THE WIZARD OF OZ: RUROUNI KENSHIN STYLE!~
Disclaimer: I don't own RK nor the Wizard of Oz
~
Dorothy: Kaoru (with pigtails)
Toto: Kenshin (wears a leash)
Scarecrow #1: Aki (wears her own kasa and has straw in her hair)
Scarecrow #2: Misao (wears random kasa and has corn husks in her hair)
Tinman #1: Suzuka (wears English knight's helmet)
Tinman #2: Aoshi (see Suzuka)
Cowardly lion #1: Sano (wears random Mardi Gras mask)
Cowardly lion #2: Saito (wears cheesy Albertson's mask)
Munchkins etc.: Yahiko, Tsubame, Ayame, Suzume (whatever their characters usually wear)
Glenda: Tae (wears a pink kimono instead of Akobeko uniform)
Wicked witch: Megumi (has broom wears pointed witch hat)
Wizard of Oz: Dr. Gensai (wears stupid blue wizard hat with stars on it)
~
~*~((:You know the first part of the story, family crisis, cousins, Auntie- Em, there's a tornado, blah, blah, blah, now we're in Munchkin Land, you know the setting.:))~*~
~
(Kaoru and Kenshin walk out of the Kamiya dojo to see Munchkin land. Kaoru is happily holding Kenshin's leash)
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore...
Kenshin: That we aren't, Kaoru-Dono. I mean, woof, that I do!
Kaoru: where do you think we are, Kenshin-inu?
Tae: (floats in) Why, you're in Munchkin Land.
Kaoru: I don't see any munchkins, Tae-San....
Tae: I'm getting there, Kaoru-San. Ahem, your dojo landed on the Wicked witch of the East (motions to hair and ribbon sticking out from under the dojo) her sister, Megumi-
Kaoru: Megumi-San?!
Tae: just go with it, Kaoru-San. The wicked witch of the west is looking for that indigo ribbon, there, and will do anything to get it. You must not let her have it. You must take it to Oz to the wizard he can help you get home.
Kaoru: that makes no sense. How do we get to Oz??
Tae: I'll let the munchkins explain. (floats away)
Kaoru: (picks up indigo ribbon) (gets evil smirk) here, Kenshin (ties ribbon in ponytail) you can guard it
Kenshin: Oro....um. ruff.
(Yahiko, Tsubame, Ayame, and Suzume run out into the open)
Tsubame and Ayame: we welcome you to Munchkin Land...
Suzume: yeah, Munchkin Land!
Yahiko: okay, let's cut to the point, follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, fa, la, la, la, la, follow the yellow brick road. You get the point. Now go.
Ayame and Suzume: bye, Uncle Kenny!!
(Kaoru and Kenshin wave as they follow the yellow brick road)
(Kaoru and her "dog" come to a fork in the road where two scarecrows are hanging in a cornfield)
Kaoru: I hate this place....so many-
Scarecrows: (get off posts and rush into cornfield) GET AWAY FROM HERE YOU STUPID BIRDS!! (crows fly off) (scarecrows come back to posts and put away weapons and go back to being just plain scarecrows)
Kenshin: don't they look familiar, Kaoru-Dono?
Kaoru: (looks at scarecrows closer) I don't know...which way should we go?
Scarecrow #1: that way (points to the left)
Scarecrow #2: that way (points to the right)
Both: (notice they're pointing in different directions) or maybe that way (S#1 points up, S#2 points down) who knows?
Kaoru: it's Aki-Chan and Misao-Chan! Why are they acting like scarecrows?
Aki: (shrugs) the authors made us do it
Misao: if I ever get my hands on them I'll.....
Aki: Misao-Chan, that's not the situation at hand, now
Misao: oh, right, what was your question, Kaoru?
Kaoru: which way should we go?
Aki: heck, I don't know (jumps from post to join Kaoru and Kenshin-inu)
Misao: we figured maybe some random people would figure it out and we'd follow (also jumps down to join Kaoru and Kenshin-inu)
Aki: where are you planning on going?
Kaoru: we're going to see the wizard of Oz
Misao: us too, the stupid crows stole our shoes
Aki: yup...being a barefoot scarecrow is kind of hard. Especially in Japan.
Kenshin: you have a thing for following, don't you Misao?
Misao: THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BIG JERK!! (kicks Kenshin in the face)
Kenshin: oro....it was a joke...
Aki: (sarcastically) Kenshin, that ribbon really goes with your eyes.
Kaoru: doesn't it though? ^_^
Aki: well, I would suggest us splitting up to find out where to go, but that would put us back at square one. So, let's just pick a random direction and go to the right.
Misao: yeah, I'm right-handed, why not?
Kaoru: sounds good to me (shrugs)
(later down the road)
Kenshin: I like being a dog, that I do ^_^
Random cat that shows up every now and then: (pops out of Kaoru's basket) (hisses) (hackles go up)
Kaoru: now, now, neko, no attacking Kenshin
Kenshin: so maybe I don't like being a dog that much...
Misao: what do you think the wizard is like?
Aki: As long as I get my shoes back, I really don't care.
Kaoru: I'm getting hungry... (reaches up to get an apple)
Aki: no, Kaoru-San, not those apples.
Misao: let's keep walking until we find another apple orchard.
