Disclaimer: Not mine, no copyright intended
A/N: Well this, folks, is my 100th Primeval fic! Its almost two years since I started writing, and it seems appropriate to go back to the point where it started for me... Abby and Connor stranded in the Cretaceous period.
This is for everyone who has supported me, encouraged me, left comments and put up with my occasional lapses into (shock horror!) *other pairings* I asked my closest partners in crime what they thought I should write for my 100th - they all said "fluff"... well... I can't resist a bit of angst ;)
Enjoy, comment, feed the muse with chocolate biscuits... and thank you. Heres to the next 100 :)
Abby leaned closer towards Connor and watched his chest rise and fall. He was sleeping at last after several hours fighting it. He was ill; that fall from the tree had hurt him more than he let on and Abby knew he needed to rest if he was going to recover properly. Yes, he'd complained very loudly about his ankle and leaned on her to walk, but it was the injuries that he wasn't complaining about that concerned her. She'd seen the bruises on his ribs when he stripped his shirt off earlier in the day to bathe; she feared he had internal bleeding. He should be home in the comfort of his own bed, not stuck out here millions of years from home- they both should.
He stirred slightly and groaned out in his sleep. He was in pain and Abby hated that she couldn't do anything for him. The painkillers in the first aid kit she had in her backpack had run out in a couple of days, although they hadn't been a great deal of help anyway. All she could do was give him the chance to sleep as much as possible and hope his body would heal on its own. She'd given up on the anomaly reopening; it wasn't a naturally occurring one like others they'd encountered and the device Connor had used to open it was out of power. As far as she knew, the only other device in existence was Helen Cutter's and there would be no way she'd come back for them. Their only hope had been that Danny had managed to catch up with her – but surely he would have been here by now if he'd been successful.
"Abby?" Connor groaned out.
"Shh, it's OK, Connor. I'm here." She stroked his cheek, not sure if he was just talking in his sleep or had woken. His eyes opened and he blinked at her in the dim light cast by the dying embers of the campfire. She could just make out his forced smile; that brave façade he seemed intent on maintaining. "Go back to sleep."
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
"I'll settle down in a minute. I was just making sure the fire was going out properly."
Connor reached over for her hand and squeezed it. "You're exhausted, you need to sleep. You spent all day climbing up and down those trees to make this roof."
Abby glanced up. She was pretty pleased with what she'd achieved today. They'd found this natural clearing two nights ago; a big enough space for them to set up a makeshift camp with enough trees and shrubbery around to hide them and protect them. Connor had suggested that some of the lower branches could be bent down and woven together to make a canopy that would provide them with some shelter, and Abby had spent the day doing just that under Connor's direction. She planned to spend the following day weaving some vines in to fill in the gaps and maybe patch it up with some mud. In her head she was beginning to think about their long term survival and trying to make this place as comfortable as possible since it was likely they would be here for some time. She hadn't shared that thought with Connor; he was still full of optimism and she didn't want to dampen that yet as it seemed to be the only thing keeping him going through his pain.
"OK, I'll sleep," she said, squeezing his hand back. She should have let it go and leaned back into the sleeping position they'd adopted for the last three nights, but she didn't want to. They'd been sleeping top-to-toe, just close enough to feel the warmth of the other's presence but not quite touching. Now that they had a proper shelter, they could quite easily set up their own separate beds, but Abby was reluctant to suggest it. Not that she'd admit it to him, but she needed to feel him close by.
It seemed Connor was reluctant to let her go too. He tugged at her hand and tried to pull her close. "C'mon, rest your head by me tonight," he whispered. She wasn't going to argue with him. Somehow she found herself slotting in the crook of his arm and neck, resting her head on his chest. She could feel it rise and fall and his warm breath in her hair; a comforting sign that he was very much alive and that she wasn't the only person here. He cradled her in his arm and she snuggled closer, resting her arm over his waist. His breath hitched and thinking she'd hurt him she moved her arm up to his chest instead.
"OK?" he whispered.
"Mm, comfiest pillow I've had in days!"
Connor let out a laugh. "Yeah, comfiest I've been for a while too." His free hand brushed gently against her shoulder and rested there, completing the protective circle around her.
The fire was almost out now, but there was just enough light for her make out the features of Connor's face. He had closed his eyes again, and the steady rhythm of his breathing told Abby he was drifting off to sleep again. He looked peaceful, and Abby could almost imagine that they weren't in this hopeless situation – they were just on a camping trip like the ones she used to go on as a small girl. His lips were slightly parted, soft and inviting. It was less than a week ago that Abby had been kissing them and willing him to return the favour. When he hadn't, she'd been left feeling confused and worried she'd just ruined the best thing she had in her life right now. She'd thought Connor liked her; that he would have given anything for a kiss like that from her, but she'd been wrong. It was so typical, just as she was realising that he was more than just a friend, he was backing off and just wanting to be friends.
