"I love you," Shinichi shouted to Ran as he was heading out the door. "See you on Sunday!"
Shinichi was heading to where he had promised to meet Ran. After he had returned to his original age and left Conan behind, he had told Ran everything. It took a while for her to calm down and stop breaking the nearest wall or post or mailbox or whatever was near her whenever she had seen him. She had so many fines to the school for broken desks which Shinichi just kindly paid for behind Ran's back before she had the chance to hear about them. After everything had calmed down, they had finally started to go out. This was going to be their second official date. Everyone was happy for them, but Shinichi was really nervous. He had not gotten any sleep the night before. He may have faced down the worst of the worst especially as far as the Black Organization was concerned, but he would never get over the feeling of actually being able to call Ran his girlfriend. While he was wandering to the meeting place, he heard different sirens. Normally he would have run straight towards them, but he decided to let the police do their job for once. He did not want to anger Ran anymore just because he missed their date to go help the police. It turns out he did not need to run towards the sounds. They kept getting louder the closer he got to the meeting place. Shinichi broke out into a run assuming the worst.
The closer he got, the more worried he was. His eyes kept darting around the crowd and streets looking for any sign that Ran was there. Unfortunately, his eyes could find no trace of her. He saw Takagi-keiji and Sato-keiji up ahead. They were not in their uniforms though. Instead, they were talking to the other police officer that worked with the traffic department. Shinichi's mind could not produce the name of her with it being more occupied on finding Ran.
Shinichi went up to the officers attempting to find out some information about what had happened here. Before any words could leave his mouth, he broke down and fell over. His legs could not hold him up any longer. In front of him lay Ran. Blood was running down her face and there was a pool of blood underneath her head. Her hair was soaked with blood turning her hair from a nice shade of brown to a sticky, reddish mess.
Hearing someone fall over, Takagi and Sato looked over. They were shocked to see Shinichi there. They had heard that he was back, but they had not met him beyond seeing him wandering through the police station to give statements after helping on a case. Both of them had heard that he was dating Ran though. Neither of them had ever expected to have their first real meeting with him be under these conditions.
Takagi knelt down next to Shinichi and started to check if he was ok. "Come on, Kudo-kun," Takagi started helping Shinichi up to bring him to a nearby ambulance, "let's get you looked at. You do not look like you are in the best shape to be here. Come on, up you get." Takagi carefully led Shinichi away from where he had been kneeling before. He was careful to make sure that he would not be able to see Ran's body as they moved.
Shinichi was led to the ambulance and checked out. Luckily, all that he had wrong with him was shock. There was no harm done from his fall on the street with all the people around him. He had enough to deal with what with the shock of losing Ran.
I can't believe it. I just got back. The Black Organization was gone. I should have been able to live my life in peace! Now, the only one that I care about is gone from me and likely will not be back… Shinichi sat there loathing himself and his curse while not being able to focus on anything. What would Kogorou think of him now? He had already been on Kogorou's black list before this accident because of all the suffering that he had put Ran through before. This would NOT help him gain points in Kogorou's favor even if Ran was able to survive which was unlikely based on what he had seen with the quick glance at Ran he had been able to get.
Takagi just kept a silent vigil on Shinichi while everyone else cleared away. Ran was already on her way to the hospital where she would get immediate surgery. Takagi knew that there was very little chance of her pulling through though. All he could do was watch over this young man and hope that he didn't do anything rash as he had heard Kudo-kun was likely to do. He had heard many stories about how Kudo kept turning up in the hospital while helping the police on a case. Takagi worried what he would do if he were left alone right now. He eventually made up his mind on what he should do.
"Up you get. You are going back to your parents. They are here right?" Getting a shake of the head in response, Takagi responded, "Alright then. You, mister, are coming with me. I am not leaving you alone right now. I will not take any answer besides an affirmative. You will be handcuffed and dragged to my house if needed." Shinichi had no will to fight even though every fiber of his being cried out that he should go to the hospital and be with Ran even though there was no way he could do anything. He doubted he would be able to make it to the hospital or even have the ability to hear what was being said about Ran's condition. Kogorou would probably kick him out even if he showed up. Takagi took Shinichi's shoulders and steered him towards the waiting car explaining what was going on to Sato.
Once at the house, Takagi made sure that Shinichi ate something before checking in on Ran's status hoping for some good news. Unfortunately, he got the worst news possible. Ran had died on the way to the hospital. Nothing could be done. She had been hit by the car and knocked into the wall behind her. Even if she had survived, she would have been in a coma for a long time or had some form of brain damage. Takagi held this news to himself knowing that Shinichi would eventually have to be told not knowing that Shinichi had heard him talking about Ran and could tell what had happened to her through Takagi's reaction. He withdrew even more.
While Shinichi was staying with Takagi, his parents came. They had heard about what had happened to Ran and tried to cheer him up. Shinichi would not even acknowledge that they were next to him. They eventually left, but not before thanking Takagi for looking after their son. All three of them knew that it was best for him to stay with Takagi instead of going back to his house where he had spent so many happy moments with Ran.
Having Shinichi move on from Ran enough to leave the house was not helped when Kogorou eventually came over. Takagi would not let him see Shinichi, but that did not matter. Kogorou's voice put even Nakamouri-keibu to shame. Shinichi agreed with everything that Kogorou was saying including the fact that he broke Ran's trust by being late and hiding in plain sight and that he was a murderer. If he hadn't asked for Ran to wait there and been so nervous that he was running late, Ran would not have been waiting there and gotten hit by the car.