Kaoru: what's wrong with these apples? (points)
Apple tree: yeah, what's wrong with these apples?
Kaoru: forget I said anything ^_^;;;;;;;
Apple tree: why don't you want my apples?
Kaoru: I'd love some of your apples
Apple tree: oh, so you want a piece o' me, do you?
Aki: K-Kaoru-San, we'd better be going....
Misao: yeah, I'm sure there are other apples on other trees....
(Aki and Misao each grab one of Kaoru's arms and bolt into the bushes. Kenshin is still on a leash, so of course he has to follow)
Kenshin: Ittai...
Kaoru: what was that all about?
Aki: long story...
Misao: VERY long
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, get up! (yanks leash)
Kenshin: oro....!
Kaoru: oh, look, tin...men?
(in the middle of a clearing two tinmen are randomly standing around)
Tinman #1: oil...
Kenshin: what?
Tinman #2: can...
Kenshin: Nani?
Tinman #1: (lifts mask) oil can!!
Tinman #2: (lifts mask) we need an oil can!!
Kenshin: oh, hello, Itoko-Chan and Aoshi ^_^
Kaoru: Suzuka and Aoshi, how are you?
Suzuka: rusty, according to the script.
Aoshi: where are you headed?
Kaoru: we're off to see the wizard...! Yeah, to see the wizard of Oz.
Aki: what do you want from the wizard other than an oil can?
Suzuka and Aoshi: helmet polish, of course.
Aki: helmet polish?
Misao: At least we want something useful
Aki: (nods)
Aoshi: well, if you think that's so useless, then what do you want from the wizard?
Misao: brains. I mean, shoes!
Aki: it's okay, Misao-Chan (pats on head)
Suzuka: what do you want from the wizard, Kenny?
Kenshin: you mean other than a bone? Uh...I think I'm going dog. Kaoru: Kenshin-inu and I want to go back home to Tokyo
Megumi: (pops in) (cackles) hello, Ken-Sama...and Raccoon girl....and everyone else. Hi, Suzuka-Chan! :D Ahem, Kaoru, give me Ken-Sama's ribbon!
Kaoru: no! It goes with his eyes! Doesn't it, Aki?
Aki: heh, heh...right...
Megumi: Well, anyway, all you need to know right now is: I'LL GET YOU, MY LITTLE RACCOON!! And that adorable little dog, too! (pops out)
Kaoru: and apparently, that's our antagonist.
Aki: (sarcastically) how intimidating.
Kaoru: where do we go from here?
Aki: I don't know, those stupid apple trees threw us off course!
~Eventually, our heroes get back on track and decide to sing a little song....for some reason~
Aki: I REFUSE TO SING THAT SONG!!
All else: lions, and tigers, and bears oh, my!
Aki: THERE IS NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH THAT I'M SINGING THAT SONG!!
All else: lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!
Kenshin: (trips on rock) lions, and tigers, and bears, that they are. Oro...
Suzuka: Come on, Aki, we're trying to keep in unison, here.
Aki: I AIN'T SINGIN' THE SONG!!
Cowardly lion #1: we know you're not singing the song.
Cowardly lion #2: some of us have eardrums, banshee.
Cowardly lion #1: no, it's battleaxe.
Aki: my name is Aki, not banshee, not battleaxe, speaking of stupid nicknames, what are you doing here, baka?
Sano: (jumps out) hey, Kenshin, how' it going, buddy?
Cowardly lion #2: (walks up next to Sano) don't play with your food.
Kenshin: hello, Saito
Saito: what are you doing here, Himura?
Kaoru: Kenshin, dogs don't talk. We're going to see the wizard!
Aki: no more singing....
Kaoru: don't worry, Aki-Chan, no more singing...for a while.
Aki: (strange look)
Saito: okay, let's get the stupid questioning over in one question, what do you all want from the wizard?
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu and I want to go back home to Tokyo.
Aki and Misao: foot ware.
Suzuka and Aoshi: helmet polish.
Sano: Saito here wants psychological help. I want some saké.
Saito: you can't even SPELL psychological.
Sano: that's why you're getting the help and not me. Who goes around wearing one of those ridiculous masks anyway?
Saito: you should talk
Sano: hey, my mask is feathery, not pseudo-plastic.
Saito: you can't even spell pseudo.
Aki: hey, only I get to pick on the baka!
Saito: oh? And what gives you the right?
Aki: (throws chained scythe that barely misses Saito's face and hits a tree) that could have been your nose...as big as a target it is...
Saito: okay ^_^
Kenshin: uh-oh, he's doing the ^_^ thing again.
Saito: I don't need any of you, anyway ^_^ I can find the wizard myself ^_^ who needs garden tools, protective headgear and, a guy wearing a mask, anyway? ^_^;;;;
Misao: what is he babbling about?
Aki: (shrugs) I don't speak that language. Did he just call me a garden tool?
Kaoru: we really should get going...Saito, are you through with your fit?
Saito: wait, I have one more. ^_^ Okay, I'm done.
~Everyone, without killing each other come to a dark forest~
~ back at Megumi's fortress~
Megumi: FLY, FLY, MY PRETTIES, FLY!!!
Tsubame: I don't like flying...
Ayame: I'm a monkey!:)
Suzume: Yeah! A monkey!:)
Yahiko: is this really necessary?
