Hizashi has had his fair share of shitty days, as a pro hero it's understandable to have shitty days every once in a while, but this- oh this certainly takes the cake. Today was his second year teaching at UA, while earning his degree and fighting crime he couldn't help but to keep thinking about UA. So, last year he applied as an English teacher on a whim and when he found out he got hired was just about the happiest day of his life.
Who knew that something associated with his happiest memory could sour so quickly.
He nearly drops his bags in the entryway of the teacher's lounge and continues to stare forlornly at the all too familiar raven haired individual sitting with his head resting on his arms. Who, just happened to be sitting right next to his desk.
"W-what are you doing here?" Hizashi manages to sputter out, internally cursing himself for the waver in his voice.
"I could be asking you the same." His voice is flat and he doesn't bother to look up.
"I work here!" Hizashi's voice rises a level and feels smugly satisfied when he sees the man cringe. he finally sits up and regards Hizashi with dark and tired eyes. Any feelings he thought was sorted out from before came crashing back as Hizashi starts to fidget under Aizawa's intense gaze.
"Congrats. I do too. Now leave me alone."
"What do you mean that you work here?!" Aizawa lets out a sigh and taps his long fingers against his planner.
"I was asked to come here."
"By who?!" If Hizashi is to be honest with himself, he can't see Aizawa able to hold down a day job, let alone a job to teach children.
"Good to see you never changed, still always asking stupid questions, I see."
"Hey, I don't ask stupid questions! I just want to know why you're here!"
"And I told you. maybe if you stopped talking so much and listened for once in your life, you wouldn't be so confused all the time," Aizawa slowly stands up and walk past him, "Get used to it Yamada, because you're going to see a lot more of me." By the time Hizashi can think of something to say, the man is already gone.
"I just can't believe it! Why does he have to work here?" He whines as he runs his fingers along the lip of the sake's ceramic flask. Kayama finishes her shot and smiles amusingly at him.
"What's so bad about him?"
"What's so bad?! Haven't you been listening? He's my ex!" She laughs and takes another shot.
"And?"
"And what?! How would you like it if you worked with one of your exes? Hmm?" She gives him a wink.
"Do you know how many exes I have? Whose to say that I don't work with one of them already?" Hizashi wrinkles his nose and throws back another shot.
He tells himself that maybe, just maybe, he had too much to drink as he stumbles into his apartment. Not even bothering to care, he flings his jacket across the living room and makes his way to the bathroom. After blindly fumbling around for the light switch he squints against the harsh light and glares at himself in the mirror.
"This is all your fault." Hizashi's voice comes out soft and slurred as he makes his way into the shower. A long night of drinking always makes Hizashi feel gross and no matter how inebriated he is, he'll still take a shower nonetheless.
Hizashi lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling with his hand outreached. The aching feeling in his heart returns, a feeling he thought he could forget about and drown in alcohol. Perhaps he was a fool to believe that he could move on from his first love. A love that he thought would last through the ages and continue even after death. He's a fool, nothing but a drunken fool he thinks to himself as he turns over in bed. Curling himself into a ball, trying to ignore the cold and empty side of the bed.
As he expects, the days certainly don't get better. In fact, it seems to be the complete opposite. Having to sit next to Aizawa everyday while they plan out their lessons in insufferable silence makes Hizashi want to just about rip out his hair. With each passing day, the pang in his heart grows more and more until he feels like he's going to end up dying alone in his apartment with a bottle of alcohol in one hand and the photos of happier times in the other as his heart finally just breaks into two.
Most days he can't even bother to look at Aizawa without feeling a dreaded tightness in his chest. He's devised a schedule so he can go without ever even seeing him. Hizashi admits that it's rather childish but he's still proud of his newly incorporated schedule.
Kayama of course takes it upon herself to entertain herself with her new work drama and Hizashi swears that he's even seen her pull out a bag of popcorn when him and Aizawa accidentally ran into each other in the teacher lounge one day. Hizashi tried to greet him but in usual pissed off Aizawa fashion- he just walked away. Hizashi's morning greeting left hanging empty in the air, just like how Hizashi feels. Alone.\
"So why exactly did you two break up to begin with? How long were you two together?" Hizashi finds himself across from Kayama in another bar for the umpteenth time; he rubs a hand against his face and groans.
"We dated from sophomore year in high school up until junior year in college. It's all my fault that we broke up. He was my first everything y'know. I should've fought harder to keep him." Kayama offers him a reassuring smile and pats his hand sympathetically.