It took a long time, but eventually Shinichi was able to go out without Takagi fearing that he would do something reckless. While Shinichi had been healing his wounds, Takagi had just stayed there with him or had Sato stay and watch him. They had arranged it so their schedules were switched around allowing for one of them to always be with Shinichi. Shinichi hadn't even put up any resistance the whole time he had stayed with Takagi. Now though, he was out and he could not stand it. He just wanted to run back to Takagi's and hide there from all of the pitying looks that he was receiving. Everyone in town had heard about what had happened. It didn't help that Shinichi was so famous especially after taking down the Black Organization while working the FBI, CIA, police, and a certain thief that no one but Shinichi had noticed had snuck in on the case. Shinichi walked as quickly as possible while trying to avoid all people possible. Eventually, he unconsciously had made his way towards the spot of Ran's death. Once he got there, he just had a sad look and stood there for a few hours.
Every day after that, he returned to that same spot at the time that he was supposed to meet Ran that day that everything had turned so horribly wrong. No one could get him to open up much anymore besides Takagi and Sato who had stayed with him during the aftermath of the accident. Takagi continued to bring Shinichi food every day knowing that if he did not, Shinichi would go until he collapsed. While Shinichi was never hungry anymore and could not taste what he did eat, he would eat whatever Takagi brought just to make him happy. Things stayed this way for the next two years.
It was on the third anniversary of Ran's death that something changed. Shinichi was now 22. He still did not have a true job. While he would help the police when they needed it, he would not take any pay. Well, he did not knowingly take any pay from them. While Shinichi had been healing from the aftermath of Ran's death, Takagi had worked with Megure-keibu to get a bank account set up that they would put money aside in for while Shinichi was healing to allow for any help needed for him. This account continued to be used as a place that they put the pay that would have gone to Shinichi if he had accepted it. When Shinichi desired it, they would give him access to the account, but for now, it was just sitting there accruing money.
Each and every day, Shinichi would go to the site of Ran's death, and each year on the anniversary of her death, he would attempt to make his way to her grave. He still could not make it to the grave no matter how hard he tried. The first year, Kogorou had noticed him and yelled at him to get away before he did something that he regretted. The second year, he had stopped right outside and broke down crying before he was found by Takagi and Sato who had been worried about him and went looking for him. This year, Takagi and Sato were not there. They were in the hospital welcoming new life into the world. Shinichi could not go to someone's grave when he knew that other people's lives were continuing and moving forward. Takagi and Sato had offered to name their kid after Ran if it was a girl, but Shinichi would not have it. He had said he would walk away and never look back if they did that. Instead, Shinichi stayed at the spot that Ran had died, too tired and depressed that he never noticed a silent figure watching him from the shadows.
Eventually, Shinichi gave up his vigil and went home. He knew that Ran would have gotten after him if he were out all day unless he was working on a case. Of course, Ran was not around anymore to get after him for things. Not that it mattered to him. To him, Ran was always around. She was everywhere that he was. He knew that this was illogical, but it was the only way that he could make it through every day. No matter what Takagi and Sato did for him it was only when he believed that Ran was around that he could make it through his days.
Seeing that Shinichi was leaving, the figure started to head off too. The figure silently followed Shinichi back home making sure he got back safely. They vowed to come back every day after that to make sure that Shinichi got home safely. For a couple of days, the person had spotted Shinichi standing there. They knew he was a famous detective, but had not heard anything about what had happened to him. The figure couldn't continue to stand around silently without attempting to help him for much longer. But first, the person must learn what had happened to have any hope of helping Shinichi.
The next few days, the figure silently watched Shinichi throughout the day. When they were not watching Shinichi at the spot, they would be on the computer in Shinichi's library attempting to look up anything about why Shinichi would be acting that way. What they found shocked them.
After a week, Shinichi was approached by a new person while standing at the spot that Ran had died at. When Shinichi actually processed what he was seeing, he had to check again. Why would this older gentleman be standing here? Older people never came to this part of town and everyone who lived here had already learned to leave him alone after the first few days of standing here. Shinichi just stood there looking back down and attempted to ignore the man. Unfortunately, that was not possible.
"Nice day isn't it? The sun is shining and there are hardly any clouds or wind in the sky," the man said noticing that Shinichi was not going to be the first one to speak.
Shinichi just ignored the person shrugging off any contact that the man attempted to make. He hoped that the person would leave soon, but apparently his curse was holding out. Eventually, Shinichi just wandered off not feeling up to standing there any longer even though he felt he should. The man was creeping him out.
The next day, Shinichi came back. This time the old man was not there. Instead, a younger girl with bleached hair, flared jeans, and a shirt with poorly translated English on it came up to him. What is it with people this week that they keep coming up to me? Shinichi thought resigned to another day like yesterday.
Just like he expected, the girl started speaking in her high pitched voice. "What are you doing here? I have seen you here for a while. Did something happen here? Do you want to talk about it?"
Shinichi shot an angry glare at the person. How dare someone try to bring up that topic! This was supposed to be a private space for him! These stupid people should not be able to be like this. All I want to do is have a private place where I can think about Ran!
"OK so you don't want to talk about it. I can respect that. Is there anything that you would like to talk about?"
Shinichi glared again. "Actually, yeah there is something I would like to say. Get. Out. Of. Here!"
"Are you waiting for someone? This is an awfully weird place to meet someone," the girl responded undeterred.