Suzume: yeah! N-ne-necessary!:)
Tsubame: Yahiko-Chan, I'm afraid of heights!! (clings)
Suzume: yeah! Afraid of heights!:)
Yahiko: where are we headed to, Megumi?
Suzume: yeah! Headed to!:)
Megumi: bring me the raccoon and the dog, kill the others
Suzume: yeah! Bring her a puppy!:)
Yahiko: Kenshin and Kaoru preach against killing.
Megumi: uh...knock 'em out!
Yahiko: whatever, fox girl.
Suzume: Yeah! Fox girl!
Yahiko: would you stop repeating everything anyone says?
Suzume: but it's fun!:)
Yahiko: (to Megumi) doesn't that come later in the story, though?
Megumi: fine, you can take a break, you slacker! I'll just make Kaoru and Ken-Sama be knocked unconscious by a random field of poppies right before they get to Oz.
Yahiko: Megumi?
Megumi: yes?
Yahiko: you know the hat doesn't go with anything you're wearing, right?
Megumi: (pounds Yahiko over the head) what was that?
Yahiko: ugh...
Megumi: I thought so.
~Back in the dark woods~
Aki: you and your shortcuts (hits Sano over head)
Sano: I thought I came here before. I told you I wasn't sure. That hurt, too.(rubs head)
Aki: we're not trying to go to Megumi's castle, we're trying to get to Oz.
Saito: moron, he probably thought he smelled saké.
Sano: I DID NOT, I JUST LIKE FORESTS ALRIGHT?!
Saito: whatever, we've got to get to Kyoto, I mean Oz.
Kaoru: Oz is the Emerald City, right?
Misao: yup.
Kaoru: well then, why not follow the glowing green light over there?
Kenshin: now that you mention it, there is a rather conveniently placed light over there, that there is.
Suzuka: I guess we should follow it then.
All else: (shrug) okay
Kaoru: (gasps) poppies! :D (yawns) (falls asleep)
Kenshin: I'm getting tired too, that I am (falls asleep)
Sano: (falls over asleep)
Aki: Sano, look, it's narrow eyes! (points to Saito)
Sano: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Aki: let's try that again. Sano, narrow eyes says he can out-drink you!!
Sano: (pops up) we've got to find that saké, I'll show him!!
Aki: thought that might work, after losing to me of all people on a drinking contest!
Sano: I forgot about that. now I'm even more determined! Gr......
Aki: calm down, Sasquatch. You'll hurt yourself.
Misao: why aren't we falling asleep?
Aki: well, Saito's an insomniac
Saito: coffee...
Aki: we're supposed to be scarecrows ergo, we're not human
Suzuka: and we're supposed to be tinmen. Sleep can't stop the power of metal apparently
Sano: (shrugs) (throws a sleeping Kenshin over his shoulder) everyone else ready?
Aki: (throws a sleeping Kaoru over her shoulder) they should be now.
~back at Megumi's~
Megumi: dang it! They got past the poppies! The lions should have been out too! Why didn't they fall asleep?! YAHIKO, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!
Yahiko: sure, right, whatever.
Megumi: if you hadn't gotten me irked over correcting my timing in this story, I wouldn't have set up something this stupid!! Poppies!
Yahiko: it was your idea you know
Megumi: (hits him over head) what was that?
Yahiko: would you stop that?!
~the gates of Oz~
Kaoru (AN: yay, she's awake!:)): what do we do now?
Aoshi: common sense would say knock, but we don't exactly seem to have a plague of common sense among us, do we?
Aki: hey, be nice to Kaoru-San!
Saito: you like starting arguments, don't you?
Aki: you both must like pain, don't you?
Kaoru: um...right, back to the knocking.
Kenshin: (knocks on closed window)
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, dogs can't knock.
Kenshin: sorry, Kaoru-Dono, you can knock.
Kaoru: thank you Kenshin (knocks on closed window)
Tsubame: (comes to window) hai?
Kaoru: we're here to see the wizard
Tsubame: okay...just a minute, please (closes window)
~Ayame and Suzume open the doors~ (AN: the doors are Styrofoam;))
Yahiko: Welcome to Oz. I hate this job.
Kenshin: bark, ruff, woof. How do you think I feel? :)
Aki: we don't have to ride on one of those stupid carriages with the tie- dye horses, do we?
Misao: I hope not. They kind of scare me.
Tsubame: no, you don't have to. In fact, we could get you some fresh straw and corn husks for your hair before you see the wizard (ushers the scarecrows through double doors)
Ayame: (holds Suzuka's hand in one hand and Aoshi's in the other) and we could freshen you two up for the wizard too (ushers them to the same doors)
Suzume: Yeah!:) freshen you up for the wizard!:) (takes Sano and Saito through the doors)
Yahiko: you saw which doors they went through (walks off)
~thru the double doors, the Oniwabanshu are taking care of everyone~
lady from the Oniwabanshu # 1 (AN: sorry, I don't know their names) : Leader, maybe you and your friend would like a haircut?
LFO # 2: oh, yes, get all that hair out of your eyes.
Aki and Misao: (each grab their own hair) NO!!
LFO # 1: maybe a new hairdo?
LFO # 2: oh, of course, it would still get the hair out of your eyes, but you'd still have all of it.