"You still love him don't you?" Hizashi says nothing for a moment before nodding, "Then get him back!" He sighs dejectedly and falls back into his chair.
"It's more complicated than that. Shota would never take me back."
"You'll never know until you talk to him! You've been avoiding the man for a month! I'm impressed by your commitment, it would be kinda amusing if you weren't so pathetic."
"I'm not pathetic." Hizashi murmurs into the drink he's been nursing.
"Really? Because you look pretty pathetic crying into your glass over there."
"I'm not pathetic dammit!" He slams down his cup and staggers up to his feet, "I don't need this right now. Thanks for the drinks."
"Hey where're you going?"
"Home. Stay here, I need to think." Before she has time to reply he shoulders past the other bar patrons and disappears into the crowd.
He knows that this is a stupid idea. Probably the most stupid idea he's had since his last year in college. Hizashi always used to think that he would never turn out to be so cliche and end up calling his ex drunkenly but right now he doesn't care. Right now, he needs to know.
"Come on, pick up." The phone on the other line keeps ringing and when Hizashi is about to hang up, Aizawa finally picks up.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Hizashi closes his eyes in relief and slumps down against the wall.
"I know that I'm probably the last person you want to talk to, but can we meet up somewhere?"
"It's almost three in the morning. I was sleeping."
"Please... it won't take long." Aizawa stays quiet for so long that Hizashi begins to think that maybe he fell back asleep until he hears a sigh.
"It better not take long."
So maybe now that Hizashi is sitting in a nearly empty diner with Aizawa across from him, he's starting to have major doubts. Aizawa wrinkles his nose and takes a sip from his coffee.
"You reek of alcohol." Hizashi bows his head and nods guiltily.
"Sorry." Aizawa waves his hand dismissively and studies him fixedly with a cold stare.
"What do you want?" All of his pent up feelings over everything starts to bubble up and Hizashi lets out a chocked sob.
"I miss you." He tries to go on but all restraint he's had breaks and he starts to cry. Both men sit in silence as Hizashi watches his own tear drops hit against the table.
"Look, we both agreed that this would be for the-" He feels his heart lurch and he shakes his head vehemently.
"I'm sorry okay? I should've been there more for you!"
"...come on, I'll take you home. You need to go to bed, you're drunk." Aizawa starts to stand up but Hizashi reaches over and grabs his hand.
"I can't," He hears a sigh, "I'm not done talking yet." Aizawa stiffly sits back down and Hizashi retracts his hands.
"I... I hate going to sleep anyway. Do you want to know why? Because I always dream of you. I don't know why you decided to come to teach at the school that you knew that I teach at but ever since you started here; I always dream of you. Waking up again in the morning just always breaks my heart because I know that I can't have you anymore."
"I told you, I was asked to come to the school." His reply is quiet and curt, Hizashi stares back at the man and chuckles.
"Shota. I've been quiet for too long. I know that I've been a jerk in the past and that everything is my fault but I've changed. I really have. These past two years have been hell, I know that you've been good without me by your side and I thought maybe if I gave myself some time... I'd be alright too but I just don't know anymore. All I do know is that I still love you. Everyday I find myself thinking that I was so fucking stupid to let you go. You were the greatest thing that happened in my life and I was-" Aizawa shakes his head and frowns.
"You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying."
"So what if I'm drunk! I'm still telling the truth!" Hizashi bolts up from his seat, gaining a few questioning glances from the two servers, "Look, all I need to know is if you feel the same way." Silence stretches between the two men and Hizashi doesn't move as Aizawa runs a hand over his weary face.
"I'm sorry," Aizawa's deep voice comes out as a mutter, avoiding Hizashi's searching eyes, "I can't do this."
"Why?" his voice falters and for the second time in his life, he feels his heart break and he leans on the table for support. He feels the tears start to form again and he tries to take in deep breaths to calm himself.
"Because we broke up for a reason. I can't do this when I know that we'll both just get hurt in the end again. Just... leave it. I'm sorry." The raven haired man stands up and gives Hizashi a sad nod before walking out of the diner and into the cold night.
"This really is it," Hizashi whispers into his half empty coffee mug, "There's nothing that I can do."
Author's Note
Don't you hate it when you drunkenly profess your feelings to your ex and they just shoot you down?... Uh, totally not speaking from experience...
Okay... so it's not really a one shot but more of a prequel. However, I won't start on that story for a little bit. Not going to lie, I'm a little proud of myself for posting twice in one day haha (despite both stories being kind of short), especially for how busy work has been tonight. Nothing really else to write down for the moment. So, until then, fairwinds.