"If I say yes will you leave me alone?"
"No because I would know you are lying. As I said before, I have seen you standing here for a few days and no one ever comes up to you. You always stand here and then leave after a while. Now, do you want to talk about what happened here? I can wait for as long as needed for a response."
Shinichi just went back to thinking about Ran while standing there purposely ignoring the girl. The girl just stood there and never said another word. Silently offering comfort to the man next to her.
This went on for a few days. Each time, Shinichi would show up and shortly after the girl would come and ask if he wanted to talk about what had happened. Every day, Shinichi would respond in the negative. The girl would then stand next to him until he left. No names were exchanged during this time.
Then the process changed. Few words were exchanged still, but now the girl brought food with her each time they met. They would eat in silence every time. Shinichi would not talk about what had happened, and the girl would not bring up what had happened in her life unless Shinichi asked about it which was a rarity. Shinichi had only asked her a few questions during the whole time they would meet so far.
One was why she kept turning up even though they never spoke. The girl had responded, "Because you look like you need someone to be there with you even if they never speak. In fact, you need someone who will just sit there with you. You look like you would break and run if someone tried to speak with you the whole time you were here. I knew another person who was like that. They would act all tough just to protect everyone that was around them. I had never seen anyone so alone even though they had so many friends. It was only when they would play soccer or just be together without speaking that they looked so calm. Unfortunately, that person isn't around anymore. They disappeared a while back and I can't find any trace of them no matter how hard I look. I used to do everything to try and cheer that kid up. Now I want to cheer you up." Shinichi had a startled look but stopped questioning her that day.
Shinichi also asked why she had decided to bring food with her when she had started. Her eyes dimmed and then she said, "Do you remember that person I told you about? They were the type to not eat if they were worried, sad, or focused on anything else for any reason. Only if they were forced to eat would they take a break and eat something. You remind me so much of that person that I figured I should start bringing you food so you would eat something instead of wasting away." Shinichi had that look in his eyes again. He had thought that the person described the first time sounded like him as Conan, but now he felt it even stronger. Only problem is, he did not know this girl until a few months ago when she walked up to him at this spot. Shinichi left early that day.
One day as Shinichi was sitting there with the girl, Takagi and Sato came up to him. "Hey, Shinichi, we brought you something to eat. We were nearby getting stuff for the baby, and figured we would check up on you. We have tried your house a few times, but never gotten an answer." Shinichi cringed when he heard the word "baby," but listened to them otherwise, offering no excuse for not answering his door. He could not bear to have visitors at his house. Every time someone came over, he remembered Ran coming over and got too sad that he would rarely stay at his house. If someone did try to reach him at his house as Hattori had a few times when he first stayed at home, he would either wait until they gave up or escape out the back entrance. If KID had seen him make some of those escapes, he would have been proud.
Noticing that there was another person with Shinichi, they turned. Takagi just stared while Sato asked, "Oh we didn't know someone else was here. Who is this then?"
The girl stared at them not sure how to respond. She had thought she would be prepared for this but apparently she wasn't. There was no reason to be anxious about meeting police officers, but she did not enjoy meeting Takagi after what had happened on one of their previous meetings. Takagi just gave her a weird look. He felt that he had seen this girl before, but that couldn't be. He remembered most people he had ever met before. Something about this girl kept calling out to him making him believe he had met her before.
Shinichi answered for her snapping both the girl and Takagi out of their thoughts. "This girl has just been showing up for the past few months. She comes over, greets me, tries to get me to open up, and when I don't, she sits with me and brings food for us to eat while I sit here. "
"That is nice of her," Takagi responded. Then he noticed her apparent age. "Shouldn't you be in school though Miss? You look like you are still in high school."
"Oh, no, I just look young. I actually am 22. No more school for me."
"Oh, well do you have any job or anything? Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate you staying here with Shinichi all the time, but I am worried about you too."
"It is no problem staying here. I actually quite enjoy it. It is nice to have someone that I can feel comfortable around without having to talk about any of what is going on in my life at the moment. To answer your question though, I do not have any work at the moment. My family is rich enough for me to take some time attempting to figure out what I want to do with my life. My mom has actually told me to take my time and not to rush too hastily into any job. She is also letting me continue to live at home until I figure out what I want to do with my life."
"That is a nice mother you have there. I can't help but notice that you never mentioned your father though. Forgive me if this is too personal of a question, but is there a reason you did not mention him?"
The girl looked away for a second. Shinichi thought that he saw tears in her eyes and started to feel sad for her. Then the girl responded, "No, there is nothing wrong with your question. I did not mention my father because he died when I was young. When I was a kid, he was murdered. His killer was still loose until a few years ago."
"Sorry to hear that. I did not mean to bring up something so painful for you," Takagi responded. Even though the girl had mentioned that it was no problem, he could tell that he brought up something painful for her. Wanting to change the subject, Takagi asked if Shinichi would like to hold their kid. "Ayumu has been looking forward to meeting you. You haven't come around since he was born. We told him all about you and he always perks up when he hears your name. Would you like to hold him?"
Shinichi looked like someone had struck his face. It still was painful when people discussed children around him because it reminded him of what he had lost. Not only had he lost Ran, but he also lost the chance to have a family like he had always wanted. He may have gotten on fine without his parents there, but he realized while he was Conan that he wished he could have had a chance to have a family like that. He could not say no to Takagi though. Takagi was the reason that he still was around. Without him, he would never have remembered that Ran would not have wanted him to react this way to her death. "If you don't mind me holding him, I would love to. You will have to help me with holding him though. I don't want to drop him."
