles turning white- it'd been so long. Olivia notices and releases her momentarily. She rests one hand on Alex's neck and with the other one she turns her to be face to face. Alex slips onto the desk and pushes Olivia's hands off of her. She looks around- the blinds are good enough cover. She unbuttons her top slowly and reveals a line of visible skin from neck to belt buckle. Olivia stares. She meets eyes with her finally.
"Come here," Alex whispers. Olivia is hesitant, "it's been so long." Alex lifts an eye brow- they were on the same wave length as usual- she smiles again. She holds out her hand and Olivia takes it. She pulls her close, so close that Olivia's thighs are pressed firmly against the desk. Alex unbuttons her top partway and slips her hand inside, "I'll remind you," she whispers. Olivia closes her eyes, her head as hot as a pepper. Alex slides her hand up her chest and onto her neck and pulls Olivia softly toward her. Olivia places her hands on either side of Alex on the desk for support as they kiss. Olivia pulls away slightly, "I think I remember a little something more," she teases. She slides one of hands up her thigh.
CUT TO:
Precinct roof top, later that day…
Olivia smokes a cigarette. Munch enters coolly.
"Thought I'd find you here," he startles her, "so, what happened? Did you tell her you needed space?"
Olivia takes a deep drag, "yes."
Munch smiles and nods, "you've got lipstick on your neck." He walks away. She quickly wipes her neck down.
CUT TO:
Later that day, Locker room…
Olivia undresses, her mind a million miles away. She notices a slight bite mark on her chest but can't remember who left it. She stands there in her bra and jeans staring at herself in the mirror. She glances up and see's Elliot's reflection from a far. She jumps. He walks over to her and stands beside her. He pulls off his shirt, "now were even."
They stare at themselves in the mirror, "we look pretty good in front of a mirror." She turns to him and looks into his clear blue eyes. She sighs.
"Can you just hug me?" she asks. He does lovingly. His rough hands stroke her back and she can't help it. She wants to have this moment but she can't. She runs her nose up his neck and touches her lips to his ear.
"Do I have to undo my bra myself?"
His hands slide up her back and unclip her bra. He helps her out of it but she wont let go of their hug. He slips his hand between their bodies and feels her. She lets out a soft grunt into his ear.
"Go ahead, but like this," she whispers. He undoes her pants with one hand, and then undoes his own with one hand.
"You're very talented," she whispers, she always enjoyed playing with his ego. She knew how to get the best out of him. He knew the harder the better with her. He needed support though, especially since he knew she'd started demanding it harder. They began to back up until Olivia slammed into the cold locker. She bit onto his shoulder tightly and he grimaced from the pain but pushed harder inside her. The cold locker woke her up and the pain made her feel alive. She released her teeth from his flesh, blood at the corners of her mouth. She whispered one last thing she knew would keep him going for awhile, "fuck me like you'd kill a rapist."
CUT TO:
Olivia's apartment, later that night…
She enters with a slight limp. She falls onto the couch and turns on the tube. She's sore and tired, and falls asleep quickly.
CUT TO:
The next day: Saturday….
Olivia turns over and falls on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. She yawns and sits up slowly, and lets out a deep breath for a long yesterday and a new today. The clock reads 4 p.m., and the voice machine button flashes. She clicks rewind and play.
Alex: Hey Olivia, I've been thinking about you. Yesterday was… great. I miss you, and I think we should talk. Actually talk. Not like we use to when you'd mumbled things while you—
Beep. Beep.
Alex: Sorry about that. I accidently pressed a button on my phone. Anyway, give me a call Liv babe.
Beep. Beep.
Elliot: Hey Liv, its Elliot. Didn't know if you wanted to go out tonight? Wherever you want. Let me know babe.
Beep. End of messages.
She climbed back onto the couch to hide from the world.
TBC