Disclaimer: I don't own Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman

Unresolved Longings

by Maritza Franklin

May 25, 2011

Having left work early with Katie in arms; Michaela sat waiting outside the clinic for Sully to take them home.

"Well, Katie. How was your morning? I bet your Papa took you to see Cloud Dancing. Not that I have anything against him. I just don't know the Indians at that new reservation very well."

"He sure did, and showed me how to haunt and scalp," replied a peculiar high pitch voice as though coming from Katie.

Michaela turned towards the actual voice rounding the clinic; its owner slowly sauntering towards her, clearing his strained voice.

"Now really Hank, that wasn't funny!"

"Was to me," the barkeep replied in his natural languid tone, caressing Katie's cheek. "Right Katie, your pa took you out to the reservation."

"Yes, Mama—Papa did," Hank again straining to be Katie's voice before resuming his normal monotone one. "Yeah, saw him with my own eyes heading towards the reservation. With the way there's been trouble there, I was surprised you let Sully take this precious little package out there."

"Well, I'm sure he had his reasons and was being extra cautious," she said trying to disguise her unease and urge to wring Sully's neck.

"I'm just fooling ya. Mayra watched her," then let out a chuckle, eyeing her sighed in relief. "She's really becoming a real beauty."

"Yes, well…um…thank you."

"Sully gonna have his hands full trying to keep them boys at bay with setting up traps around the homestead and scalping them."

"Honestly Hank…"

"I'm just saying. Well, gotta get back to business. Afternoon, Katie…Michaela," then bowed before stepping away.

Though a little annoyed, Michaela sat musing over Hank. He's come a long way, yet still the same old Hank at times and she doubted he would ever completely change. But one thing she knew, he obviously had an appreciation for her and Katie.

"Well Katie, did I ever tell you how Hank came to babysit you one evening when you were just days old? Oh, I know—shocking. Believe me, it wasn't my choice, but it was an emergency as you'll someday understand. I was summoned by Hank in the middle of the night for a medical emergency. Your papa and siblings were on an overnight trip and wouldn't be back until morning. There was no one to stay with you at the moment when he brought me to the injured patient. I had no choice, but to hand you over to Hank, telling him to find Mayra, Grace or Dorothy. Instead he wound up watching over you a bit while longer."

Mayra, Grace and Dorothy rushed to Michaela's side ready to assist her as they have often done.

"Where's Katie?" she asked frantically while patching up the wounded man.

"Doesn't Sully or the children stay with her when you're summoned for an emergency overnight?" Dorothy inquired.

"They're away on an overnight trip. Oh my God…I left Katie with Hank!"

"With Hank!" Grace voiced alarmingly.

"I had no choice—Hank was here and this man was bleeding…."

"Don't worry Dr. Mike. I'm sure she's fine. Hank may be a bit shady at times, but I'm sure he won't harm your little girl," continued the cook reassuringly, silently praying the baby was fine.

"I'm on my way to get her Dr. Mike…so don't go frettin'," replied the postmaster's wife.

"Thank you Mayra."

The saloon was awfully quiet, yet a hint of glow peaked behind the swinging doors. Mayra rushed over and found Hank hovering over a swaddle blanket cradled gently in his arms; tears clearly streaming down.

"Oh my lord, Katie!" and rushed over to them only to be relieved at the little girl beaming at Hank before slumping down in front of them in astonishment.

"Look she's smiling," he said still starring in wonderment at the child. "She's smiling at me. She shouldn't be smiling at me, but she is." The tears continuing to flow as he looked up at Mayra deeply moved," I'm the devil here and she's smiling at me, all innocent. If only she knew who's holding her. She wouldn't be smiling."

"Hank, that's what unconditional love is all about. It smiles back in your face not expecting anything except maybe a smile back once in a while." And Hank did just that, wiping at his tears, awed at what was happening to him.

"Yeah, I think that's what I had with Clarice. I remember it now. At first I denied Zach, but when she put him in my arms it was like nothing I ever felt before, all soft and warm. I knew then he was mine. But then she had to up and die on me, and he turned out to be broken some. I didn't mean to toss him aside. It was for his protection, you see."

"I know," she placed a gentle hand on his.