Takagi could see that Shinichi was forcing himself, but he still helped him. Soon, Shinichi was holding Ayumu. Soon after that, Shinichi was actually smiling. It was a sad smile, but it was one of the first smiles that any of them there had seen on him for a while. The girl hadn't even seen him smile at any point before that.
Having gotten off the topic of the girl's family and distracted Shinichi, Takagi decided to ask the girl one more question. After all, he could not keep calling her "you" or "the girl with Shinichi." "So, what is your name anyways? I didn't catch it before if you mentioned it."
The girl continued to stare at the child and Shinichi loving how they looked together until she realized that Takagi was speaking to her. "Oh, sorry, I never mentioned it before. My name is Isano. It is a pleasure to meet you. Might I add that your son is really adorable. He really seems to like Shinichi too."
"Nice to meet you too, Isano. Yeah, he does really like Shinichi, doesn't he?" Takagi watched them interact until Sato pointed to her wrist. "Oh! Sorry Isano and Shinichi, but we have to get going. Come over anytime if you want to play with Ayumu again. See you later. Have a nice rest of the day."
"Well, I better get going too," Shinichi said after Takagi and Sato had left.
Isano stared at him. She did not want to leave Shinichi yet. "Do you mind if I walk back to your house with you?"
Shinichi stared at her, but eventually consented. It wasn't like she was going to harm him.
They walked back to Shinichi's house in silence. Once there, they split off and went their separate ways. Shinichi noticing anew just how quiet the house was with no one in it and Isano just beating herself up mentally for all that she was doing. The plan had never been for her to get so attached to Shinichi like this. All she wanted was to cheer him up, and that is what she would continue to do.
Their pattern continued with a slight addition. Whenever Shinichi would head back to his house, Isano would follow along right behind him quietly. They never spoke while walking. Each just enjoyed the others company without admitting it. After two weeks of this, Shinichi eventually allowed for her to come into his house. The only changes to this routine would happen if Shinichi was called in to help with a case. This happened rarely especially after Takagi passed the word around the force that Isano was trying to help Shinichi through everything. Thinking it a miracle that Shinichi was even allowing anyone besides Takagi and Sato around him, they found others to help only calling him in if the case needed his special touch.
Isano started worrying about him whenever he would go off on these cases because she would notice that each time he would come back with new injuries. One time, she was even in his house when he got back even though he had asked her to leave before he did. He even made sure to lock the door, a habit he had picked up as Conan because of a certain thief that would sometimes sneak into his room and leave heist notices for him and a certain loud, nosy, Osakan detective that would come in to his room randomly and whisk him away to another case. He did not talk to her for a few days after that and did not even show up at the usual place until he had calmed down. Isano apologized profusely after that incident.
After 7 months of meeting with Isano, Shinichi started to have strange dreams again. He had them the first week after meeting her, but they had stopped until now.
"Come on Shin-chan! Let's climb the tree! It will be fun!" a young boy yelled back at the young Shinichi as they raced to a tree in the back of what Shinichi unconsciously processed as the other boy's yard.
Shinichi watched as the other boy climbed the tree and cringed when he noticed that the other boy had missed a step. He rushed over to try to catch him, but there was no need. The boy had pulled himself up using just his arms instead of stepping up after he had missed that branch. "Don't do that –kun! You freaked me out!"
Next, they were in front of a lake. They both were racing their handmade boats each attempting to do anything to make theirs reach the other side first. Shinichi was so focused on getting his boat across that he did not notice himself falling in until it was too late. He called out just as he went under. The other boy freaked out and dove into the lake. When he caught Shinichi, tons of fish were surrounding him. They looked like they were eating Shinichi! He forced them away and brought Shinichi up just as their parents were running towards the edge of the lake. The boy gave him CPR until he was breathing again. If the other boy hadn't jumped in like that, Shinichi might have died then. "Thanks – kun, for saving my son. He can be so reckless sometimes."
They were older now. Maybe 5 or 6 and they were playing in the back yard. Shinichi had a soccer ball and they were kicking it back and forth with Shinichi intermittently doing neat tricks with the ball that the other boy would applaud. Then the other boy would do different tricks with smaller balls that Shinichi would applaud. They kept getting closer and closer while passing the ball.
Now they were slightly older. Shinichi was trying to cheer up the other kid. Their father had just died and Shinichi couldn't even stay with him to cheer him up! His mother was dragging him away the next day because they had a play that "she couldn't miss because it would go against what her teacher, the boy's father, would have wanted." Shinichi spent every second that he could next to the other boy. He even got it so they hid for a while and his mother was freaking out. They never were found until after the play. His mother had left to act knowing that the other boy's mother would continue the search for them. In reality, she was glad that she hadn't found them. She knew they needed the time together to help the other boy heal the wounds left by his father's death. They stayed hidden for a week before they were caught sneaking out for food. Before Shinichi could be dragged off, he made a promise to the other boy. He would come back for him whenever possible and continue their friendship no matter what. Shinichi really had wanted more, but was not going to bring it up to the other with the shock of his father's death so recent.
Shinichi woke quickly. This was the second week of these dreams and he could not figure out why he continued to have them. They always brought a warm feeling whenever he had them though even the bittersweet ones that focused on the other boy's father's death. Who is that boy? Why does he seem so familiar? To get answers to his questions, Shinichi talked to the one person who might know besides the boy in question. He put in a call to his mother.
