Title: Hatefully in love
Rating: NC 17
A/N: The story takes place somewhere in the sixth season.
The creature snuck up to her but she had heard it. Before he even knew he was on his back on the ground and she stuck the stake through his heart.
"Dust to dust," she bit out. She was getting a little tired already. She had had quite a few clients that night and the fights wore her out. Before she had a chance to finish that thought another one appeared just in front of her. He jumped at her and she moved out of his way but he attacked from the other direction extremely quickly.
"You're just prolonging the inevitable," she laughed at him when she tackled him to the ground. He managed to shake her off and punch her in the face. She avoided the second punch and was ready to stake him when he pushed her and she clumsily tripped over a headstone. She fell backwards, hitting her head on the edge of a stone.
A dark figure loomed over her unconscious body and dug its fingers in her upper arms to lift her off the ground. He smelled her first and then his teeth made contact with her neck.
When she woke up she was confused. The dusk around her was in accordance with her last memory of being out on patrol but the comfortable bed was an unusual piece of furniture for a graveyard.
When she moved her head to look around the place she felt an acute pain at the back of her head.
"Ouch." She lifted her head off the pillow to check for injuries, when she heard a noise. She sat up, listening attentively to the movements in her surroundings. She heard someone coming from her right. She almost sighed, she had had enough of fighting for one night but a job is a job.
She didn't have a weapon so her own strength was all that was left. When the attacker stopped right next to her she grabbed him and through him to the ground. She heard a yelp of surprise and then, "Bloody hell!"
"Spike?"
"What the bleeding hell do you think you're doing?" he grumbled from the dark. A second after that Buffy saw a flicker of light from his lighter and then he lit two candles he had in his hands.
"I'm sorry, I thought someone was trying to kill me. I didn't know it was you. Where am I anyway?"
She looked around the place and in the dim light recognized Spike's crypt. "Oh, your place."
"Yeah and you're not a bloody ungrateful guest," he complained when he finally stood up.
"I should've just left you out there for the bloke to finish off his business." He glared at her but the effect of it was somewhat lost in the candlelight that made his look a lot softer than he intended it to be. He lit several more candles and the room became brighter.
"Finish off his business? What happened and why exactly am I here?" She touched the back of her head again and felt a stabbing pain shoot through her. She sat down on the bed.
"You hit your head on a stone and a vamp was trying to suck your blood."
She instinctively reached up to her neck to find any wounds. He snickered.
He joined her on the bed. "Don't worry, I didn't leave him that pleasure."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me." He leaned back to the board and placed his hands behind his head. He was watching her shamelessly, taking in every detail from her dirtied jeans to her scanty top.
"And I suppose you were saving it for yourself then?" she asked annoyed. Her meetings with Spike had always ended like this. It was infuriating how he had always tried to seduce her and he kept repeating that he loved her but she knew he had no idea of what love was.
"I might."
She shot up and pointed a finger at him. Even in the dim light he could see she was boiling with anger.
"Next time just leave me and don't try to help me! You hear? I don't want your help!"
She turned to leave but she was a bit disoriented from the pain in her head and the darkness of the room. Her inability to find a way out only added to her frustration.
"Right. Will you come and visit when you're turned? Or should I say -if- you're turned because most of the badies out there would prefer to see you dead."
His voice came right from behind her. She hadn't heard him move and come so close. His vicinity made her shiver. She justified it with the loathing that she felt for the man.
A wry smile curved his lips when he smelled her excitement. It wasn't quite fear but not just anticipation either, rather a mixture of the two.
"You should be a bit more grateful, pet," he chided.
She turned all of a sudden hitting him squarely in his jaw. He staggered backwards.
"You little bint!" he growled and jumped at her. She kicked him in the gut and he fell down. Buffy wanted to escape but he didn't let her. He didn't want to hit her but he knew he had to fight to show her he was just as strong as she was so she wouldn't get any ideas. Besides he was beginning to sense fighting was just some sort of foreplay for the Slayer.
He swung his leg across the floor towards her and cut her legs from under her. She fell to the floor on her back. From the cry she gave out he concluded she must've hit her head again.
Before she managed to do anything he was on top of her. He pinned her to the floor with his weight and held her hands above her head. She still tried to fight and she was strong but he guessed she could fight harder if she wanted to.
"What now? You want me to show you what would happen if I hadn't come out and kicked the vamp's ass or what would I do if you were left at my mercy?" He grinned at her but she saw in his eyes that he was quite serious, not in trying to do what he had threatened but in trying to show her how stupid she was.
"I'm not left at your mercy," she gritted her teeth.
"No? Are you sure?" he mocked her when he leaned down and kissed her roughly. She tried to shrug him off but he was strong and determined. When her attempts to free herself quieted down he loosened his grip on her wrists and the pressure of his mouth on hers. The kiss was still passionate but softer. His tongue caressed her lower lip causing her to return his kiss more passionately than she wanted to. A moan escaped her and she was horrified when she realized her body instinctively arched into his.