Aki: sorry, I like my hair in a ponytail
Misao: and I like mine in a braid.
LFO #1&2: (shrug) (replace straw in Aki's hair and corn husks in Misao's)
Shishio: (walks up to Sano and Saito) hi, I'll be your hairdrether for today
Tokiyo: Hello, Hajime-Chan
Saito: hello dear.
Shishio: (takes out scissors) I'll jutht cut off those thplit endth for ya
Sano: I'd like to see you try
Shishio: (shrugs) (tries to cut his hair) you know I've alwayth wanted to be a hairdrether, taking over Japan wath jutht a phathe I went through (scissors break) oh, dear me. What to do, what to do...I've got an idea! (tries to cut hair with sword, buzz saw, and eventually a blow torch, all break)
Sano: told ya.
Shishio: we've got to do thomething with your hair...thomething to make it more interesthting. I know, I'll dye it pink! (pulls out pink hair dye)
Sano: AAUUGHH!! AKI!! (jumps out of chair) (tackles Aki)
Aki: what is it, baka?
Sano: he tried to dye my hair pink!
Shishio: (happily waves to Aki)
Aki: yeah, Sano, that's really threatening
Misao: poor baby, did he scare you?
Sano: I swear, he did!
Aki: (rolls eyes) come on, baka, we'll wait for everyone else outside
Sano: he did!! You should have seen what he did to Kenshin this one time, I think he infected him! Personally, I think the guy's a vampire!
Misao: right, Sano, and trains are run by an evil spirit
Aki and Sano: THEY ARE!!
~(they walk out)~
Tokiyo: you know dear, I really think you should stop using that hair gel to slick your back. You should let it fall in your face. Besides, I like it better down. (washes Saito's hair and dries it) (pulls out mirror) kawaii, ne?
Saito: oh, yes, Tokiyo-Chan, very cute. ^_^ Although, I would be able to give a straight answer....if I could see ^_^
Tokiyo: well, you don't have to get all ^_^ about it!
Hiko: (walks up to Aoshi and Suzuka) prepare for a hairdressing session that may change your innocent philosophies of the world. (pops knuckles)
Suzuka: (jumps up in chair) don't you come near me!!
Aoshi: yeah! Don't you come near her!
Hiko: fine, you lather, rinse, and repeat (throws shampoo bottle into air which they catch)
Suzuka: oh yeah, I'm reformed, let me tell ya.
Aoshi: I've seen the light, now will somebody turn it off?
Suzuka: huh?
Aoshi: I don't know, should we wait for someone to come or...just sit?
Soujiro: (walks in) oh, I see you've already got the shampoo ready for me!:)
Aoshi and Suzuka: oh, no
Yumi-baka: (walks up to Kenshin and Kaoru) oh, I definitely have my work cut out for me now, don't I?
Kaoru: (glares darts)
Komatori: (walks in) oh, this is going to take all day!
Kaoru: (glares lasers)
Yumi-baka: I'll start on you first (points to Kaoru) and you'll be my nurse (points to Komatori)
Komatori: (cackles)
Kaoru: DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR!! Yours is bad enough already.
Yumi-baka: Komatori?
Komatori (ties Kaoru to the chair)
Kenshin: Kaoru-Dono!
Yumi-baka: relax, she'll be fine. (to Komatori) sutures.
Kenshin and Kaoru: SUTURES?!
Yumi-baka: I was joking....scissors.
~a few minutes later~
Yumi-baka: (hands Kaoru a mirror)
Kaoru: .....it's just the same....
Komatori: what are you talking about? It looks much better. Would've looked better if I had done it, but.....
Yumi-baka: now for you, Battousai
Kaoru: Kenshin's a dog, he doesn't need his hair cut (runs out dragging Kenshin by the leash)
Aoshi and Suzuka: TAKE US WITH YOU!!
Saito: thanks for the makeover, Tokiyo-Chan, but I have to go (leaves)
~outside the doors~
Saito: (Walks up)
Sano: (snickers)
Saito: what is it, moron?
Aki: Gee, I just love those manly butterflies in your hair (pause)
All else: (lol)
Tsubame: Come on, now, the Wizard will see you now
............................................................................ ......................................
Aki: okay, that's it for now
Avia: what do you want to see happen next?
Misao: MORE SAITO BASHING!!
Kaoru: it's up to the readers, Misao-Chan
Naruto: I can read, I want ramen!!
Avia: where did you come from?!
Naruto: Konohagakure no Sato?
Avia: oh, good grief!
Cho: should I be flying monkey?
Aki: hey, it's Broom-Head!!
Rooster/Chicken-Head: where?!
Aki: now it's the flying Broom monkey!
Avia: or, just whatever you want to see happen
Megumi: or maybe I should get rid of this stupid witch hat and broom and trade it in for a tiara and a vacuum cleaner!
Avia: like I said, it's up to you
Naruto: I WANT RAMEN!!
Sakura: AND I WANT SASUKE!! Did I just say that?
Sasuke: yeah, well I want to kill my brother but you don't see that happening
Cho: yeah, well I want a shriner hat!
Sano: yeah, well I want my zan-batou! (zan-batou appears in hands) YEAH!!
Cho: yeah, well I want my MOMMY!! (runs from Sano and zan-batou)
Sano: (chases)
Avia: end author's note!!