The fire finally died and it left complete darkness. It was eerie and Abby didn't think she'd ever get used to it. Back home, even in the dead of night, there would be some kind of light – a street lamp or a glow from one of the many vivariums she had. All she could do was close her eyes and stop fighting her tiredness. As she allowed sleep to overcome her, she listened to Connor's breathing; he was close and that was all she needed to know.
-o-
Something was moving outside; snuffling and scratching at the makeshift entrance to their shelter. Abby had been listening for a few minutes now, trying to decide what she should do. It could be something completely harmless, and she'd feel bad about disturbing Connor's much needed sleep in that case. But it could be something deadly; there'd been a Raptor hanging around earlier in the day that Connor had managed to scare away with a burning branch; what if it had come back now that there was no fire to frighten it? Abby was beginning to wish she'd listened to Connor when he suggested that they kept the fire going all night.
She slid herself out from Connor's arms and suddenly felt very alone and vulnerable; since when had she needed Connor to make her feel safe? She'd always considered herself more than capable of taking care of herself. He stirred and she froze; waiting to see if he was waking up, but he was just simply shifting in his sleep.
The rustling came again; she had to go and look and try to determine if they were in danger or not. Peering around the tree trunk that formed part of the doorway she got her answer. Whatever it was scuttled away. Clearly it had just been a small, curious creature wondering what the strange invasion in it's territory was. Relieved, Abby sat herself on a nearby rock, tucking her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. There was a tiny hint of daylight on the horizon; dawn was approaching and very soon there would be a whole host of creatures scuttling around as they made their way to the nearby lake for a drink. She wouldn't be able to go back to sleep now, and it wouldn't be fair on Connor to go back inside and disturb him with her restlessness.
The creature had made Abby realise that they needed to be more organised if they were going to survive. What if she hadn't woken and that creature had been Raptor or a T-Rex? They'd both be dead by now. They couldn't afford for both of them to sleep at the same time; one of them would have to keep guard as the other slept. When morning came and they'd eaten, Abby was going to have to take charge; they couldn't live on Connor's optimism alone.
She'd been turning her plans over and over in her head for some minutes; so completely lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard Connor call out for her. Suddenly he was at her side looking concerned.
"What are you doing out here? I woke up and you'd gone. I thought something had happened to you!"
"Sorry. I heard a noise and came out to investigate. You were fast asleep, didn't want to wake you."
Connor rubbed his eyes sleepily and settled next to her, mirroring her position. They sat in silence for a few moments, then Connor leaned back and sighed.
"What are you thinking about?" Abby asked.
"Bacon butty and a mug of tea!"
Abby laughed. "Sunday morning breakfast."
"Is it Sunday? I've lost track." His smile dropped and for the first time since they'd been here, Abby saw defeat in his eyes. A lump came into her throat; she may have all but given up, but if Connor was losing hope too they may as well just throw themselves into the path of a Raptor and end it now.
"Yes, it's Sunday," she said. "We should be having a lie-in." There was another silence, and Abby decided it was time to suggest putting some plans in place. At least if they were focussing on something, the despair wouldn't take hold. "I've been thinking. We need to start getting some kind of routine together now that we have somewhere decent to base ourselves."
"I've been thinking that too," Connor said. "Hunting, getting water, fixing the shelter, cooking, bathing... and one of us should really keep guard during the night. Take shifts to sleep."
Abby nodded; at least they were of the same mind now. She yawned and found herself resting her head on Connor's shoulder. He stroked her hair and whispered, "Why don't you go back inside and try and get a couple more hours sleep? I'll keep watch."
Abby shook her head and snuggled in closer. "I'm wide awake now, and besides; here feels quite nice." It did feel nice, more than she'd expected it to.
"I'm sorry you ended up stuck here with me. If I hadn't fallen out of that tree, you'd have been with Danny. I bet he's so much better at this sort of thing than I am," Connor sighed.
Abby sat up and cupped Connor's face with both her hands. "Stop it! I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather be with right now!"
"You don't mean that. You're just saying it to try and make me feel better. I should've stayed behind with Sarah and let Becker come with you and Danny. You'd have been much better off..."
Abby pressed her lips against his and cut off his words. He let out a surprised "oomph" as Abby kissed him, harder than she'd done back at the race track. Her fingers tangled into his hair and she willed him to respond; to pull her into his embrace and kiss her back, but instead he pulled away.
"Don't complicate things more than they are already," he said, moving away slightly.
"You're wrong," Abby said. "Becker and Danny wouldn't have held me the way you did last night. They may have the muscle, but they don't have the brains like you do... or the heart that you do. That's what is going to get us through this. Caring for each other... being together."
"Caring?" Connor spat, "Together? Abby, you don't know the meaning of those words except when it suits you!" He stood up and Abby could see the pain and anger in his eyes. He was hurting and confused, and she didn't blame him. "Where was 'caring' and 'together' when you made me move out of the flat for Jack?"
