Neo Dissidia Romance

Dealing with Changing

Part 1

I'm on a roll today! This is made for fellow Clerra fan anabel the lady shark, who had supported both previous fics with these two and has favorited both (and followed one). She wanted to see more and since I planned on making a sequel to A Valentine's Fantasy anyway, here we go! (speaking of you, anabel, I'd recommend taking a look at The Misadventures of Mike and Mew. It's only one chapter right now, but next one should be coming possibly later today).

...This actually isn't what I had intended, but came from an idea for the first chapter of that yet-to-be seen fic and took a life of its own.

Enjoy!

"You ready to go?"

"Um….in a minute!" Terra's voice said through the door to her room. Cloud Strife was patiently waiting for her to finish getting ready for their date, though the fact he didn't hear any footsteps or opening of drawers told him there may be complications…

The not-SOLDIER leaned on the wall adjacent to the door, eyes closed and listening attentively to his girlfriend's actions… or lack of them- either way.

'I'll give her another minute or two- if nothing happens I'm coming in.'

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Terra stood at the mirror worriedly. She was far from a vain person, but given what she is… sometimes, abnormal changes occurred that needed attention.

This had started with after her first transformation and finally regaining control of herself with her father's Magicite keeping her Esper form in check and giving her the ability to change into it for short bursts…

…Upon regaining her bearings, however, she had found that every single strand of her pale-to-dirty blonde locks on every inch of her body that had follicles had turned a bright emerald green, and her eyes had turned to a deeper shade of purple-no longer appearing even remotely blue like her usual lavender-azul purple- but more like her father's. Though she did eventually find out how to change the former, the latter was out of her control. This had gotten her more than a few odd and dirty looks afterwards and led to her starting to feel more isolated from others than she had before; adding to that much smaller feeling she had before regarding her magic and past as a slave to the Gestahlian Empire. She had endured it well, and stuck as close as possible to her friends to ease those fears yet there was always that tiny little part of her that whispered horrible things into her ear: "You are alone, you are a freak, you are just a destructive monster"- the works. Terra simply kept going, keeping all of this to herself so as not to be a bother to others.

After her Esper heritage was revealed to her kids and she had gained her true courage from understanding her love for the children and finally regaining that emotion she had sought ever since she learn her feelings had been dampened by the Slave Crown, she had further gained enough control of her Esper form that the time she could spend in it without losing her mind was doubled and her father could help her freely alter those aspects of her appearance.

'But now my father's gone, so I both can't change it or, more importantly, keep my powers locked up till they're really needed…' Terra bit her tongue as she saw her hair, even her eyebrows, had yet again changed hues. She chewed on a strand, worried about what would happen with her date with Cloud.

'This isn't the first time he's seen me like this… this also happened that time he and Luneth first saw me go turn into an Esper when I lost control… that was bad on ssooo many levels regarding where it happened it wasn't funny. But if he sees me like this now… what if he thinks my Esper powers are reaching a high point and I wouldn't be able to hold it back? They're actually sleeping like a kitten (well, their more like a Behemoth) right now- maybe not all that soundly, but still. He wouldn't know that however. I don't want him to have to cancel because of me.'

'What if we do go and the people there act… okay, the hair-dye they have in his world could provide a cover for the real reason it's green.' Terra admitted to herself, her face adopting a sheepish smile on her face when she realized that, 'That wouldn't work if people took a closer look and noted it applied to my eyebrow, but I doubt anyone would pay that much attention.'

The smile vanished when she considered the worst possible alternative, 'But… what if this is somehow a sign that my Esper form really will burst out within me with no input… I doubt it will unless a large-scale burst of pure magic occurs and causes such a spike, but it has happened before because of him… but that does happen, that would endanger hundreds of lives, let alone Cloud's…' Terra was still certain that it would be unlikely, or at least if that did start to happen she'd be able to get outside and let her strength be but to use fighting the monsters that would be outside of town. Still, she couldn't help but worry and think of ways to change her hair color back to blonde simply to ease her own anxiety.

While Terra was grappling with herself, Cloud had decided he'd waited long enough with hearing anything from her room and came in himself to see what the problem was. He slowly opened the door and poked his spiky blonde-haired through, "Ter…?"

He saw her looking at herself in the mirror and noticed immediately what the problem was, "Your hair…"

"CLOUD!" Terra jumped with a shock, looking at the other blonde- well, she wasn't blonde at the moment, but you get the idea- in surprise, embarrassment and a bit of what appeared to be shame, "I- didn't I tell you to wait?"

"I didn't hear anything coming from your room for a while, so I decided to break in myself…" He took a closer look at her. Her outfit was her usual red dress and tights combination, only the red was of a darker hue, "Would you mind telling me what triggered it? I don't think you lost control very recently since you would have told me in that case."

Terra did smile just a little bit at that, glad to see that he didn't come to the conclusion a little part of her had worried about, "No… I'm actually fine right now on that front- probably since I haven't had to fight in a while… though that can also help at times if I can manage to get a hold of it and transform of my own accord for just a little bit to burn some of the build up off…" The Half-Esper explained, tugging at that strand of hair.

Cloud nodded in understanding, used to his girlfriend's special traits at this point, "That's good... so this is just a random occurrence?"

"Mm-hm…." Terra looked down, "But… I'm worried that this could be a si-"

"Try transforming right now." Cloud bluntly suggested, but upon seeing the confused look in her violet eyes, he knew he needed to explain, "If what you said is true, then if you turn into an Esper now, the less likely it will be for you to lose control later."