She abruptly turned her face away, angrier with herself than him. She could taste his cold saliva on her swollen lips. There was something about him … or was it something about her? … that rendered her unable to fight her desires and to resist him. Eventually she always gave in and she enjoyed it. She saved the feelings of disgust and self-loathing for later, for after.
A soft chuckle came from above and she looked directly into those amused eyes that seemed black because of the lack of light in the room … er, crypt.
"Not left at my mercy, are you?"
"I could kill you, you damn well know that," she panted angrily, trying to hide her desire.
"Hmm, I guess you could. But you didn't and you won't." His smirk made her want to strangle him. She tried to kick him but she found her legs successfully pinned underneath his and the only result of her attempt was that he was now lying between her spread legs. She huffed and puffed with frustration but nothing helped.
"And why exactly do you think I won't kill you?" she asked sarcastically.
"Oh, come on, luv, we both know you want me."
"You're crazy and I'm not your bloody luv!" she yelled but only caused Spike to laugh.
"-Bloody- luv, eh? You learn everything this fast? Because I've got a lot to teach you, pet. Being around for over a hundred years has certain advantages. I've tried all kinds of things," he chuckled when he saw her face go red.
"I don't want to hear any ugly details of your sex life," she made a disgusted face.
"Sex life? Who said anything about sex life?" Spike pretended to be surprised just to irritate her further. "I wanted to teach you the art of sword fighting and …"
"Oh, would you shut up!"
He grinned at her obvious embarrassment. "Though I don't think I'd be lying if I said I'm rather experienced in the art of lovemaking, too."
She managed to free her hands and she pushed against his chest.
"Let me go, you oaf!" His shirt parted so her palms pressed against his naked chest. The sudden contact took her breath away. His skin was cold and smooth and she could feel the taut muscles underneath. She felt an irresistible urge to caress him with her fingers but her sanity broke through her daze and she moved her hands to her sides on the floor.
"I don't feel like letting you go just yet. I'm having too much fun. And you could enjoy it, too, if only you'd relax and trust me." He slid one hand over her hip and caressed her thigh. She twitched at his touch.
"Trust you? You've got to be kidding me!" she snorted.
"I'm perfectly serious. Admit it, you want this just as much as I do, you're just pretending you're above the trivial desires of human kind."
His words struck too close to home for her to feel comfortable. It angered her that he could read her so well while his thoughts seemed to be inaccessible to her.
She pushed against him with all her force and she managed to roll them around. She straddled him and now he was the one caught on the floor.
"Is that so?"
"What?" he asked confused after her unexpected attack. He didn't mind lying underneath her, though.
"You think I want this as much as you do? Well, let me tell you something, bad boy, I could kiss your soul out of you, if you had one, and I still wouldn't feel anything!" She pronounced the words slowly to make it totally clear to him that he was a fool to believe she wanted him.
"Then do it," he urged her with a grin. "Unless you're afraid you'd fail," he added to taunt her.
She hesitated for a moment. She knew she was playing with fire but she believed that with doing it she would show him once and for all that she was right and he was wrong.
She leaned closer to his face. She was waiting for him to close his eyes but he didn't. She knew he was daring her and she was determined not to let him win. But the blue of his eyes was so distracting …
She kissed him almost roughly. At first he didn't respond and she thought she had already won that battle. But then his lips moved, slid over hers and caught her in a whirlwind of sensations. His hand reached to the back of her head and pulled her closer. He caught her lower lip between his teeth and nibbled at it. Buffy shivered and let out a moan when his tongue invaded her mouth.
She could feel its coldness and brutal force and that excited her more than she would ever be willing to admit. But Spike could feel it nonetheless. Her movements softened and her eager kiss expressed pure desire.
His hand slid down her back to her tight little behind. He pressed her midsection down to his and the feeling was almost overwhelming. When Buffy felt their closeness she tensed a bit and pulled away from him.
"Spike …" she panted. He knew he was losing her but he wasn't willing to let her go just like that. He rolled her to her back and he was surprised when she didn't fight him. Instead of pushing him away she pulled him down to her and kissed him again. He willingly parted his lips when her tongue demanded entrance.
His hands snuck up under her top and he caressed her soft skin. Had he needed to breathe he would be breathless by now, he thought. She pulled at his shirt and slid it over his shoulders and down his back. Her hands were all over him, warming his skin.
He suddenly realized she must be very uncomfortable on the floor and he lifted her up and carried her to his bed.
"Better," she murmured when he placed her on the not so comfortable mattress. He covered her body with his own. His mouth went to her shoulder and he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. He wasn't even aware when her top and her jeans were discarded. He sat up on his heals and took in the amazing site of Buffy in her bra and panties lying in front of him.
He kissed his way from her knee, over her thigh and stomach to her breasts. He sucked at her nipple through the thin fabric of her bra and she gasped at his touch. Her nipples peaked instantly from the coldness and wetness of his mouth.
She reached to his pants and unclasped the belt. He had never experienced anything as erotic as Buffy unzipping his pants. Only his vampire stamina prevented him from embarrassing himself in front of her. He sucked in breath from mere pleasure when her hand reached into his pants and cupped his hardness.
