Never Letting Go of You, Chris/Darren, PG-13
Title: Can't Look at You Any Other Way
Author: .com
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Word Count: 600+
Summary: "I want to believe you Darren. I really do. I want to believe that you could care."
Spoilers: Uh… None really… Glee tour ending…
Author Notes: First attempt writing RPF, go easy on me!
Chris was sitting in his hotel room, staring out the window.
"Knock Knock" Darren called out as he opened the door and slowly walked in. Chris barely stirred. "Why aren't you downstairs? Last day of tour! You should be celebrating!" Darren said excitedly, his smile from being at the party himself still etched onto his face. Chris slowly turned to face him, a blank expression on his face
"What the hell was that about Darren?"
Darren's smile faltered.
"What? I don't-"
"The kiss"
"Oh, that, well, the fans wanted it and Naya did with heather and… you saw the reaction, it was perfect, everyone freaked"
"Yeah, the crowd loved it. And I guess that's all that matter's right? How the crowd feels, not how-never mind" Chris sighed and turned back to the window
"Where is this all coming from?" Darren asked slowly
"Don't act so confused Darren, you're smarter than that. You had to have known how I would feel"
"I don't get it Chris, you seemed fine about it in the skit…"
"I was in character! That's how Kurt would have reacted. Kurt would've gotten all breathy and he would've blushed and collapsed and probably written a song about it. That was the reaction that the crowd wanted. Kurt's Reaction, not Chris'."
"And what would Chris' reaction have been?" Darren asked, sitting down a foot away from where Chris was perched. Chris was silent for a moment, refusing to make eye contact.
"Don't Darren. Just don't. Don't act like you don't know. You know that I've developed feelings, or whatever the hell you want to call them, for you over the past little while. You know, that it's hard for me to deal with the media and half of the world thinking you've gone gay for me when I know that will never happen" Chris stopped to take a breath, fighting back sobs, willing the tears to stay inside his eyes. After a moment, he continued "and you had to have known how that kiss would affect me. Do you not realize how hard it is for me to be so close to you, but know that I'll never have you?" The room was silent. Nothing but the faint sound of music from the party below and Chris' quiet sobs could be heard. Finally, Darren spoke, struggling for words
"I'm sorry about the kiss. I didn't want to…hurt you"
"Whatever Darren, just go." Chris said in a broken voice
"Chris!" Darren said loudly "I care about you"
"Do you though? I want to believe that Darren. I really do. I want to believe that you could care… Please, tell me something. Tell me something to make me think you need me. To make me believe that you want me in your life, that you give a damn what happens to me. That you could ever want me. That you could ever look at me, and see someone that you-just say anything to make me believe that you care. Please make me believe that you care." Broken sobs came bursting from Chris' lips "Please. Please Darren, Just say something to make me think-"
"I love you"
"What"
"I love you" Darren repeated "I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you. I spend time with you, because it hurts when I don't. I haven't said anything because I'm scared. People think that I have feelings for you because I do. I love you, Christopher Colfer, I love you"
Both boys stared at each other, tears still streaming from Chris' eyes and some starting to form in Darren's.
"That works too" Chris whispered
And with that Chris fell into Darren's arms and they just held each other. Held each other like their lives depended on it. Held them as if they were holding on to their whole world. Held each other like they wouldn't, and couldn't, ever let go.
Because in that moment, to each boy, it seemed like their lives depended on it. It seemed like the one they were holding was the whole world.
And neither of them could ever picture letting go.