He was right; she had treated him badly, especially the last few weeks, but what he'd done to get Rex back and keeping quiet about what Jack had done had opened her eyes. She was about to tell him so when she saw him stumble. His face had gone deathly pale and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. "Connor, sit down." It was too late and she screamed as he collapsed to the floor.
-o-
Despite him being a slim man, he was incredibly heavy and Abby had some difficulty getting him back inside the shelter to the bed of ferns he'd been sleeping on not so long ago. She was scared; his pulse was rapid and his breathing shallow, and he was not responding to her desperate pleas for him to wake up. Her eyes stung with tears, but she had to blink them away and pull herself together. Losing it was not going to help him.
She figured it would be one of two things since she wasn't ill. Either he did have internal bleeding like she'd suspected and his blood pressure had dropped, or one of his wounds had got infected. An infection she could deal with; his body would fight it and she would just need to make sure she kept his temperature down and got liquids into him. Internal bleeding and low blood pressure she couldn't manage on her own. He needed proper medical attention.
"Come on, Connor. I need you to wake up." She shook him, giving it one last try. Nothing. He was completely out of it. She was going to have to be his nurse, his doctor, his carer... kind of ironic considering what they'd been arguing about before he collapsed. Curling her fingers into his, she did the only thing she could do; settled in for a long wait to make sure he pulled through. If he didn't... Abby pushed aside that fear; losing Connor was not an option.
-o-
It would be two days before Abby got any kind of response from Connor. She hadn't left his side the entire time, except to deal with the most basic necessities. She was never gone for more than five minutes at a time, but she dreaded something happening to him in that time or him waking up whilst she wasn't there and thinking she'd deserted him. He'd drifted in and out of consciousness, occasionally calling out for her and grasping her hand tightly. She didn't know if he was aware he was doing it or not, but just hearing his voice saying her name gave her strength.
Just before night fell on the second day, he opened his eyes and gazed straight up into the deep blue of Abby's eyes.
"Hey!" she said, softly. "Welcome back." She pushed away a lock of his hair that was falling into the corner of his eye and smiled down at him. "You had me worried there."
"Sorry," he rasped. "What happened?"
"Not sure. You've been ill, but it looks like you're over the worst of it now." She felt relief overwhelm her; she hadn't slept and had only eaten a bare minimum so she felt a little weak. Small price to pay, she'd thought.
Connor nodded and tried to sit up, then winced in pain. "Hm, don't feel so good."
"Stay still. You've been really bad, you shouldn't try to move just yet." Abby placed her hand on his chest and pushed him gently to make him lie down again.
"But we have to keep checking for the anomaly reopening! What if we missed it? Have you been outside with the detector?" He pushed back against her.
"No, I haven't because I've been taking care of you!" Abby snapped. "The anomaly isn't going to reopen and you need to accept that. We're stuck here and this is all we have now. Us. Alone. Together." Tears began to spill down her cheeks; she was too tired to fight them any longer.
"I'm sorry!" Connor sobbed. He brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears and then resting his palm at the side of her face. "This is all my fault."
She placed her hand over Connor's and brought it to her lips. "The only person to blame for our situation is Helen Cutter. We can't change things, but we can make sure we get through this; that we survive."
"You're better off without me, Abby." Connor shook his head. "Look at me, I can barely move. I'm no good. You should leave me here and go off on your own. You'll stand a better chance of ..."
"No, Connor. Whatever we do; we do together. That's the deal." She kissed the palm of his hand.
"Together?"
"Yes... and don't go saying that I don't know what that means! If I was going to dump you, I'd have done it when you fell ill." Leaning down, she kissed his lips; softly and lingering a moment but pulling away. His words "don't complicate things more than they already are," echoed in her head, and cut like a knife into her heart.
"Abby," Connor whispered. "Do that again."
She looked at him slightly puzzled, then leaned in again. As her lips touched his, his arm slid around her waist and his lips grazed against hers. Swallowing down a sob, he closed his eyes and returned her kiss. The surge of warmth and love and longing between them was like a bolt of electricity; all the years of repressing the way they felt about each other finally flooding out and connecting them as one.
Abby tried to move closer, but Connor yelped out in pain and they parted. She looked concerned. "The mind's willing, Abby," Connor laughed. "'Fraid the body isn't quite there yet."
"It's OK, Connor. It can wait. We've waited three years; what's a few more days?"
"S'pose," Connor pouted, then motioned for Abby to snuggle into him like the night before he'd fallen ill. "You should sleep; I'll stay awake and listen out for any predators."
"And then what?"
"I'll wake you up to go and protect me!" Connor laughed, then Abby's lips were on his again. Lips and tongues tangled together; both lost in the joy of the moment.
Together – Yes, Abby certainly knew the meaning of the word now.