Does he have any idea how he makes me feel? So unloved. So alone. When he's with her, I feel so shitty and unimportant. When he kisses her, I feel like it should be me instead. Every promise we've made has been broken. Not by me, but by him. That boy who haunts my dreams. That boy who invades my mind 24/7. The boy who left me to find real love. I just wish he would realize the love he's been looking for has been with him his whole life. It's here, writing. Here, wishing things could go back to the way they used to be. Wishing to be loved again. Wishing to be in those arms. Wishing to go back. To go back and change the way I acted. Maybe if I hadn't gotten mad everytime we couldn't talk, things would still be the same. Maybe if I had been more sympathetic and understanding, things would still be the same. Maybe if I hadn't been too shy to kiss him, things would still be the same. Or maybe he was right. Maybe we aren't meant to be. But if we aren't, why does this hurt so much? I can barely take the pain. It's become so horrible, I've been more than ready to take my own life numerous times. I've cried so many time everyday that I've lost count. I hope you're reading this. I hope you know how you're making me feel. I hope you get the message. I hope you're happy. I hope. Hope. Hope is a cruel thing, isn't it? It can be so easily brought up, only to be pushed back down. Hope must hate me, for I have little. Little hope that you will someday love me again. Do you hate me? You say you don't, but I'm not buying it. What really hurts, is the fact that you think I hate you. I could never hate you. Never. Who in the world could hate those beautiful blue eyes? That chocolate colored hair, tanned skin, and wonderful personality. Perfect inside and out. I wish I could be like you. You're beautiful in both looks and personality. I'm a mess. A hopeless, depressed mess. You have every right to not love me. But still...I wish you did. I know I love you with my entire being. There's nothing I wouldn't do to please you. I'd go to the ends of the earth for you. Tell me, and consider it done. Would she die for you? Would she do absolutely anything for you? Who knows. Would I die for you? Would I do absolutely anything for you? Yes. I think about you all the time. I wonder what happened to make you break my heart so visciously. I try to imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't met you. It's to horrible to picture, though. You are my life, my soul, my heart, my love. My everything. I wish I could be the same to you.
Wishing wishes came true.
-Riku-