Time Or Tide
I've not got much time left. I know that. Brome is positive, he says Rose and Martin will be coming with an army soon. But I cannot believe that they will ever march here with the vast force Brome expects them to, if they come at all. So many things could prevent them – drowning at sea, washing up at unknown places where all help is refused, being killed in a skirmish with vermin. But I can't speak of my doubts to anyone – least of all the young'un. He's at the stage when he thinks that everything will be all right in the end.
However, I'm older, I know that nothing is ever satisfying for everyone. We will either be submitted to a crushing defeat and slavery, or we will have a glorious win – but endure terrifying losses. I'm no fool, nevertheless I'm going to undertake this mission. But I want Badrang to suffer pain – all the agony that he forced us to succumb to. I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees, as that revolutionary squirrelmaid said. My father is fond of proverbs, and that is like one – full of obscure wisdom.
I'm not afraid. Why should I be? My best friend is perhaps dead, though when I really wonder about it, I cannot – will not – believe that. He had so many reasons to live. He can't be dead. My last memory of him is he, Rose and Grumm floating off on their piece of driftwood. I knew we were thinking the same thing.
`I may have let you go this time, Badrang, but when I return, you can bet your beloved, maniacal, evil Marshank that I will kill you.`
The only thing that bothered me then was who would actually kill Badrang. It wouldn't be fair, even to a tyrannical stoat, to have two on one. But then, all the slaves in Marshank wanted to kill Badrang – with the exception of Druwp. However, I'd sorted him. I've never felt any guilt – he'd have had all of us slain if I hadn't silenced him personally – and if I hadn't, Badrang would have.
You know, it's strange the way things come back to you at idle moments. There's an old comic ballad that my father used to sing.
And as they stabbed him, he gave a cry
"Infamy! Infamy! You all have it in-for-me!"
They say I have long seasons ahead of me, where I will cease to be the hard-eyed warrior, settle down somewhere peaceful, marry, have children. But I know I won't. Even if I live through this, I can't forget the pain and suffering Badrang caused. I know I didn't give one sign of that agony, not even when I was a baby. And I never will cry.
Time and tide wait for no creature, and the hour is near now. I try not to show any emotion as I embrace my father and gather together maybe six or seven javelins. There is no going back now. Well – I still can draw back, put away the weapons. But I can't, I won't, I shan't, and most important of all – I don't.
And as I stride down the sandbank to my destiny, I call out the words that seal my fate.
"Fur and Freedom! Baaaadraaaaaaang!"