Sooo.. This is my very first Twilight Fic!

It is completely canon- story line, pairings etc.- and is set Post Breaking Dawn.

Enjoy! Please Review! Give me all of your criticism please! It helps me write better!

Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any characters in the Twilight universe. Stephanie Meyer does. (unfortunately)

Esme

It has been months since that fateful encounter with the Volturi, and I still can't seem to lose the crushing worry that seems to have embedded itself into my being. The nights are the worst. Sometimes it is so stifling that I rise and move to the window, whether it is from Carlisle's side, or from our crowded couch next to my children. Of course, Edward notices, but he is wise enough to remain silent of the inner demons that have taken to haunting me on those nights. Carlisle watches me with wary eyes, and waits for a sign that I am ready for him before he joins me, standing next to me at the window until the sun inches over the horizon. Some nights, when the burden is almost too much to bear, I pull him into the bedroom, where he holds me until my shoulders stop shaking. Tonight is one of those nights.

"When will it end?" I whispered the words into his shirt as I leaned against him.

"It already did, darling," he said, "What are you afraid of?" He is especially venturous tonight.

"I can't...I can't see my family broken up again. I can't lose them. It was so close Carlisle. What if.." I took a shaky breath, "What if.."

"Hush, Esme." Carlisle interrupts me. "We mustn't worry about the what if's. We are all safe and our family is whole. Focus on that."

"But for how long Carlisle? I can't seem to stop being afraid for what the future holds!" I looked up into his eyes. The rich topaz is full of concern and love. I look to the window.

"Its crushing me, Carlisle."

He is silent.

~o~O~o~

Carlisle

The months after the Volturi encounter are complicated. Very. I sighed and rested my elbows on my desk. On one hand, our family was whole again. Alice and Jasper were back, and there was no hovering uncertainty for Nessie's future anymore. The threat of the Volturi had passed..for now. There, the "catch" that loomed above them like the gathering storm clouds they saw so often in Forks. How long did they have until they fell under Aro's interest again? How long would he resist the temptation to acquire the children by force? Though I try not to admit it, I tend to push these questions into the recesses of my mind, as I join in with the infectious happiness my children are radiating. Only Edward seems a bit wary, but he seems to be using the same tactic as I. Then, there was Esme. Oh Esme!, I thought, Dear, sweet, pure Esme! The very thought of her plunges me into sorrow. I can do nothing but watch as she sinks more and more into herself as she fights her inner demons. If only I could fight them too! But I cannot. I can only stand by her side, or hold her to me. I wish my arms were an impenetrable fortress that kept away the horrors, but her fight is within. I bury my face into my hands. We need to leave Forks, says my inner voice of reason. It is true, a move would be good to all of us, so that we can leave the bad memories behind. However, to uproot the family from the place that they so endeared might not bode well. Especially since leaving Forks would mean leaving the pack. Taking Jacob away from Nessie would not work. I hit the table in frustration. I looked down and saw that I had left an indentation in Esme's favorite desk. It only frustrates me more. I took a few deep breaths as the door to my office cracked open.

"There, there, Carlisle, control yourself! They do have a class for that you know." Edward popped his head in the doorway, his mouth turned up at the ends.

"Edward." I said, grinding my teeth together. "Thou art..." My tongue slips as my frustration builds. "This is not the time."

"Your're right." His face sobers as he enters. "We need to talk."

"About..."

He looked up into my face. "Leaving Forks."

Thank God! I let my thoughts speak for me, as my voice would have been a shout. The idea has been bottled up for so long inside me, the thought of discussing it aloud is like a soothing balm on my frustration. Perhaps not here, Edward...

"You read my mind, dad." My mouth twitches, as the joy of being accepted as his father is familiar, like every other time, but it is dulled as I think of my other part.

"Yes, that too." he said. "Lets go."

We both descend the beautiful polished staircase. I allowed my hand to caress the intricate railing Esme had so painstakingly chosen only for a moment as we headed towards the door. In the past, I have stood there for minutes, even hours, admiring every piece, as they all reminded me of her. She would find me there on occasion, her eyebrow arching as she watched me. If she asked, I would only peck her lips and continue to the doorway, reason for leaving forgotten. But now, those serene moments are hard to come by. During the day, I work long hours at the hospital, and Esme... does everything. On the occasions that I am home, I watch her dart around the house in a blur of color, cleaning, painting, designing with Alice and Rosalie, playing with Nessie, cooking for Jacob and Seth, doing anything that keeps her body busy, and her mind from worrying. How long had it been since she had laughed aloud? I allow my thoughts to return to the present. The house is oddly empty. Jacob was watching Nessie since the girls had taken Esme for a day out with Jasper and Emmett as their escorts. Poor unfortunate souls. Edward smirks. Being forced to watch them as they tried on garment after garment was punishment. Of course Esme was divine in anything she chose to wear, but getting her to believe that took hours. Those shopping trips we had taken before Alice joined us still make me shudder. I followed Edward out, and into the forest. Where are we going son?

"You'll see."

Then, he stopped in a clearing, at least ten miles from our home. Why so far Edward?, I asked.

"Just so I can get some piece and quiet." he said. "So I could only have our thoughts, on this subject, not every other subject possible."

