CONVERSATION BEHIND A CLOSED DOOR

She was pondering what she should do next with her life. What direction to take it. Up until lately, she has been satisfied to stay in Smallville Kansas. That is until the Valentines Day fiasco. Everything was fine with her and Clark, and then that happened. She hadn't talked to anyone about how it changed everything. She could talk to Chloe about anything. That is anything but the truth about what she really thought of Clark. And she couldn't share any of her feelings with her, because she could tell, that Chloe still hoped that Clark would eventually see her.

So she did the next best thing. She called her sister Lucy. The one thing about her and Lucy is that whatever disagreements they had about life; they were always able to talk freely about the guys in their life. Both being the Generals daughters, they were at times all they had to sort out the mess of life love and dating when it came right down to it.
She was alone, at her apartment at the Talon and Chloe was safely on her way to Jimmies place, so there was no chance of revealing anything that would upset Chloe. She had all day to talk if need be, and that is what she really needed at this point. The other thing she really needed was rounding the top of the stairs as she was beginning her conversation to Lucy.

Unbeknown to Lois, Clark had happened to come by and drop off something for his Mom to Lois. He really hated doing this though, because things between him and Lois had been very awkward lately, ever since the Red K- V day with her, He had felt very confused and uncomfortable, and he was still in love with Lana, in spite of everything. Being around Lois just was too awkward at this point. Even though she had been straightforward with him in the loft the next day, He still felt there was something not being said. He felt he couldn't be around Lois and end up with Lana, as he wanted. So he decided to pull away from her, and hope that Lana would come to her senses and give up the charade that she was pursuing with Lex. Lois was left out in the cold, and it really began to wear her down.

When he rounded the stairs to knock on the upstairs apartment door, he heard Lois in a conversation with someone on a phone, and it was immediately apparent- she seemed very distressed about something. He thought it would be wise to listen for a minute in case it was something dangerous…she was always getting herself into trouble. So he super sped to lock the downstairs door, and he stood outside and turned up his super hearing so he could listen to the other person she was talking too. To his surprise, it was Lucy. And what she said during the course of the conversation took him by surprise.

"So, who's the Guy we're talking about this time?" Lucy said knowingly"

"Oh you know, same one…..It's just got so much worse…"

So, what is it Sis?.

"Oh it's a disaster really. Actually, it's more like a nightmare"

Clark could see her pacing up and down the floor as she talked. He felt guilty for listening in, but he couldn't walk away, he wanted to know who she was talking about.

"Well, you know how mysterious and Cryptic Smallville is…"

"Are we talking about Smallville the city or Clark?"

"Actually, I meant the city, although now that you mention it, that really does describe Clark as well."

"So we are actually talking about both aren't we?"

"Well, unfortunately for me, Yea we are…You know Lucy, it was bad enough before, but now? Now it really sucks.

"
"So, what happened Sis?"

"Well, it started when Jimmy tried to set us up…."

"Jimmy Olsen, The guy Chloe's dating….God, He's cute!

"Yea, well he told me he and Chloe were going out to get a bite to eat, and then the place we ended up at was some valentine dance…"

"Oh I know all about that….Chloe told me about it shortly after it had happened. She thought it was hilarious…"

"She did what? The Nerve of her…I wouldn't do that to her..."

"Actually Lo, you did talk to me about the time they had that Gatorade love potion…"
"Okay, Maybe I did …But I didn't make fun of her!"

"So it's because of that day that you're upset…?"

"Oh God, I have No idea what I said to him or told him….I know I must have said something about how I feel, It's like he can't stand me now!"

"I don't understand why you just don't tell him Lo…What have you got to lose?"

"Well, if it was any other guy I would, But It would kill me if I thought I'd lost him as a friend. God it's killing me now."

"Why don't you try to ask him what happened?"

"Yea, well I already tried that…He claims he can't remember anything, but I can tell the way he looks at me like I'm a leper or something he must know something, otherwise, he would just make fun of it…now that I could take…"
"Come- on Lo, I've seen him look you over a couple of times! And what about the times he got upset because you were going out with someone"

"Yea, well you know as well as I do, there's a big difference in a guy thinking about sleeping with someone and someone who really cares."

"I thought you said He's such a Boy Scout!"

"Maybe, But he's still a guy!"

"It's like when that meteor shower hit Smallville for the second time….I ran into him in the hospital, I almost get killed, and what was he doing? He was bringing Lana Flowers…I was so mad; I snatched them out of his hand, and was going to take them with me!"

"Now that's funny Lois, Did you? I would have liked to see his face."

"Oh no, I gave them back when he thanked me for being with his parents…I just gave them back and walked away….leaving my heart behind."

"And still here I sit…"

"Forget about him Lo! Come to New York, you can take Journalism at Columbia, stay with me …It would be like old times!"

"I'm probably going to have to do something, I just can't take this. Even as bad as it was, watching fall over himself for Lana, at least I had him as a friend! Still, it really hurt every time I watch him with her, the way he looks at her, it just hurts like hell!"

"I know what you mean…Do you remember Martin Armstrong? He dumped me for his ex- girlfriend; she cheated on him so many times…That Bastard! What is it with the guys we pick Lo?"

"I think we are attracted to guys that aren't going to be around….I blame it on Dad"

"Good call Lo; I think I blame it on Dad too."

"It is his fault!"

"Hey Lo?"

"Yea…?"
"Do you think you think you'll ever get over him?"

"Oh I'll move on all right… But I know in my heart… I'll always be in love with him. But rest assured I'm just not going to mope around like he does, or pine away like Chloe does! At least I learned that much from Dad!"

"Well when you get ready to come….you just let me know…!"

"Trust me; it won't be to long….I've spent too much time in this town as it is!
I'll let you go…Call me next week Lucy…"

"Bye Lo"

Bye baby!"

Clark couldn't believe his ears; She was in love with him. And he saw the look in her eyes when she said: But I know in my heart… I'll always be in love with him. She looked heartbroken, she was heartbroken.

He would have never guessed. And all the things that she said about him made him feel like a jerk.

"He looks at me like I'm a leper…He can't stand me!"

And she had never told him, never even implied or suggested it. As a matter of fact, she always acted like he annoyed her." And after all this time, he thought she was the one that was indifferent, now he realizes that he was being indifferent to her and even cruel.
He had blamed her in his mind for everything that had happened that day, and yet with one conversation, he realized she would never do anything to jeopardize their friendship, even wanting more after all these years….and yet never speaking up. How much of Lois lane had he been blind to all these years?