The smell of her femininity was so sweet he impatiently tore her panties from her. She moaned and nipped at his neck before he stood up and got rid of his last piece of clothing. She pulled him impatiently down to her.
"Hey, luv, slow down, we have all the time in the world," he smiled down at her pretty face.
"I admit it, Spike, I want you," she whispered in a husky voice.
"Hmm, yeah, I've figured that one out," he grinned before he kissed her. She arched up into him when his lips trailed a path of wet kisses down her neck to her breasts. He reached for the clasp of her bra and then threw it to the floor. Her breasts were so soft but firm when he cupped them with his hand.
She couldn't get enough of his skin. She reached to his back and pulled him down on her. It felt like his cold skin scorched hers when he touched her. A moan escaped through her parted lips.
Spike's hand traveled over her flat belly and through her curls. She cried out when he touched her and a soft smile crossed his lips when he felt her wetness for him.
When she looked up at him she saw Spike's blue eyes clouded with desire and need. She suddenly felt an aching in her chest but she didn't want to pay attention to it right now.
He pulled his fingers from between her legs and he brought them to his lips. She watched amazed when he licked them clean like he was tasting the best of bloods.
"God, you're so sweet," he groaned when he took hold of her thigh and lifted her leg up over his hip.
He positioned himself at her wet opening. She gasped when she felt the tip of his length press against her.
She was left breathless when she felt him enter her, all cold and hard. He moved excruciatingly slowly. This was the sweetest torture he had ever experienced. He lowered his forehead to hers to calm himself after the shattering experience her snug opening offered him. He wondered if too much pleasure could dust him.
When she opened her eyes again he started to rock slowly against her hips.
"Bite me," she panted. She had even surprised herself with her words so Spike's astonishment was understandable. His movements almost stopped.
"What?" he lifted his head and looked at her with wide eyes.
"Bite me," she repeated this time with an unusual urgency in her voice.
"Luv, you know I can't do that."
"Just a tiny bit, please. It won't hurt you that much, will it?" she added hopefully.
"Buffy, it's not just the chip. It's … I don't want to hurt you." He closed his eyes shut for a second. She had no idea what she was asking. Or did she?
She stared in his eyes till she whispered again, "You couldn't hurt me."
He wanted to say something but he changed his mind. He lowered his mouth to her neck. He could feel her warm blood, her passion, her femininity, everything that he loved in her. He craved her blood just as much as he craved her love but they were both off limits for him. He hesitated before he gently placed his mouth to her silky skin. He could feel the pulsating of her vein under his lips. His tongue caressed her before she felt his sharp teeth.
He wanted to bite her, to mark her as his. He could feel the urge in his gut spreading through his whole body, forcing him to do it. His muscles tensed with anticipation and desire. But he couldn't do it. She had been already marked by someone else and he knew she would never be really his no matter how many marks he made on her soft skin. And he knew it was just a heat of the moment thing for her; she'd regret it later. He closed his eyes in an attempt to avoid the painful truth when he grazed her neck with his teeth, feeling the intense pleasure coursing through him. She moaned at the touch but he knew it would feel a hundred times better for both of them if he actually bit her. But she wasn't his to bite.
"I love you," he murmured to her hair when he increased his movements. She dug her fingers to his back, pulling him flush against her. He could feel all her curves against his body, her mouth on his neck, her gentle hands squeezing his ass and he could feel her incredible warmth and softness.
She lifted her hips to meet his hard thrusts and that sent him even deeper into her.
"Christ," he groaned when the pleasure became almost too intense.
"Harder," she begged when she felt her orgasm building up. She felt like she was burning inside while his coldness touched her on the outside. Her breathing turned to gasping and moaning when his hands slid up and down her body, cupping her breasts, caressing her shoulders and neck.
His rhythm became frantic. He wanted to feel all of her right now. He was so close it hurt.
"Spike …" she cried out when she couldn't hold on any longer. Her body tensed, her muscles pressed down on his hardness, her breathing stopped for a moment and then she caught her breath when she came down from her height.
The expression of ecstasy and utter abandonment on her face sent Spike to heaven. He pushed into her twice more when his own climax reached him and he let go. He groaned and shut his eyes when his body shuddered in gripping pleasure. His muscles ached with sweet tension till the last wave of poca muerte surged through him and left him spent and delightfully exhausted.
Buffy was still panting when he pressed his face to her neck and kissed her softly. She smelled of honey and sex. He grinned, he liked the combination.
When he rolled to her side he gently caressed her shoulder but instead of snuggling up to him, she turned her back to him. He guessed her gesture was instinctive but it still hurt.
When he was watching her delicate back he thought about how big the distance between them was even in their most intimate moments. He knew she'd never be able to love him and she'd never welcome him into her world. He was grateful for the few short moments when she opened up to him and let him in even if it hurt badly when she kicked him out again. He was well aware that that was all he would ever get.
She sat up and started dressing without a word. She turned and looked at him but didn't seem able to force herself to say anything to him.
She almost ran towards the few steps that led out of the crypt.
"And off she goes," he mumbled when the sound of the door closing was the only goodbye she offered.