"He's a good kid, doing real good now in that fancy art school. I just wish I could have been a better Pa for him."

"You did the right thing sending him there and you visit him. I'm sure he knows you love and care for him in your own way."

"Yeah, every chance I get." He paused, long and hard. "Why didn't you stay with me Mayra? I love ya. If it was marriage you wanted, why didn't you say so? I think I would have left all this behind if you only would have asked. Well, some of it, like getting our own place and you being only mine."

"Would you have? I couldn't stay. You know that. In my own way, I do care and love you, but not in the way you wanted me to. You may have made me do stuff I ain't too proud of, but know this," placing a hand over his heart. "There's goodness in you. You're like family Hank, and in every family there's always someone that needs a little more loving than others in hopes that someday they'll see the light. I know it'll happen to you. And when it does, remember I always had faith in you and will smile for you. You can have what Horace and I have. You just have to open up to unconditional love. It's okay to feel Hank. Just do it." She proceeded to take hold of Katie.

"No, let me keep holding her. She's so…delicate…like them porcelain dolls. Don't worry little one, I won't drop ya." Mayra remained by his side, marveling over the way he was holding and cherishing Dr. Mike's little girl as he once did holding her little Samantha in this very place. At one time she thought she might have wanted a child with him. Maybe that would have turned him around. But she's made a life with Horace and has Samantha as living proof of that better life. But still, she wondered.

"Mayra! Are you in there? Have you found Katie?"

"Come in Grace," replied Mayra. Suddenly Katie was thrust, yet carefully into her arms just as Grace entered.

"Take that bratty kid on out of here before it makes too much noise and stinks ups the place," he growled turning his back at them, making Mayra resume thinking she'd made the right decision after all.

"Yes, Katie, I think you have a slight guardian angel in Hank. Though he's tried intimidating me several times, he has never harmed me. He has a way of watching over us at the clinic just like your Papa, especially after my being sho…injured and he came to my aid. And he's always asking how you're coming along.

"Who's always asking after Katie?" asked a familiar welcomed voice.

"Sully, you startled me. Where's the wagon?"

"Robert E. is replacing a horseshoe on Flash. Sorry for intruding in on your private conversation with Katie," he lifted her from her mother up to the air, eliciting in her giggles before whispering, "You didn't tell your Ma our earlier adventure with showing you how to race a horse, "Huh?" she giggled some more, before he turned to Michaela.

"Sully how could you?"

"You know I took it easy with her. Besides, she's strong like her Ma." In changing the subject, "Were you just talking about Hank? I just saw him walk away from here."

"Yes, we were."

"What about?"

"Oh, how much he's changed, but that doesn't mean I trust him entirely to babysit Katie again. I get a sense he's always watching over the clinic…well, us."

"I think he'll do anything to protect any harm from coming to you and Katie. He won't admit it, but he's quite fond of you two."

"He certainly didn't act like it the first time I met him."

"I know, I was there," caressing her cheeks. "You were quite intimidating yourself."

"I was not!"

"You were to me," then kissed her soundly.

"Sully, the townsfolk," but she welcomed another kiss. "If anything, I was frighten."

"You, frighten?"

"Well, a little. You were a little intimidating too."

"What?"

"When you threw your tomahawk across the mercantile. It was wildly fighting, yet….," whispering for his ear only, "Rousing."

"Michaela Quinn!" he looked at her in shocked amusement, producing in her a sultry smile. "Should I go get Hank to babysit Katie again?"

"Heaven forbids!"

"HAHAHAHA!" Sully let out.

"Oh, you….I should have known you were only teasing me."

"We'll just make sure Katie is sound asleep with Colleen," then discretely whispering to her, "so we can get reacquainted tonight." She suddenly rose, "Where're you going?"

"Bringing Katie over to play with Samantha before the children come home tonight from their outing." Smiling knowingly, "She has taken well to the bottle."

Sully broke out in the widest of smiles, "Would my tomahawk need a command performance?" She smiled even wider nodding negatively. "Let's hurry home."

Across the clinic, observed quietly, the owner of The Gold Nugget somberly smoking a cigar and a glass of whisky at hand. "Lucky ba$#..." Should have been me with Mayra. Maybe I ought to sell this place and go after her, now that she's split with that bone of a man, Horace.