I nodded in assent. "So," I cleared my throat. Edward sighed.

"We have to leave, Carlisle." He looked up into my face, his own set into lines of determination. "We must."

I recoiled slightly, taken aback. Though I was glad of his descion, it surprised me. Aside from Nessie, I thought him as the least likely candidate to agree with me. To him, this was the place. Where it was cloudy enough throughout the year for him to attempt at normalcy, where he met his love, where he was married, where his child was born.

"I know." He said. "I don't want to leave, but we have to do what is best for everyone." He looked up at me again. "It's not just Esme, Carlisle. It's Nessie too. She has nightmares." He brought his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose, a sure sign of stress. "Every night. And not just nightmares, they are full scale, Bella-worthy, nightmares."

I winced.

"Yes. They're full of the Volturi, and what could have gone wrong that day." He growled. "I can't watch one of us get pulled apart, or Jacob and Seth, lying somewhere, bloody. Not every night. Especially when I know its going on in my daughter's mind." His eyes darkened as he continued. "That's not the worst of it either. She has some dreams where...with us, all of us, with red eyes, and we..." He choked on his words. "It's almost relieving when she wakes up screaming."

I turned away. For Nessie, being so young physically, and so old mentally came as both a blessing and a curse. She was so bright, but she lost the childhood innocence she should have had. She was to young to be worrying about such things.

"Your're right Carlisle. But its not just her. All of them, they try to put on a facade that everything is over. But they are all so tense. Alice gets so worried, you know, that she won't see it when they come for us." He said, "And Emmett, you know he has that soft spot for Esme, and he can't bear to see her like this. Jasper is being torn apart by all the emotions he's getting, but he doesn't have the heart to make us feel better when he feels the same." He buried his hands in his hair. "Bella is as tense as everyone else, but she just doesn't want to admit it. I must say, Rosalie is taking it the best of all of us, but she is withdrawing into herself too."

And you Edward?

"I...I just want everyone else to be happy again, Carlisle. I don't like living like this."

But what of the pack? Jacob could not be too far from Nessie, due to his imprint, and she was getting very... attached to him as well, so to speak.

"That's one thing I don't know Carlisle, I was thinking we could...er...cross that bridge when it comes?"

I smirked. "You are becoming quite the father, you know, supplying adages at a moment's notice."

"Ha. Ha."

Shall we? It was getting late, and I wanted to get back home before the others.

"Yes. Lets go."

We ran back in the direction of the house. As we reached within a few miles of the house I caught it. Their scents. Damn. They were home, all of them, Jacob and Nessie included. I looked to Edward. He was wearing an odd expression on his face.

Lets just get this over with, son. He responded with a terse nod, and I tentatively opened the door.

~o~O~o~

Alice

I pulled my lovely Porsche into the garage, and cut the engine. Carlisle and Edward were both not in the house, just as my vision predicted. However, Edward was focusing his decisions so much on Nessie that I could not get a clear picture of them.

"Where are those two lucky bastards?" Emmett roared. I just didn't understand why no one wanted to go shopping. Not like Jaz and Em had a choice or anything...but still! I only bought two cars worth of merchandise today!

"They went on a quick hunting trip." I hated lying, but there was something going on Edward obviously did not want anyone to know about, and I wanted to respect his wishes. "Edward was thirsty, and Carlisle wanted some bonding time." I said, plastering a grin on my face. Jaz gave me a look, but he did not question me, even when I could not meet his eyes.

"Hmm... that's odd." Bella said, frowning. "We went hunting just last night."

"Ha!" shouted Emmett, "I bet dear Eddie was a bit distracted last night, if you know what I mean." He wagged his eyebrows at Bella. Bella grinned good naturedly. "Maybe a little..."

"Okay! Too much information!" said Jacob, striding into the doorway with Nessie on his shoulders.

"Is Carlisle coming back soon?" Esme asked me in a soft voice. I looked outside and saw it was almost dark. I focused as hard as I could on Carlisle, as he was the easier of the two to see. A vision finally flashed in front of me.

"He will be here in 3 minutes." Esme's eyes flashed with relief. My heart felt that familiar pang of sorrow. I had hoped the shopping trip would have helped Esme a bit, but it did not seem so. Suddenly, I was hit with another vision.

They were talking and laughing together, like they used to...before. There was evident change in Esme's eyes, and she watched them sparkle with laughter. Jasper was beside her, ad she snuggled closer to him as she watched the scene. The house was unfamiliar, as was the furniture. She could not see Edward, but he must have been with Nessie. In the vision, she smelled Jacob, but they were no where near Forks or the reservation. But they were so at home there, so content...The vision ended, and I snapped back to the present.

"Alice." Jasper whispered in my ear. "What did you see?" I turn to face him, and his eyes are full of something we have been missing. Hope.

"Why?" I asked him. Usually he does not question me about my visions.

"You were just so...happy," he said, his voice full of awe. "I haven't felt anything like that in a long time."

"I can't tell you just yet Jaz." I said. "But I have a feeling that you will find out soon."

The doorknob turned slowly, tentatively, and Carlisle and Edward reentered the house.

Thanks for reading!

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