"And Action!" the cameraman called out against the howling winds.
"What time is it?" Heidi the lovely assistant waved to the audience who were literally freezing their asses to the metal bleachers.
"Tool Time!" they groaned in unison. It was freezing on top of the iceburg where the latest episode was being filmed. For what reason would Binford allow such a drastic change to the usual format?
"...And here's your host, Tim the-tool-man Taylor!' Heidi continued. The classic tool time fanfare blasted through the studio speakers as Tim and his helpful aide Al Borlan stepped into view. Dressed in Binford brand parkas and sporting matching snow shoes they greeted the audience before beginning the show.
"Ohhohohohoho" Tim grunted. "Welcome to Tool Time, despite the ho'ing noises I ain't Santa, but he his." Tim pointed towards Al whose beard had collected several snowflakes.
"Very funny Tim." Al muttered. "We're here today to demonstrate the latest Binford product." Hedi rolled out a large object hidden by a heavy sheet. Tim pulled the sheet off with a smile and said:
"The Binford Icebreaker!" The crowd stared speechlessly at the contraption. It looked at first to be a lawn mower of some sort, except it was covered in what appeared to be drill bits.
"Specially developed for experts, the Binford Icebreaker is..." Al began.
"One sweet ride!" Tim cackled, now sitting atop the Icebreaker.
"Tim get down from there, you aren't certified to operate that equipment!"
"That's what she said!" Tim laughed. "Ohhohohohohohohohoho." He flicked a few switches and the machine began to hum with life. "Heidi, we need more power!" he shouted.
"Tim that's not a good idea!" Al bitched.
"MORE POWER!" Tim roared. The drills spun at top speed. Frantically pulling various levers, Tim eventually got the Icebreaker to beging to bore into the iceburg. "Woahh!" he laughed. The crowd gasped as Tim and the Icebreaker accelerated at an amazing speed into the solid ice. In an instant they were gone as if the very earth had swallowed them whole.
"Tim!" Al cried. A minute passed, then two. Al bent over the hole that Tim had drilled.
"Al, your never going to believe this I found a guy down here!"