Jack and Carly were having a big fight in his apartment over her eating his last pork ramen but really it wasn't even about the ramen. Just in general he was tired of the way she treats him like a child. How he should dress, what he should eat, how he shouldn't drink or smoke... he leaves mid way in the argument slamming the door and gets on his motorcycle. As he rides he lights a cigarette and when done flicks it off which sets off a Kaibacorp police cam noticing the litering and potential fire hazard (on Earth day no less!) and soon sees a police scooter following behind him. Jack rolls his eyes and pretends not to see him.

"Pull over!"

"I can't hear you!"

"PULLL OVEEERRRRR"

"Still can't hear you. My motorcycle is just too cool and loud."

"PULL...wait if he can't hear me what makes him think I can hear him? I think I'm being bamboozled! The cop speeds up cutting him off infront of Jack forcing him to stop or crash right into him."

Jack stops but doesn't get off the bike glaring at the cop menacingly.

"You're a real smart ass you know that? Lemme see your ID Blondie..."

Jack pulls out a card from his shirt and hands it to the officer.

"This is a business card..."

"It's all you need to know about me. Im pretty famous you know."

"Not famous enough to not get a fat ticket and spend a night in jail if you're gonna be a cunt about it."

"You cant jail me. I know my rights! I challenge you to a duel!"

"A duel to escape the strongarm of the law? Wouldn't that create an imbalance of power for those who cannot afford rare if any cards and the law would only apply to the lower class?"

"That's democracy! WOW...are you some kinda Russian troll who does not believe in the core values of our American forefathers?!"

"I thought we were Japanese? You know what fuck it... a duel it is."

Life points go to 8000 and the officer has the authority to demand Jack go first. Jack takes a card from his hand.

"I summon Chain Resonator!"

The little goblin looking thing has a big chain wrapped around it and only 700atk.

"I lay down two cards in spell and trap and end my turn."

"Huh... you're a washed up hack if you think trap cards are viable. I don't even need to see what I draw. I discard it just to activate twin twister!"

Two colorful tornadoes take his traps swirling them around into his graveyard.

"They don't hire educated people on the force... One of those traps was Golden Sercophagus. When it is destroyed by a card effect you gotta discard a card at random from your hand. You just took a net loss of -1 in card ratio."

The officer tsks.

"Yeah so what? I'll just run right over your stupid Chain Resonator with this police roid!" He normal summons Police roid. 1700atk EARTH lvl 4 machine. But that triggers Chain Resonator which when a monster is summoned, Chain Resonator can switch to defense and like shadow spell prevent his monster from attacking and making it lose 700atk dropping it to 1000. Chain Resonator cackles and lassos the police roid in its big dark chain.

"You're wasting both our time here...I end my turn."

Jack draws a card dramatically and looks at it.

"I activate Synchro Wing. It's a spell card that turns your monster into a tuner and I can use it as a material for synchro summoning."

"Yeah so what? I never heard of no synchro monster that didn't need at least one non-tuner..."

"Who said I don't have one? I also activate the field spell Tune World. Allowing me to treat my monsters as both tuners and non-tuners. Now to synchro summon!"

Chain Resonator and Police roid swirl around and turn into a level 5 synchro monster Blackwing Beckoning. A 2200 winged beast that cawws like a some terrible voice actor pretending to be a bird.

"I can see you like dark attribute... makes sense given you have no respect for the law."

"Blackwing Beckoning attack his life points directly!" The Beckoning bites his arm taking 2200 from the police officer and Jack gains 2200 life points.

"Oh that's BULLSHIT!"

"im going easy on you officer...wouldn't want a manslaughter charge coupled onto this duel."

"Keep being cocky JACK ass..."

"Oooh that's the closest thing to damage you're gonna do all duel."

The officer draws "I activate pot of greed."

"What does that do?"

The officer mutters "I hate this guy so much..." He draws two than plays scapegoat. four little fur balls hover over his field and he uses all of them to link summon Police Drone. Another machine type that's 2500 attack and cannot be targeted for an attack and can attack life points directly. He than attacks and Jack whinces.

"Starting to sweat a little eh punk?"

"Hardly... I draw."

Jack looks at his cards and looks at the cop. Jack summons a different resonator and synchro summons Red Hot Archfiend. A bulkier 3000atk monstrosity.

"Heh... you're that kinda guy ain't you? Make bigger monsters I dont care. Your monsters are as under arrest as you are! Police Drone says he cannot be targeted for an attack but does not say you can attack my life points directly. You're stuck kiddo. Maybe you can learn to read in that night in jail!"

"The hell do I need to read your cards for when i have my own deck and life to worry about? I activate Red Hot Archfiend's special ability."

Red Hot Archfiend glows and suddenly the cop's drone explodes.

"Destroying all special summoned monsters with 3000 or less attack."

"That's even more bullshit than the last card!"

Underneath the cop is a warning message

[This is a real Yugioh card. (and it isn't even tier 2...)]

Jack than attacks with Red Hot Archfiend and lays down one trap ending his turn. The cop squints, grunts, and draws. He says Police Roid can be special summoned from the grave if one of his monsters was destroyed the previous turn so he special summons that. Which triggers Jack's trap of Synchro Egg. Allowing him to use one monster on the opponent's side of the field as a synchro material and he uses red hot Archfiend and the drone to synchro summon Super Nova Dragon Archfiend. This huge monster big enough for Carly to see from their apartment window with 3000atk power plus the total atk of Synchro materials raising it to 6700.

The officer smirks and lays down one trap. Narrating to himself.

"Magic cylinder was my first card when I was but a boy and knew I wanted to be a police officer! Jack is gonna attack and OTK himself just like everyone whose ever shit posted a heil Hitler pug or made a frog meme! It's what punks like him deserve to dig their own graves!"

Jack draws and summons Hybusa Knight. A real card that's 1000atk and def and can attack twice per turn. The cop looks a bit more tense now but keeps his cool. Jack than equips Hybusa with mage power. giving it 500atk and def for every spell and trap card he controls raising it to 2000. Jack than crosses his arms and says "Hybusa..."

The cop thinks

"Wait...if that bird thing attacks twice I'm dead anyway! I could activate magic cylinder and take a chunk of his life points sure but it won't stop him from attacking again with it. And even if I could he still has that damn Archfiend... I lost. He knows I lost."

"I know everything piglet. Hybusa ATTACK"

Hybusa Knight pulls out his twin swords and strikes twice and the cops life points drop to zero. The cop is defeated and rips up the ticket he was gonna write. Jack turns on his motorcycle and drives back to his apartment saying "I may as well have just paid the ticket instead of enduring that bullcrap Christ..."

As he is riding back Kaiba is at his desk looking out the window seeing Jack speeding along the road flicking another cigarette and Mokuba asks "whatcha looking at bro?"

"Nothing Mokuba...just a third rate duelist with a fourth rate deck."