Author: Lucy Mars
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
Couple: Lex and Chloe [duh!]
Enjoy. ;]
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He wanted to die. He wanted to crawl into a hole that was dark and devoid of all emotion. A place where he could sleep forever and be alone. All he wanted was to be alone. Couldn't they just grant him one wish?
"Go away." Lex snapped, trying to drown out the bothersome voices. How did they get in? When did they get in? God, he just wanted to be alone.
"Lex." Lana sighed, coming around to his side, "You need to come."
"I'm not going," Lex practically growled, stalking away from Lana and her big compassionate eyes. "Go away." He was alone now. He might as well get use to it. He just wanted to be alone. That was all. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?
"You need to say goodbye." Lana pointed out gently.
"I don't want to," Lex said squinting against the offensive sunlight. When did she open the blinds? He just wanted to sit in the dark and drink. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?
"Lex," Clark implored.
"Just leave me alone." Lexes pleaded pouring himself a stiff drink and turning his back to his two friends, "Just go away."
"Lex," Clark sighed moving away from the door and coming around to Lana's side. "You need this closure. Come say goodbye."
"Why?" he asked bitterly, still not facing the two.
"Because you need to do this."
"No." Lex said with a stubborn shake of his head.
"Lex." Lana begged. "Please."
"She left me." Lex said harshly, turning around and looking up at Lana's red eyes. "She left me."
"Lex..." Clark sighed sadly, as he looked at his friend's worn and tired face. "Chloe loved you. You know that."
"Not enough to stay." Lex said his tears choking him. "Not enough."
Watching Lex fight to keep control of his emotions, Clark closed the distance between the two of them and gently rubbed Lex's trembling shoulders. "She loved you more than life."
"No she didn't." Lex snapped, pulling away from Clark, "She left me."
Blinking away her own tears, Lana gently laid her hand on Lex's trembling arm. "Lex, please come."
"No." Lex said shaking his head. "I can't. I won't."
Sharing a melancholy look with Lana, Clark rose with a resigned shake of his head. "You're making a big mistake."
"I made the mistake when I fell in love with her." Lex whispered watching Clark lead a reluctant Lana out of his study.
`~`~`~`~`
His tired eyes took in the sea of people that had gathered to say goodbye to a wonderful woman. A woman who was loved and adored. Sighing, Clark put on his best face as he shook hands and made excuses for his missing friend. Of course they all understood. Every damn person was understanding. Feeling the entire situation catch up with him, Clark walked until he found a deserted corner. Just a few minutes to himself and he would be okay. It was just catching up with him, that's all. Sitting down heavily and starring out at the dark and cloudy day, he didn't even notice her slide up beside him.
"You look like shit."
Feeling a smile tug at his tired face, Clark nodded slowly. "I probably do."
"You should take better care of yourself."
"I take very good care of myself." Clark shot back feeling his smile grow wider.
Snorting, Chloe leaned back against the stiff couch.
"That wasn't very ladylike." Clark said smiling at Chloe.
Rolling her eyes, Chloe raised an amused eyebrow. "And when exactly have you known me to be ladylike?"
"Good point." Clark laughed feeling the tension of the past few weeks melt away.
"So, this is some party." Chloe said dryly.
"Chloe." Clark sighed.
"No I mean it." Chloe said smiling sadly, "I'm glad that you did this for me."
"Lana and I wanted to do this for you." Clark said seriously. "You know, one last thing."
Titling her head to the side, Chloe nodded in understanding. "I know. Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."
Blushing slightly, Clark nodded. "We just wanted to give you a proper goodbye party."
Laughing, Chloe nodded. "Well, besides from the fact that everyone's walking around like someone just died, this is a rocking party."
"Chloe." Clark said his voice cracking. Feeling tears sting at his eyes, he looked down.
"I'm sorry." Chloe said softly touching his arm. "I am. Bad joke. Sorry."
"It's okay." Clark said shaking his head. "It's fine."
Kissing him lightly on the temple, Chloe smiled through her own tears. "Goodbye Clark."
