This was written for my own amusement, I own nothing so don't sue me.
Harry Potter was not a happy little dude because his parents were dead, but the Dursleys were still alive and he had to live them. They weren't nice people yet no one other than Harry could see it.
Vernon Dursley was a fatty, fat, cheese munching prick. Petunia Dursley looked a horse that walked into a lamppost and gossiped so much it was a surprise her tongue didn't fall off then get eaten by an owl.
Dudley Dursley looked like a mini whale and acted like a little shit. His hobbies were bullying people weaker than, throwing tantrums, looking and acting like a moron, and eating enough food to feed a poor village in Africa for a month.
Harry found out he was a wizard and a psycho dude kept trying to kill him.
The End
I would like to say this is a on purpose troll fic because I was bored and wondered what it's like to write one.