Disclaimer: I don't own RK nor the Wizard of Oz
~
Dorothy: Kaoru (with pigtails)
Toto: Kenshin (wears a leash)
Scarecrow #1: Aki (wears her own kasa and has straw in her hair)
Scarecrow #2: Misao (wears random kasa and has corn husks in her hair)
Tinman #1: Suzuka (wears English knight's helmet)
Tinman #2: Aoshi (see Suzuka)
Cowardly lion #1: Sano (wears random Mardi Gras mask)
Cowardly lion #2: Saito (wears cheesy Albertson's mask)
Munchkins etc.: Yahiko, Tsubame, Ayame, Suzume (whatever their characters usually wear)
Glenda: Tae (wears a pink kimono instead of Akobeko uniform)
Wicked witch: Megumi (has broom wears pointed witch hat)
Wizard of Oz: Dr. Gensai (wears stupid blue wizard hat with stars on it)
~
~*~((:You know the first part of the story, family crisis, cousins, Auntie- Em, there's a tornado, blah, blah, blah, now we're in Munchkin Land, you know the setting.:))~*~
~
(Kaoru and Kenshin walk out of the Kamiya dojo to see Munchkin land. Kaoru is happily holding Kenshin's leash)
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore...
Kenshin: That we aren't, Kaoru-Dono. I mean, woof, that I do!
Kaoru: where do you think we are, Kenshin-inu?
Tae: (floats in) Why, you're in Munchkin Land.
Kaoru: I don't see any munchkins, Tae-San....
Tae: I'm getting there, Kaoru-San. Ahem, your dojo landed on the Wicked witch of the East (motions to hair and ribbon sticking out from under the dojo) her sister, Megumi-
Kaoru: Megumi-San?!
Tae: just go with it, Kaoru-San. The wicked witch of the west is looking for that indigo ribbon, there, and will do anything to get it. You must not let her have it. You must take it to Oz to the wizard he can help you get home.
Kaoru: that makes no sense. How do we get to Oz??
Tae: I'll let the munchkins explain. (floats away)
Kaoru: (picks up indigo ribbon) (gets evil smirk) here, Kenshin (ties ribbon in ponytail) you can guard it
Kenshin: Oro....um. ruff.
(Yahiko, Tsubame, Ayame, and Suzume run out into the open)
Tsubame and Ayame: we welcome you to Munchkin Land...
Suzume: yeah, Munchkin Land!
Yahiko: okay, let's cut to the point, follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, fa, la, la, la, la, follow the yellow brick road. You get the point. Now go.
Ayame and Suzume: bye, Uncle Kenny!!
(Kaoru and Kenshin wave as they follow the yellow brick road)
(Kaoru and her "dog" come to a fork in the road where two scarecrows are hanging in a cornfield)
Kaoru: I hate this place....so many-
Scarecrows: (get off posts and rush into cornfield) GET AWAY FROM HERE YOU STUPID BIRDS!! (crows fly off) (scarecrows come back to posts and put away weapons and go back to being just plain scarecrows)
Kenshin: don't they look familiar, Kaoru-Dono?
Kaoru: (looks at scarecrows closer) I don't know...which way should we go?
Scarecrow #1: that way (points to the left)
Scarecrow #2: that way (points to the right)
Both: (notice they're pointing in different directions) or maybe that way (S#1 points up, S#2 points down) who knows?
Kaoru: it's Aki-Chan and Misao-Chan! Why are they acting like scarecrows?
Aki: (shrugs) the authors made us do it
Misao: if I ever get my hands on them I'll.....
Aki: Misao-Chan, that's not the situation at hand, now
Misao: oh, right, what was your question, Kaoru?
Kaoru: which way should we go?
Aki: heck, I don't know (jumps from post to join Kaoru and Kenshin-inu)
Misao: we figured maybe some random people would figure it out and we'd follow (also jumps down to join Kaoru and Kenshin-inu)
Aki: where are you planning on going?
Kaoru: we're going to see the wizard of Oz
Misao: us too, the stupid crows stole our shoes
Aki: yup...being a barefoot scarecrow is kind of hard. Especially in Japan.
Kenshin: you have a thing for following, don't you Misao?
Misao: THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BIG JERK!! (kicks Kenshin in the face)
Kenshin: oro....it was a joke...
Aki: (sarcastically) Kenshin, that ribbon really goes with your eyes.
Kaoru: doesn't it though? ^_^
Aki: well, I would suggest us splitting up to find out where to go, but that would put us back at square one. So, let's just pick a random direction and go to the right.
Misao: yeah, I'm right-handed, why not?
Kaoru: sounds good to me (shrugs)
(later down the road)
Kenshin: I like being a dog, that I do ^_^
Random cat that shows up every now and then: (pops out of Kaoru's basket) (hisses) (hackles go up)
Kaoru: now, now, neko, no attacking Kenshin
Kenshin: so maybe I don't like being a dog that much...
Misao: what do you think the wizard is like?
Aki: As long as I get my shoes back, I really don't care.
Kaoru: I'm getting hungry... (reaches up to get an apple)
Aki: no, Kaoru-San, not those apples.
Misao: let's keep walking until we find another apple orchard.