"Shinichi! I am so glad that you called. How are you doing? Have you been eating? Have Takagi and Sato been checking in on you like they said they would?" Yukiko interrogated her son.
"Mom, I am fine. Yes, I have been eating and yes they have been checking on me. I actually got to see their kid recently and held him. That is not why I am calling you though. Please don't question why I am asking you this just answer me truthfully. Do you remember who the kid was that I used to play with? He would have looked like me." If Yukiko could have seen him, she would have noticed just how serious he was about this. Shinichi didn't even know why he needed to know who the boy was he just knew that he needed to know.
"Sure honey, I remember him. Kaito, Kuroba Kaito. His father taught me my disguise techniques. Do you want to try and get in touch with him? I still talk to the boy's mother off and on. I am sure they would love to have you over." Yukiko was so proud that her son was even asking about other people. She thought she had lost him when Ran had died and she was eternally grateful to Takagi and Sato for helping him get through that. She made a note to buy some items for the baby and have them sent over to them.
"I don't know if it would be alright to meet them especially from what I remember. I know we were close, but it seems as if we left on a weird note." Shinichi was hesitant to attempt to talk with others. He still could not handle being with people unless he was focusing on a case. It was surprising that he was even able to get along as well with Isano. Just as her name implied, she really was helping him whether she knew it or not. Maybe he could handle meeting them if Isano was there.
"Oh don't worry about that. I know that Chikage would love to have you over. She has missed you. I am sure Kaito has missed you too even though I haven't heard anything from him, but you two were so close as kids that he has to remember you. I will send you the address and tell Chikage that you are planning to meet them as soon as you can. That way you can't back out of it. You need to have more than just Takagi and Sato to lean on. I know things aren't good with Kogorou and Eri, but I am sure things will get better. Chin up. I will talk to you later. Never hesitate to call if you need something."
"Thanks mom, I will keep that in mind although I am still not sure if I will meet with Chikage and Kaito." Shinichi did not protest that his mother was planning on making sure that he met with them. He knew that there was no arguing with her when she set her mind on something just as she knew that there was no changing his mind if he truly set his mind to something.
They got off the phone and true to Yukiko's word the address was already waiting in Shinichi's email as soon as he checked. Maybe he should try to open up to others. If anything, they would be able to help him get through this grief that he had from HER death. Shinichi went back to bed feeling just a little better that he might have a kindred spirit he could talk with even if it was a girlfriend instead of husband/father that he lost compared to them.
The next day, he met with Isano again. "Hey, Isano, would you be willing to go with me to meet some family friends of mine? I think they could help me, but I cannot go on my own. It is still too much for me to talk to people that I haven't talked to since… Well, for a few years." Shinichi still had not told Isano what had happened and why he kept coming to this spot every day at the same time.
"Sure, who do you want to meet and when would we go?" Isano tactfully did not push the subject of what Shinichi had been about to say about what had happened at this spot.
"We would go and visit the Kuroba family. I haven't set a date to meet up yet because I wanted to make sure you could go with before I tried to contact them. I am thinking next weekend though."
Isano paled. Thankfully, Shinichi did not notice it as he was too focused on attempting to get it so he could talk to new people. "I am sorry, but I actually can't go. I am busy for a while because I just got a new job and start tomorrow. I work on the weekends too, so I won't be able to make it on the weekend," Isano quickly explained hoping that she did not hurt Shinichi's feelings too bad. There was no way that she could visit that family though. It just was not possible.
Shinichi looked really hurt. "Oh, ok, I get it. Work is important. I know I have left multiple times when we have been together. Really, I get it and am fine with it."
Isano could tell that he really wasn't fine with her skipping out on him like that, but there really was no choice. There was no way that she could join with him when he went to meet the Kuroba family. The rest of their time was spent in awkward silence until Shinichi decided that he could not stand it anymore. This time, they did not go back to Shinichi's house together.
The next day, Shinichi went back to the same place hoping to meet Isano and apologize for how he acted the other day. Unfortunately, she was not there. He hoped he could have met her before she went off to work, but apparently she either was already at work or didn't want to meet him before heading off to work like he hoped that she would have. For the first time since the beginning when Shinichi had met Isano, Shinichi was truly depressed at her absence. Isano just watched from the shadows not daring to step out for fear that she would change her mind and say she could go with Shinichi even though she knew that it would not be possible. Isano kept her silent vigil on Shinichi and followed him home when he finally had the strength to head home.
Shinichi kept acting depressed ever since he stopped meeting with Isano. He knew it was stupid, but he could not get over it. All he wanted was to be able to see her, but they had never exchanged contact information during their time together. He didn't even know where she lived. He tried to get over her, but it was as if another piece of him had died. Never in all his life, had he expected to get attached to another person like this. Not until she had disappeared did Shinichi realize just how much he had valued and treasured Isano.
Ever since Isano had started her work, Shinichi started helping with more and more cases. When others questioned him on why he was not with Isano, he would not respond. All he did was work on the different cases that were available. While he did still go to the same spot, it was not for the same reasons as before. Now he went there in the hopes that Isano would come greet him again instead of being there because of his guilt at what had happened to Ran.
Shinichi was now on his way to the Kuroba household. He was supposed to go with Takagi and Sato, but Ayumu got sick the other day and they were not able to make it. He wanted to head back, but it was poor manners to not show up to a planned meeting especially for no reason. So here he was standing outside the house not having the strength to ring the doorbell. Apparently, there was no need to ring the doorbell. Just as he was about to turn away ignoring any sense of what constituted as good manners, the door swung open and a woman whom Shinichi quickly identified as Chikage stepped out and hugged him.
