Pride & Prejudice: The Play

by Queen of Duct Tape

Jane Austen is so long-winded, so QDT was kind enough to edit her work to make it short, to the point, and easily readable. Some language not appropriate for polite society.

Pride & Prejudice: The Play

By: QDT

Disclaimer: Jane Austen is much more long-winded than I am.

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MRS. BENNET: OMG Mr. Bingley! He should marry one of our daughters!

MR. BENNET: WTF?

MR. DARCY: -silence-

ELIZABETH: What a jerk.

MR. COLLINS: Will you marry me?

ELIZABETH: Hell no.

CHARLOTTE: I've got nothing better to do.

MR. DARCY: -writes letter-

LADY CATHERINE: You can't marry my nephew, bitch.

ELIZABETH: …?

MR. BINGLEY: Jane, I love you!

JANE: Yay!

ELIZABETH AND MR. DARCY: -get married-

THE END.