Squeezing her cold hands, Clark nodded in understanding. "Goodbye Chloe."
"Thank you for doing this." Chloe said seriously. "You and Lana have given me a chance to say goodbye to everyone." "
"Thank you for being my friend, and for loving Lex." Clark replied watching Chloe's tears overflow and streak her already pale face.
"Take care of him?" Chloe whispered.
"Always." Clark promised.
"Clark?"
Spinning around, Clark mustered up a smiled for his mom he hastily wiped away his tears. "Yeah, mom?"
Studying her son with a soft expression, Martha sat down beside her son. "Who are you talking too?"
Turning around to where Chloe had been, Clark wasn't surprised to find her gone. "No one," he replied shaking his head, "No one."
"Okay," Martha said gently patting her son's hand, "Do you want to say a few words?"
"Yeah," Clark nodded getting up, "I do." He had a lot to say. He loved Chloe and he always would. "I've actually got a lot to say."
`~`~`~`~`
Quickly splashing cold water onto her face, Lana rinsed out her mouth as best as she could.
"Here."
Looking up in surprise, Lana took the towel from Chloe. "Thanks."
"No problem." Chloe said leaning against the marble counter. "Are you okay?" "
"I'm fine." Lana said hastily as she felt her face heat up.
"I think that you are lying." Chloe said playfully.
"I didn't want to say anything," Lana said hesitating, "but..."
"You're pregnant?" Chloe offered filling in her blank. "Am I right?"
"Yes."
"How far?" Chloe asked looking at Lana's stomach with an expression of longing and excitement. "Does Whitney know?"
"Three months." Lana said unconsciously rubbing her flat stomach. "Whitney knows. I didn't want to say anything Chloe. You understand...right? I mean with everything that was happening and everything that happened, it never felt like the right time to break the news..."
"It's okay, Lana." Chloe said reaching out and pulling Lana in for a hug. "I understand. It's okay." Who would have though, five years ago, that the two of them would be such good friends? Chloe would have laughed if anyone had told her that. But the truth was, she and Lana had become good friends. It wouldn't be stretching it too much if she said best friends.
"I'm going to miss you." Lana whispered feeling fresh tears being to build.
"I'm going to miss you too."
"Whitney and I decided that if the baby is a girl, we're going to name her Chloe."
Looking up at Lana in surprise, Chloe shook her head in amazement. "Are you serious?"
"Yes." Lana laughed.
"You're just trying to make me cry, aren't you?"
"Yes, you've deciphered my evil plan."
Laughing, Chloe nodded. "So not only do you steal my thunder at my goodbye party, but you try to make me cry?"
Biting down on her trembling lip, Lana shook her head. "What am I going to do without you?"
"You have Whitney to love you, a new little addition to your family, Nell to fuss over you and Clark to play the role of obsessive uncle. It's a wacky family tree you've got."
"And Lex." Lana added smiling sadly, "He's a good friend."
"One day Lex is going to make one lucky woman very happy." Chloe grinned as tears fell from her wide eyes. "He'd be an excellent father."
"He would." Lana agreed. "He didn't come today."
"I didn't expect him too."
"He's heartbroken." Lana said gently touching Chloe's pale face.
"Lex always lands on his feet."
"Because you were always there."
Looking up at Lana, Chloe smiled sadly. "One day he will fall in love again. Take care of him?"
"I will."
"Goodbye Lana."
Nodding blindly through her tears, Lana managed to choke out the words that she'd been dreading all day. "Goodbye Chloe."
`~`~`~`~`
"So instead of coming to my goodbye party, you decided to sit in our room alone and brood?"
"Go away." Lex snapped looking out at the dark skyline.
"Nope, sorry. I'm just as stubborn as you are. Five years and you rubbed off of me."
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to say goodbye."
"Why bother?" Lex asked abruptly, turning around to face Chloe. "You left me. Why bother coming to say goodbye?"
"Because closure is a good thing." Chloe shot back.