"Come on in you poor dear. You must be hungry. I have some curry on the stove and it will be ready shortly. Let's go in to the living room and see Kaito. He has been looking forward to meeting you again ever since I told him you were coming." Chikage led the startled Shinichi down the hall and up the stairs in to the living room where Kaito was waiting for them.
As soon as Shinichi walked into the room, he felt as if he had seen the man before him more recently than his memory said he had. Kaito reminded him so much of someone he had met recently. In fact, he gave off the same type of vibe that Isano does. Instead of saying anything, Shinichi just nodded in greeting. Kaito just silently nodded back starring at Shinichi as if he had just grown two heads. Shinichi squirmed under the look he was getting.
Chikage paid no attention to any of this. She left the room after telling Shinichi to sit down, so she could check on how the curry was doing. The two boys sat in silence. Shinichi wished he had never set up this meeting now.
Kaito just stared at Shinichi. Why had Shinichi come here? Wasn't Shinichi was not good at dealing with people at the moment?
Luckily, they were both called to the dining room before long, so they did not have to wait in an awkward silence.
"So, Shin-chan, how have you been lately? Your mom would not talk about what had happened to you or why you wanted to see us. She just thought that it would be beneficial for us to meet," Chikage stated when she noticed that Shinichi was not going to talk beyond the greeting he gave when he first came or thanking for the food.
Shinichi stopped eating and felt like he should bolt for the door and get away from here as quickly as possible. Knowing that his mother would get after him if he left, he gave in. He couldn't live without talking about it any longer. Takagi and Sato were great but they could never really get what he was going through. Hopefully, Chikage and Kaito would. Shinichi took a deep breath and started saying all that was going on including Isano which had Kaito immediately react and Chikage look at her son when she heard a description of the girl and what she had been doing for Shinichi.
"Oh dear, I am so sorry for you. If I had known, I would have contacted you before. I can understand how hard it is to lose someone you love so much even though I lost my husband under different circumstances. If you need anyone to talk to at any point in time even if it is 3am, we are here for you. Same if you need any place to stay. Unfortunately, all I can tell you is that time might heal your wounds. You need someone there for you while you are healing. If I had not had Kaito to look after, I never would have been able to go back to normal life so quickly." Chikage looked like someone had punched her in the gut.
Kaito just sat there looking depressed. There was nothing he could offer Shinichi besides a shoulder to cry on whenever needed. He would have to try harder with that. "Why don't you stay over tonight? It is already later in the day and while you still would have time to catch a ride back to your house, this will provide you to be able to have someone to comfort you for now. You and I can share a room."
"Shin-chan! Let's play a game! I'm bored. Why do you have to sit there reading those stuffy books? Let's do something together!" Kaito whined from the top of the fortress he had made surrounding Shinichi as if he had captured him and he was a prisoner.
Shinichi stared up at Kaito not even caring that he was "trapped." "Kai-kun, they are not stuffy. Sherlock Holmes is the greatest detective ever. The way that he is able to disguise himself and get information along with how he calmly solves all of his cases, not to mention his trusty partner and being able to hold his own against all of the criminals, make him so great!" Shinichi started rambling on.
Shinichi shook his head after remembering that. He really had started young with his love of Sherlock Holmes.
"Oh what a lovely idea! I will go and get the extra futon for you, Shin-chan. Kaito can show you to the room later." Chikage was already up and out the door before Shinichi could offer any protest.
"Do you want a tour of the house?" Kaito asked after they had been sitting there for a while in silence.
Shinichi stood up and waited for Kaito to lead the way. The tour was fairly silent. Beyond Kaito telling Shinichi what the rooms were, there was basically no talking. Halfway through the tour, they were joined by Chikage who just silently followed along. After the grand tour, they headed back to the kitchen for dessert. It was a lovely dessert of glazed pineapple slices.
"Alright boys, off to bed. You can just borrow one of Kaito's pajamas and an extra outfit in the morning while I do your laundry and I don't want any complaining about it being a bother to me. I won't have any guest of my house, especially one so close to the family, go out in dirty cloths," Chikage stated when it was nearing 11 at night.
Kaito went ahead of Shinichi and quickly pulled him out an extra pair of sleepwear letting him change first. While Kaito was getting ready for bed, Shinichi thought about the day he had had. There was barely any talking happening, but he already was feeling better just having someone who truly got what he was going through. Sure Takagi and Sato were great and had helped him through everything, but they could only do so much without having experienced something like he was going through and there was no way he wished for them to experience this grief.
When Kaito walked back into the room, he found Shinichi already deep asleep on the futon. It took a while for Kaito to follow him because he was focused on watching Shinichi through the night. Eventually, he gave in to sleep with the last thing he saw being Shinichi's calm face. His nice day was not to last.
Kaito woke with a start. He thought he had heard something. Looking over, he saw Shinichi looking as if he had fallen over the futon as he stumbled away from something. Kaito's tired mind attempted to figure out what was ahead of Shinichi that could have shocked him like that. Then he remembered the closet. Kaito sat bolt upright and looked from Shinichi towards the closet where a certain set of clothes was seen sprawled on the floor where Shinichi had dropped it. How could I be so stupid! Of course Shinichi would find that especially with how late I went to bed.