Kaoru: what's wrong with these apples? (points)
Apple tree: yeah, what's wrong with these apples?
Kaoru: forget I said anything ^_^;;;;;;;
Apple tree: why don't you want my apples?
Kaoru: I'd love some of your apples
Apple tree: oh, so you want a piece o' me, do you?
Aki: K-Kaoru-San, we'd better be going....
Misao: yeah, I'm sure there are other apples on other trees....
(Aki and Misao each grab one of Kaoru's arms and bolt into the bushes. Kenshin is still on a leash, so of course he has to follow)
Kenshin: Ittai...
Kaoru: what was that all about?
Aki: long story...
Misao: VERY long
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, get up! (yanks leash)
Kenshin: oro....!
Kaoru: oh, look, tin...men?
(in the middle of a clearing two tinmen are randomly standing around)
Tinman #1: oil...
Kenshin: what?
Tinman #2: can...
Kenshin: Nani?
Tinman #1: (lifts mask) oil can!!
Tinman #2: (lifts mask) we need an oil can!!
Kenshin: oh, hello, Itoko-Chan and Aoshi ^_^
Kaoru: Suzuka and Aoshi, how are you?
Suzuka: rusty, according to the script.
Aoshi: where are you headed?
Kaoru: we're off to see the wizard...! Yeah, to see the wizard of Oz.
Aki: what do you want from the wizard other than an oil can?
Suzuka and Aoshi: helmet polish, of course.
Aki: helmet polish?
Misao: At least we want something useful
Aki: (nods)
Aoshi: well, if you think that's so useless, then what do you want from the wizard?
Misao: brains. I mean, shoes!
Aki: it's okay, Misao-Chan (pats on head)
Suzuka: what do you want from the wizard, Kenny?
Kenshin: you mean other than a bone? Uh...I think I'm going dog. Kaoru: Kenshin-inu and I want to go back home to Tokyo
Megumi: (pops in) (cackles) hello, Ken-Sama...and Raccoon girl....and everyone else. Hi, Suzuka-Chan! :D Ahem, Kaoru, give me Ken-Sama's ribbon!
Kaoru: no! It goes with his eyes! Doesn't it, Aki?
Aki: heh, heh...right...
Megumi: Well, anyway, all you need to know right now is: I'LL GET YOU, MY LITTLE RACCOON!! And that adorable little dog, too! (pops out)
Kaoru: and apparently, that's our antagonist.
Aki: (sarcastically) how intimidating.
Kaoru: where do we go from here?
Aki: I don't know, those stupid apple trees threw us off course!
~Eventually, our heroes get back on track and decide to sing a little song....for some reason~
Aki: I REFUSE TO SING THAT SONG!!
All else: lions, and tigers, and bears oh, my!
Aki: THERE IS NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH THAT I'M SINGING THAT SONG!!
All else: lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!
Kenshin: (trips on rock) lions, and tigers, and bears, that they are. Oro...
Suzuka: Come on, Aki, we're trying to keep in unison, here.
Aki: I AIN'T SINGIN' THE SONG!!
Cowardly lion #1: we know you're not singing the song.
Cowardly lion #2: some of us have eardrums, banshee.
Cowardly lion #1: no, it's battleaxe.
Aki: my name is Aki, not banshee, not battleaxe, speaking of stupid nicknames, what are you doing here, baka?
Sano: (jumps out) hey, Kenshin, how' it going, buddy?
Cowardly lion #2: (walks up next to Sano) don't play with your food.
Kenshin: hello, Saito
Saito: what are you doing here, Himura?
Kaoru: Kenshin, dogs don't talk. We're going to see the wizard!
Aki: no more singing....
Kaoru: don't worry, Aki-Chan, no more singing...for a while.
Aki: (strange look)
Saito: okay, let's get the stupid questioning over in one question, what do you all want from the wizard?
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu and I want to go back home to Tokyo.
Aki and Misao: foot ware.
Suzuka and Aoshi: helmet polish.
Sano: Saito here wants psychological help. I want some saké.
Saito: you can't even SPELL psychological.
Sano: that's why you're getting the help and not me. Who goes around wearing one of those ridiculous masks anyway?
Saito: you should talk
Sano: hey, my mask is feathery, not pseudo-plastic.
Saito: you can't even spell pseudo.
Aki: hey, only I get to pick on the baka!
Saito: oh? And what gives you the right?
Aki: (throws chained scythe that barely misses Saito's face and hits a tree) that could have been your nose...as big as a target it is...
Saito: okay ^_^
Kenshin: uh-oh, he's doing the ^_^ thing again.
Saito: I don't need any of you, anyway ^_^ I can find the wizard myself ^_^ who needs garden tools, protective headgear and, a guy wearing a mask, anyway? ^_^;;;;
Misao: what is he babbling about?
Aki: (shrugs) I don't speak that language. Did he just call me a garden tool?
Kaoru: we really should get going...Saito, are you through with your fit?
Saito: wait, I have one more. ^_^ Okay, I'm done.
~Everyone, without killing each other come to a dark forest~
~ back at Megumi's fortress~
Megumi: FLY, FLY, MY PRETTIES, FLY!!!
Tsubame: I don't like flying...
Ayame: I'm a monkey!:)
Suzume: Yeah! A monkey!:)
Yahiko: is this really necessary?
