Ianto lay in bed, unable to stop the thoughts running through his head. It was almost time for him to carry out his plan, and although he was certain he was doing the right thing, part of him wanted to remain with Jack despite recent events.
The first time Jack had called out his own name during sex, Ianto had put it down to his lover's egotism. He had not noticed the guilty expression on his face as Ianto had teased him mercilessly. The second time it occurred, as soon as Jack had come, he had rolled off of Ianto, cleaned himself up and began to dress, all the while unable to meet Ianto's confused gaze. When Ianto had demanded to know where the hell he was going, he had made up a feeble excuse about needing to feed Myfanwy.
It wasn't until Ianto had found the picture of Captain Jack Harkness in Jack's desk drawer that the pieces began to fall into place. He supposed he should have screamed and shouted, demanded answers and made Jack pay for his betrayal but he found he couldn't. He loved him, but he had to face the truth; although Jack loved him, he didn't love him enough. It wasn't Jack's fault; it was just one of those things. He couldn't blame him really, why on earth wouldn't Jack fall in love with a man that would sacrifice the respect of his men and his career to kiss a man he had only just met in a crowded room?
Since then, Ianto had systematically begun to withdraw from Jack. Gone were the soft touches and knowing smiles, gone were the playful games and whispered comments designed to shock and arouse and in their place were civil tones and hurried fucking followed by awkward silences as each man tried to ignore the elephant in the room with them.
Jack had initially been confused, looking for traces of anger or pain, waiting for the time when Ianto's calm facade would fall and the accusations would fly. However, as time had gone by and Ianto's demeanour hadn't changed, Jack had begun to relax and it was this more than anything else that had angered Ianto. He had not expected Jack to fall to the floor begging for understanding, but he had at least expected a token attempt to appease him, instead, Jack had seemed relieved that he was free to indulge in his obsession of Captain Jack Harkness.
When Ianto had brought up the topic of cross-training at the team meeting, Jack had initially been suspicious but once Ianto had dumbfounded him with logic, he had accepted the proposal so thoroughly that he had actually believed he had suggested it. Ianto had taught Gwen how to find her way around the archives, Tosh how to complete the numerous forms that filled his days and Owen how to make the coffee. In return, Owen had taught him basic surgical techniques, Tosh had taught him the intricacies of the mainframe and how to hack into any CCTV system and Gwen, well Gwen had taught him every dirty criminal trick she had learnt while on the force (many of which Ianto had already known, but he hadn't had the heart to wipe the proud smile of her face so had bumbled his way through, slowly improving at an acceptable rate).
Training with Jack had been unnecessary, there was nothing he could have taught him, and any secrets that Jack had remained just that, secrets.
In between training sessions, field work and the general day-to-day running of the Hub Ianto had still found time to appease his physical hunger for Jack. But as his physical hunger lessened, his emotional hunger grew and he found himself trying to convince himself that Jack truly loved him. He silenced the voices in his head that told him he was a fool and convinced himself that he had to at least try to salvage his relationship with Jack.
The final straw came when Jack had bounded in to the Tourist Information Office carrying a large box and wearing a beaming smile. Ianto's grin at his lover's exuberance lasted only as long as it took to open the box and see the contents. Inside had been a vintage American Air Force uniform. Ianto hadn't needed to say a word, his expression had said it all; Jack had hurriedly removed the offending box and they had never spoken of it again.
It had taken a few days for Ianto's replacement, David, to become available. He had already checked how the team had responded to him by inviting them round for dinner and introducing David as his cousin that was visiting for a few days. He had watched them interact and was pleased when David verbally sparred with Owen, refusing him to give him the upper hand. Tosh had taken a shine to David immediately, recognising a fellow computer enthusiast and Gwen had tried to interrogate the young man, only to find herself revealing more about herself than she learned about him.
It had been David's reaction to Jack that worried Ianto the most, but he soon realised that he needn't have worried. The man was totally immune to the charms of the Captain; much to team's amusement and Jack's chagrin.
Looking at the clock, Ianto rolled out of bed and leaving Jack sleeping, made his way to the Hub where he met David at the door. When Jack arrived, it was to find David feeding Myfanwy whilst being supervised by Ianto. Not wishing to spook the pterosaur he waited until she had been fed before ordering Ianto to his office.
"What the hell is he doing here? I thought I made it clear this was a top secret base, therefore no family invited to play with the dinosaurs!" Jack yelled.
Ianto lifted an eyebrow. "So it's not bring your family to work day then?" Ianto asked in mock innocence.
"Don't be patronising! What the hell is he doing here?"
Ianto took a seat in front of Jack's desk and looked at Jack seriously. Suddenly his mouth went dry and his heart began to pound so hard he thought that his body must be jerking to the rhythm of its beat. He took a deep breath before he began.
"David isn't my cousin, he's my replacement. I've taught the others most of my duties but you'll still need an extra hand. David is ex-UNIT so he's familiar with Torchwood's work and he is field trained."
Jack's mouth opened and closed, his mind whirring as he tried to comprehend Ianto's words. "What do you mean your replacement, where the hell are you going?"
Ianto smiled sadly. "I mean exactly what it sounds like; David is here to take my place. I requested a transfer to Torchwood House, working in the archives and they accepted me. I start in two weeks time. That should give me enough time to find a flat and settle in before I start work."
He watched as Jack stood up abruptly and began to pace the room. "I know that I've been a bit distracted..." He broke off abruptly at Ianto's snort of derision. "...but you don't have to leave, we can work things out, I know we can!"
"Distracted! Distracted! You call out some other man's name while we make love and then you try and get me to dress like him! That's not distracted, that's just being an insensitive twat! You know how I feel about you, yet you insist on making it clear it's not me you love, it's a man that doesn't exist anywhere but in your head. You know I almost feel sorry for you, almost, but not quite."
"I am so sorry, Ianto. I never meant to hurt you. I honestly believed that I could give you what you needed. You have to believe me."
Ianto looked at him in disbelief. "I'm sure you did at the start, but what about in the last few months? I've played second fiddle to a memory and you haven't even tried to hide it, in fact you've rubbed my nose in it! Did you honestly think I wouldn't mind being dressed up to look like your fantasy man?" Ianto paused as the impact of his next words hit him. "It's over, Jack. I deserve to be loved and accepted for who I am, not who you want me to be."
Jack looked devastated. "I know you do. If it's any consolation I wanted to love you, I really did. So when are you going?"
"The day after tomorrow. I didn't want to spring this on you and just leave so I'll make sure David is settled in and I'll break the news to Gwen, Tosh and Owen."
Jack nodded sadly. "Alright, tomorrow night we'll go out as a team to give you a proper send off." As Ianto began to protest, Jack held up his hand. "This isn't just about you and me, the others will want a proper chance to say goodbye and good luck, I don't want how you feel about me to affect that."
Ianto paused, thinking it over before agreeing. "Alright. For the team."
As Ianto began to leave Jack stopped him, holding on to his arm. He gathered the younger man in his arms. "I'll miss you so much. I'm sorry I've hurt you." Any composure Ianto had managed to keep deserted him at Jack's whispered words. Ianto's breath hitched with the effort of holding back the tears that suddenly flooded his vision.
Ianto pulled away and straightened his suit. "I know I'll miss you too." He gave Jack a watery smile and held out his hand. "Now come on, it's time to tell the kids that Mommy and Daddy are splitting up, what will you bet me that Gwen will cry?"
Jack squeezed his hand and forced a laugh. "Uh-uh, there's no way I'm taking that bet; now if it was Owen..."