Shinichi finally got over the shock of what was laying in front of him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. Your mom told me to take something from your closet. She said it was alright. I didn't mean to wake you." With that, Shinichi grabbed his clothes that he had set aside the night before, changed into them, and left leaving Kaito sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
Kaito glared at the offending piece of clothing and the wig that lay next to it. Never before in his life had he hated any of his disguises as much as he did at this moment. On the floor in front of the closet lay the same outfit that he had worn the majority of the time that he had met Shinichi in the guise of Isano. Kaito really wished that there was a hole he could crawl into and bury himself in.
"Kaito, honey, what happened to Shinichi? He ran out of the house looking as if it were on fire. You didn't try something on him did you? I thought I told you to put away all of your magic tricks before he came over." Chikage stopped once she noticed what was lying on the floor. "Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. I didn't know you had that in the closet. You have always hidden your outfits very carefully that I thought there would be no problem. I would go after him, but I think it would be better if you explained your reasoning for dressing like that to talk to him. You get dressed and I will make you and Shinichi sandwiches for lunch."
Kaito did not argue. He needed to fix this. There was no way that he could leave Shinichi like that especially with how he thought of him.
Kaito got ready for the day faster than he ever had before. If anyone else had seen him, they would have wondered who was chasing him not knowing that he was getting ready so quickly that he could chase after the one person that mattered to him.
Kaito ran around everywhere hoping to find Shinichi. He checked his house, his school, the police office, the parks, and anywhere else he could think of. No matter where he checked, Shinichi was not to be found. It wasn't until he started gliding around the town that he found him. Shinichi was up on the top of the clock tower. Kaito landed and hoped that he could get Shinichi to listen to him.
As soon as Kaito landed, Shinichi turned around. He was startled, but made no hint of movement besides the initial step backwards. Kaito noticed that Shinichi had looked at his hang glider but this was not the time to be worried about his secret identity. He deserved to be locked up if he could not fix the rift that was created between them because of his stupidity.
"Shinichi, please believe me. I never meant to hurt you. Before talking with you for a while as Isano, I had no idea what had happened to cause you such grief. All I wanted to do was help you. You remind me so much of the kid that I told you about before when I was dressed as Isano. Even though I was dressed as someone else, all that I said and did were my own actions. There was no acting in anything that I did there." Kaito hoped that Shinichi was really listening to him. Sure Shinichi had turned around when he had landed, but he was not showing any reaction to what he was saying at all.
"Shinichi, please say something. I know you are mad at me, but at least yell at me or do something. Don't just look at me like that. You are acting as if she had died again." This earned a response from Shinichi, but not the type of response that Kaito was truly hoping for.
"Don't you dare mention her! You have no right to mention her to me. Why should I listen to you anyways? You lied to me Kaito! Or should I call you Isano? Some help you were." Shinichi burst out. After saying all of that, he turned around and looked over the edge of the tower. It almost looked as if he were contemplating jumping from there. Kaito could not believe just how much his actions had injured this special person.
"I never meant to hurt you. Please believe me Shinichi." Kaito pleaded. There had to be some way to reason with him. "I didn't think you would react well if I showed up as my true self. I know I would hate to see a twin of myself randomly show up next to me and start talking to me while I am trying to heal."
"But you did have a twin show up next to you when you were healing. I was next to you for a week when your father died. Don't you remember any of that?" Shinichi looked back at Kaito.
"No, unfortunately, I do not remember any of that. I had forgotten that I even knew you until you asked me if I would be able to come with you to my house when I was Isano. Please don't shut me out Shinichi. I truly want to help you."
"Why would you want to help me if you didn't even know me? It isn't like I am anyone special."
"Never, EVER, say you are not special. Everyone is special, especially you."
"Why do you think I am so special? You even dressed up as someone else to be able to be near me."
Kaito looked like someone just killed a puppy in front of him. "Do I really have to answer that? Please don't make me answer that. You might not like the answer."
Shinichi glared at him in response.
Kaito whispered his reasoning so quietly Shinichi could not hear him. "Louder Kaito or I am out of here and will make sure to hide myself so even you, the great thief, can't find me ever again."
Kaito took a deep breath to give himself the strength to answer the question. "IthinkyouarespecialbecauseIloveyou." Kaito said in one breath.
"What was that?"
"I said that I find you special because I love you." Kaito looked away from Shinichi not daring to see how he reacted before he spoke again. "It didn't start out that way. You remind me so much of the little kid that used to come to my heists, and when he disappeared, I looked all over to find him. Then I noticed you looking so sad while standing at that spot and could not help but watch you. The more I watched you, the more I wanted to talk to you and see what hurt you so and if I could help you. I originally approached you as an old man thinking that would seem the least weird, but you just brushed me off. I then created the identity of Isano. All I wanted was to help you. It was nice at first, and then I started noticing that I did not think of you as just a friend. That was why I broke into your house that one time. By then, I had realized that I loved you, but it was clear that you did not think that way about me by that time. You have no idea how much I wanted to reveal myself when you mentioned that you were thinking of coming to my house, but I did not want to scare you away. Instead, I just hid. I never meant to hurt you like that. I was planning on telling you the truth someday, but it still felt too soon." Having finished explaining, he finally looked back at Shinichi.
Shinichi just stood there staring at Kaito. He had no idea how to respond to all of that information. Kaito thinks of me that way? What is so special about me that he could ever love? I am just a sad, broken mess.