Suzume: yeah! N-ne-necessary!:)
Tsubame: Yahiko-Chan, I'm afraid of heights!! (clings)
Suzume: yeah! Afraid of heights!:)
Yahiko: where are we headed to, Megumi?
Suzume: yeah! Headed to!:)
Megumi: bring me the raccoon and the dog, kill the others
Suzume: yeah! Bring her a puppy!:)
Yahiko: Kenshin and Kaoru preach against killing.
Megumi: uh...knock 'em out!
Yahiko: whatever, fox girl.
Suzume: Yeah! Fox girl!
Yahiko: would you stop repeating everything anyone says?
Suzume: but it's fun!:)
Yahiko: (to Megumi) doesn't that come later in the story, though?
Megumi: fine, you can take a break, you slacker! I'll just make Kaoru and Ken-Sama be knocked unconscious by a random field of poppies right before they get to Oz.
Yahiko: Megumi?
Megumi: yes?
Yahiko: you know the hat doesn't go with anything you're wearing, right?
Megumi: (pounds Yahiko over the head) what was that?
Yahiko: ugh...
Megumi: I thought so.
~Back in the dark woods~
Aki: you and your shortcuts (hits Sano over head)
Sano: I thought I came here before. I told you I wasn't sure. That hurt, too.(rubs head)
Aki: we're not trying to go to Megumi's castle, we're trying to get to Oz.
Saito: moron, he probably thought he smelled saké.
Sano: I DID NOT, I JUST LIKE FORESTS ALRIGHT?!
Saito: whatever, we've got to get to Kyoto, I mean Oz.
Kaoru: Oz is the Emerald City, right?
Misao: yup.
Kaoru: well then, why not follow the glowing green light over there?
Kenshin: now that you mention it, there is a rather conveniently placed light over there, that there is.
Suzuka: I guess we should follow it then.
All else: (shrug) okay
Kaoru: (gasps) poppies! :D (yawns) (falls asleep)
Kenshin: I'm getting tired too, that I am (falls asleep)
Sano: (falls over asleep)
Aki: Sano, look, it's narrow eyes! (points to Saito)
Sano: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Aki: let's try that again. Sano, narrow eyes says he can out-drink you!!
Sano: (pops up) we've got to find that saké, I'll show him!!
Aki: thought that might work, after losing to me of all people on a drinking contest!
Sano: I forgot about that. now I'm even more determined! Gr......
Aki: calm down, Sasquatch. You'll hurt yourself.
Misao: why aren't we falling asleep?
Aki: well, Saito's an insomniac
Saito: coffee...
Aki: we're supposed to be scarecrows ergo, we're not human
Suzuka: and we're supposed to be tinmen. Sleep can't stop the power of metal apparently
Sano: (shrugs) (throws a sleeping Kenshin over his shoulder) everyone else ready?
Aki: (throws a sleeping Kaoru over her shoulder) they should be now.
~back at Megumi's~
Megumi: dang it! They got past the poppies! The lions should have been out too! Why didn't they fall asleep?! YAHIKO, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!
Yahiko: sure, right, whatever.
Megumi: if you hadn't gotten me irked over correcting my timing in this story, I wouldn't have set up something this stupid!! Poppies!
Yahiko: it was your idea you know
Megumi: (hits him over head) what was that?
Yahiko: would you stop that?!
~the gates of Oz~
Kaoru (AN: yay, she's awake!:)): what do we do now?
Aoshi: common sense would say knock, but we don't exactly seem to have a plague of common sense among us, do we?
Aki: hey, be nice to Kaoru-San!
Saito: you like starting arguments, don't you?
Aki: you both must like pain, don't you?
Kaoru: um...right, back to the knocking.
Kenshin: (knocks on closed window)
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, dogs can't knock.
Kenshin: sorry, Kaoru-Dono, you can knock.
Kaoru: thank you Kenshin (knocks on closed window)
Tsubame: (comes to window) hai?
Kaoru: we're here to see the wizard
Tsubame: okay...just a minute, please (closes window)
~Ayame and Suzume open the doors~ (AN: the doors are Styrofoam;))
Yahiko: Welcome to Oz. I hate this job.
Kenshin: bark, ruff, woof. How do you think I feel? :)
Aki: we don't have to ride on one of those stupid carriages with the tie- dye horses, do we?
Misao: I hope not. They kind of scare me.
Tsubame: no, you don't have to. In fact, we could get you some fresh straw and corn husks for your hair before you see the wizard (ushers the scarecrows through double doors)
Ayame: (holds Suzuka's hand in one hand and Aoshi's in the other) and we could freshen you two up for the wizard too (ushers them to the same doors)
Suzume: Yeah!:) freshen you up for the wizard!:) (takes Sano and Saito through the doors)
Yahiko: you saw which doors they went through (walks off)
~thru the double doors, the Oniwabanshu are taking care of everyone~
lady from the Oniwabanshu # 1 (AN: sorry, I don't know their names) : Leader, maybe you and your friend would like a haircut?
LFO # 2: oh, yes, get all that hair out of your eyes.
Aki and Misao: (each grab their own hair) NO!!
LFO # 1: maybe a new hairdo?
LFO # 2: oh, of course, it would still get the hair out of your eyes, but you'd still have all of it.