"Just go away." Lex said feeling his anger drain out of him and leave him with nothing more than hopelessness. "Just leave me. You're good at doing that."
"Will you get your head out of your ass for two seconds?"
"What right do you have coming back here?" Lex demanded standing up and advancing on Chloe. "You left me and now you're back demanding closure? Who the hell do you think you are?"
"A woman who loves you." Chloe whispered reaching out and touching Lex's flushed face. "Oh Alexander..."
"Don't call me that." Lex said pulling away and pacing. "Don't."
"I just want to say goodbye." Chloe sighed rubbing her cold arms. "That's all. You can listen or not."
"I choose not." Lex said bitterly.
"Me leaving had nothing to do with you, Lex. You know that."
"If you really loved me, you would have fought harder."
"I did fight Lex." Chloe said sitting down and watching him pace. "You know I did."
"What happened to forever?" Lex demanded holding out his ring and the engraved words, "Did you forget our vows?"
"Life has a funny way of dictating forever." Chloe whispered looking down at her own ring.
Feeling his emotions build up beyond control and his anger disappear, Lex wrapped his trembling arms around Chloe. "I don't want you to leave me."
"I'll never leave you Lex." Chloe promised leaning against his strong chest and laying her hand over his heart. "I'll always be right here. You carry a piece of my heart and I carry a piece of yours."
His eyes flooding with hot tears, Lex tried to pull Chloe tighter against him. "Don't go."
"You can't run away from the sun." Chloe said looking out at the slowly brightening horizon.
"We could try."
Watching the sunlight creep closer to them, Chloe shook her head. "Be happy Lex."
"Not without you." Lex said stubbornly.
"You'll fall in love again."
"Only you." Lex said his voice breaking.
"Your heart will mend and grow." Chloe whispered, "You'll find it again."
Holding Chloe tightly against him, Lex felt her salty tears fall on his cheek and blend with his own tears. "I love you."
"I love you too." Chloe whispered kissing him softly. "Goodbye Lex."
`~`~`~`~`
Holding the large bouquet with extra care, Lex slowly made his way through the manicured lawns and winding paths. Walking slowly, he stopped when he got to his destination. Taking a deep breath, Lex kneeled in front of the headstone and dusted off the snow that had settled on it. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Lex traced the words that were engraved for the world to see. Chloe Sullivan-Luthor. Beloved wife, daughter and friend.
"I don't know how I'm going to live without you," Lex whispered, closing his eyes. "You were the light in my life. You taught me how to laugh again, how to love again and how to live again. What am I going to do without you? I've lost every single person that I've loved. You were third and only woman I'll ever love. I can't do it anymore Chloe. I don't know if I have the room or the strength in my heart.
You were the good in my life. You were the light that guided me out of the darkness. I don't know if I can do it without you. I don't know if I can continue to be strong and good, with you gone.
You drowned out the evil in me, Chloe. Your love shouted down the bad in me. Your smile quelled the anger in me. Your laughter dissolved the fury in my blood. Your touch reminded me that I was human, that I was capable of everything. You made me believe that I deserved it all Chloe. You let me know time and time again that I deserved the love, the happiness and the friendship that you gave me, as much as the love, happiness and friendship I gave you.
I will always cherish the five years you gave me. You will always be my wife. Nothing will ever change that. I'm going to try, Chloe. I'm going to try and remember all the things that you taught me. But it's going to be hard. You won't be here to remind me that I am more than my demons. You won't be here to suppress my fears. I don't want to be my father, Chloe, but I see it.
During the anger and rage, I saw him in me. That scared me. I want to be a better man for you. I want to be it all, but I hate the world. The people I love have all been taken from me, my mother, a woman who loved me like a son, and my wife. I don't know how to live anymore. I don't know if I can. But I will, because I promised you I would. I love you Chloe, I always will."
Putting the flowers down, Lex looked up at the glittering sky. "Goodbye Chloe."
THE END.
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Did you like? Tell me! Tell me! *ahem* And you know, I just may feel compelled and inspired enough to write the prequel ideas floating around in my head. ;]
-Lucy