Kaito saw how Shinichi was staring at him and looked away hurt. Before Shinichi could react, Kaito pulled himself together. Even if Shinichi did not return his feelings, he still needed someone to help him. Shinichi was already hurt enough. No point in increasing his pain by walking away.
Shinichi noticed how hurt Kaito was when he did not respond. How could he respond to a statement like that? If this were Isano, he could have responded in some way. Then Shinichi thought about how stupid he was. Kaito WAS Isano. Just because Isano turned out to be a guy did not matter. Shinichi had fallen for the mind that was behind the girl, not the fact that it was a girl that was helping him.
"Why would you think of me in that way? I am just a sad, broken mess." Shinichi asked before Kaito could change the subject.
"Please, can we just drop this? I won't bring it up ever again. I know you don't think of me in that way anyways." Kaito really wished that Shinichi would just drop the subject.
"No, we are talking about it now, here. Otherwise I will never meet you ever again."
Kaito turned back to face Shinichi. "Why do you want to talk about this so much? You don't think of me in that way, so what point is there?"
"Just answer the question: why would you think of me in that way?" Shinichi stared at Kaito waiting for an answer before he would give his response to Kaito.
Kaito sighed before he gave in. "I think of you in such a way because of your mind. You have such a strong sense of justice and place all of the blame on yourself even when you have done nothing wrong. You can never harm anyone unless you are pushed to while helping others. Your love of Sherlock Holmes is amazing too even with you always going on about it. You just can't leave anyone alone when they need help even if it harms you. Not to mention how you look. Your eyes are so bright even when they look as if they have lost all hope. Everything about you is amazing and I haven't even been around you when you are full of life." Kaito looked away again before sighing. "I understand if you never want anything to do with me. I will leave now." He turned away as if to leave Shinichi not daring to hope for the words that he heard next.
"Please don't leave. I love you too," Shinichi shouted to Kaito before he could leave through the door.
"What did you say?" Kaito turned around and stared into Shinichi's eyes.
Taking a deep breath, Shinichi replied, "I said I love you too. I didn't respond when you first stated that you loved me because I was not thinking of you as Isano, but then I realized that it was the mind that I had fallen in love with and not Isano. You were so kind to stay with me and even disguise yourself in order to help me through such a hard time. I still love Ran and miss her and probably always will, but I love you so much too. If you are willing to put up with me, I am willing to try going out with you as much as the idea of dating hurts me. Before you think it is anything to do with you it is not. It is just that I am cursed and everyone that I love or care about ends up leaving me in a horrible way." Shinichi was raising his hands defensively at this point.
Kaito laughed at Shinichi causing Shinichi to pout at him. He could not believe his luck. The one that he loved loves him back? This was too good to be true! "Shinichi, everyone leaves at some point, but that is no reason not to take advantage of the time that you are given. I realize that you will always love Ran and that does not bother me just so long as you make some room for me in there. I also hope that you realize that I will not be giving you up to anyone if we do go out. I am a very possessive person." Kaito grinned at Shinichi.
Shinichi started backing away from Kaito at the look he was getting. Maybe he had made a mistake in saying he would try going out with Kaito. He kept thinking that until Kaito cornered him and gave him a quick kiss that had Shinichi responding fairly quickly to.
"I think I can deal with that. Might I ask one thing though? Why were you so calm when you were with me as Isano? I know you are a very active person and yet Isano almost never pulled any magic tricks or pranks and overall was fairly quiet which is different from the normal you." Shinichi gave Kaito a puzzled look tilting his head waiting for an answer.
"You needed someone to just be there for you and not some noisy distraction. Anyone going through grief like that needs comfort and not noise. Contrary to popular belief, I can actually be civilized when needed. I just usually choose not to because what is life without a bit of magic? I hope you can put up with my energy level." He was starting to get worried again still not fully believing that Shinichi was willing to go out with him.
"No need to be so worried. I would not have said that I love you if I did not mean it. Nothing could turn me away from you even the fact that you are Kaitou KID. I am more worried about you deciding that you would leave me because of the secrets that I still have."
"Don't say that. Your secrets can't be that bad," Kaito interjected before Shinichi could continue.
Shinichi stared at him sadly, not willing to believe what Kaito said. "You know that kid you were talking about as Isano? If I am correct, that kid is named Edogawa Conan right?"
Seeing that Shinichi was waiting for a response, Kaito nodded.
Shinichi steeled himself for what was to come next. "I am Edogawa Conan. I was shrunk by the Black Organization and came back after helping to take them down."
"That is supposed to push me away? Have you forgotten who you are talking to? So you were a little kid for a while, big deal. At least that doesn't have the chance of you getting arrested. Besides, Conan is the one who got the person who murdered my father arrested. Now are you done trying to find excuses to push me away because you are already regretting telling me you love me or are you going to continue to sit there and find reasons to hate yourself? Usually when two people confess things are happier than they are right now." Kaito grinned back at Shinichi.
"You are right. I just did not want you to have to find out like Ran did… She thought of Conan as a betrayal."
"Well I am not Ran. Now, are you hungry? I know you rushed out fairly quickly. My mom made us some sandwiches. Nothing fancy, but it is some food."
As Kaito opened the bag that the sandwiches were put in, he winced. His mom had put in sandwiches in the shape of hearts as if she were expecting this to happen. Shinichi just laughed when he noticed the sandwiches. How was it that others were so easily able to see how he felt when he could almost never see his feelings or any feelings directed to him until they were stated directly to him? Shinichi and Kaito sat down and started eating while looking over the square below them enjoying the sights.