Aki: sorry, I like my hair in a ponytail
Misao: and I like mine in a braid.
LFO #1&2: (shrug) (replace straw in Aki's hair and corn husks in Misao's)
Shishio: (walks up to Sano and Saito) hi, I'll be your hairdrether for today
Tokiyo: Hello, Hajime-Chan
Saito: hello dear.
Shishio: (takes out scissors) I'll jutht cut off those thplit endth for ya
Sano: I'd like to see you try
Shishio: (shrugs) (tries to cut his hair) you know I've alwayth wanted to be a hairdrether, taking over Japan wath jutht a phathe I went through (scissors break) oh, dear me. What to do, what to do...I've got an idea! (tries to cut hair with sword, buzz saw, and eventually a blow torch, all break)
Sano: told ya.
Shishio: we've got to do thomething with your hair...thomething to make it more interesthting. I know, I'll dye it pink! (pulls out pink hair dye)
Sano: AAUUGHH!! AKI!! (jumps out of chair) (tackles Aki)
Aki: what is it, baka?
Sano: he tried to dye my hair pink!
Shishio: (happily waves to Aki)
Aki: yeah, Sano, that's really threatening
Misao: poor baby, did he scare you?
Sano: I swear, he did!
Aki: (rolls eyes) come on, baka, we'll wait for everyone else outside
Sano: he did!! You should have seen what he did to Kenshin this one time, I think he infected him! Personally, I think the guy's a vampire!
Misao: right, Sano, and trains are run by an evil spirit
Aki and Sano: THEY ARE!!
~(they walk out)~
Tokiyo: you know dear, I really think you should stop using that hair gel to slick your back. You should let it fall in your face. Besides, I like it better down. (washes Saito's hair and dries it) (pulls out mirror) kawaii, ne?
Saito: oh, yes, Tokiyo-Chan, very cute. ^_^ Although, I would be able to give a straight answer....if I could see ^_^
Tokiyo: well, you don't have to get all ^_^ about it!
Hiko: (walks up to Aoshi and Suzuka) prepare for a hairdressing session that may change your innocent philosophies of the world. (pops knuckles)
Suzuka: (jumps up in chair) don't you come near me!!
Aoshi: yeah! Don't you come near her!
Hiko: fine, you lather, rinse, and repeat (throws shampoo bottle into air which they catch)
Suzuka: oh yeah, I'm reformed, let me tell ya.
Aoshi: I've seen the light, now will somebody turn it off?
Suzuka: huh?
Aoshi: I don't know, should we wait for someone to come or...just sit?
Soujiro: (walks in) oh, I see you've already got the shampoo ready for me!:)
Aoshi and Suzuka: oh, no
Yumi-baka: (walks up to Kenshin and Kaoru) oh, I definitely have my work cut out for me now, don't I?
Kaoru: (glares darts)
Komatori: (walks in) oh, this is going to take all day!
Kaoru: (glares lasers)
Yumi-baka: I'll start on you first (points to Kaoru) and you'll be my nurse (points to Komatori)
Komatori: (cackles)
Kaoru: DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR!! Yours is bad enough already.
Yumi-baka: Komatori?
Komatori (ties Kaoru to the chair)
Kenshin: Kaoru-Dono!
Yumi-baka: relax, she'll be fine. (to Komatori) sutures.
Kenshin and Kaoru: SUTURES?!
Yumi-baka: I was joking....scissors.
~a few minutes later~
Yumi-baka: (hands Kaoru a mirror)
Kaoru: .....it's just the same....
Komatori: what are you talking about? It looks much better. Would've looked better if I had done it, but.....
Yumi-baka: now for you, Battousai
Kaoru: Kenshin's a dog, he doesn't need his hair cut (runs out dragging Kenshin by the leash)
Aoshi and Suzuka: TAKE US WITH YOU!!
Saito: thanks for the makeover, Tokiyo-Chan, but I have to go (leaves)
~outside the doors~
Saito: (Walks up)
Sano: (snickers)
Saito: what is it, moron?
Aki: Gee, I just love those manly butterflies in your hair (pause)
All else: (lol)
Tsubame: Come on, now, the Wizard will see you now
............................................................................ ......................................
Aki: okay, that's it for now
Avia: what do you want to see happen next?
Misao: MORE SAITO BASHING!!
Kaoru: it's up to the readers, Misao-Chan
Naruto: I can read, I want ramen!!
Avia: where did you come from?!
Naruto: Konohagakure no Sato?
Avia: oh, good grief!
Cho: should I be flying monkey?
Aki: hey, it's Broom-Head!!
Rooster/Chicken-Head: where?!
Aki: now it's the flying Broom monkey!
Avia: or, just whatever you want to see happen
Megumi: or maybe I should get rid of this stupid witch hat and broom and trade it in for a tiara and a vacuum cleaner!
Avia: like I said, it's up to you
Naruto: I WANT RAMEN!!
Sakura: AND I WANT SASUKE!! Did I just say that?
Sasuke: yeah, well I want to kill my brother but you don't see that happening
Cho: yeah, well I want a shriner hat!
Sano: yeah, well I want my zan-batou! (zan-batou appears in hands) YEAH!!
Cho: yeah, well I want my MOMMY!! (runs from Sano and zan-batou)
Sano: (chases)
Avia: end author's note!!