The Half-Esper shook her head, "It isn't that simple. On the occasions I do Trance willingly, it's always when there's something to fight against and vent that power with. If I were to do it here…"

The Not-SOLDIER put a supporting hand on her shoulder, "Don't worry about it…. I've fought your other form once-"

"You almost DIED once! Please don't put yourself in unnecessary risk for me!" Terra cried in worry, truly concerned about her first ever boyfriend's safety.

Cloud rolled his eyes, and saw there was only one way to get her to do this for herself…

A small peck on the cheek, and the Half-Esper looked up from her worries in surprise, gazing into the blonde's eyes, "Cloud…"

"I trust you." Cloud said simply, his face as stoic as always but he did seem very slightly flushed by what he just did, 'Geez, Cloud. You've had sex with you childhood friend once after making sure you had protection, but doing something as small as that for this one girl makes a little pink? Really?'

But seeing Terra give him that special warm smile of hers... it made it feel worthwhile.

"…Thank you…" The young woman whispered, "Just promise me that you won't… freak out or anything when I do it."

Cloud simply shrugged, "I've seen it happen before- I'll be fine…" The Not-SOLDIER silently groaned to himself, knowing how corny this would sound but said it anyway, "No matter what form you're in, or what shape you take… you're still you. If I really saw you as hideous as an Esper, do you really think I'd we'd be in this stuation in the first place?"

Terra didn't say anything at this, but took it as a sign to go ahead, 'I hope you'll still think that…' The Half-Esper sat down onto her bed in the back of her room, looking into the mirror. She closed her eyes in concentration and reached down inside of her. The young woman tapped that little compressed nexus of tremendous magical power that constituted her other half she kept caged until needed, and let it peacefully flow free; gently guiding it…

Her clothes tore apart and vanished into thin air as a flash of light signaled the transformations start. Her hair blew back as the lavender-blue magic surrounding her lengthened it and turned it into a light, bright, slightly pinkish lavender. Her skin itself also grew a light coat of fur of the same color as her now mane of hair. Around her hands and growing lighter after they passed her wrists and ending near her elbows as well as her feet and growing lighter as well after passing her and ending near her lower thighs, however, this fur grew slightly thicker and took a light purple hue- with lighter tufts near the end of these sections . This purple also went to the ends of her flowing mane.

She opened her eyes for the first time during these morphing periods and saw her nails grow and sharpen, turning her hands and feet into dangerous yellow claws. Her feet were changing shape, turning more into those of a cat or a dog- the difference being that she kept her five toes- well, claws- on each foot.

She felt her teeth sharpen and become fangs like a dog's and her tongue grow thicker 'hairs' like that of an cat's. For the final touch, she saw her face in the mirror and saw that her eye sockets had narrowed slightly (though they were still the same size); her pupils had shrunk a bit and became more cat-like and glowed like her boyfriend's. Other than that, her face was shaped the same.

After seeing all of this, Terra let a few tears run down her cheeks as she now fully comprehended just what she became when she tranced. She could feel that power inherent in it threaten to overwhelm her senses and make her go into a mindless magical rampage, but was able to withhold it for now. She couldn't stay like this, though.

Seeing her sad like this made Cloud feel guilty for talking her into this. "Are you… okay?" He asked worriedly.

After a few seconds, Terra wiped away the tears from her face and nodded, "Yeah… I just got a little overwhelmed is all. I never paid much attention to the way I look as an Esper beyond a very general description- or at least it's been awhile, so really seeing what I looked like…" She shuddered, "Wasn't the most pleasant experience…"

"Mm… I can't say I know myself, but I'd imagine It would…" The not-SOLDIER commented, eyes closed in thought… but the question he really wanted to ask (and the reason he closed his eyes) eventually passed his lips, "Do you always… well, strip when this happens?"

"Eh?!" Terra awkwardly looked away- blush still evident on her face even with that very light coat lavender fur on it, "I-I… well, yes…" The half-Esper twiddled her claws, "The force rips them apart… as for how they come back, I think it has something to do with the return to my usual human form being based on the way I saw myself prior to turning into an Esper… at least, I think that was what my father said- I was more interested in knowing I wouldn't be nude afterwards…"

The blonde snickered at that, getting a glare and another blush from her, "S-stop that! It isn't funny!"

"Not for you, maybe…" Cloud cleared his throat and apologized, "Sorry about that, but… the way you said that…" Terra lowered her glare at this, accepting his apology. With that, Cloud opened his eyes and turned around, "I'll be outside since I think you might want some privacy. If you need me-"

"Don't!" The Esper called out, motioning towards herself, but still not comfortable enough to face him, "Could you please maybe… stay? It would make me feel more at ease if I had someone at my side for this…"

Not SOLDIER looked up in thought, but decided that not only did he owe it to her to comfort her because he was the one who suggested it, but also because he really did care about his Half-Esper girlfriend's difficulties in dealing with the non-human side of her nature, "….Sure."

He took a seat next to her, and found that while she did seem a bit better with someone around, she still wasn't exactly her usual, more chipper self. "Hey…" He paused for a second; thinking over what he was going to say. He figured that she likely deserved to hear this even if it did sound just a little odd to his lips, "If it makes you feel any better… in your own way, you just as pretty as an Esper as you are as a human."

The Half-Esper looked up and was about to grin before realizing, "Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good thing."

This was all she needed to know before burying her face in his chest. Cloud returned the hug with a tiny grin on his face (that says a lot regarding the stiff). Those claws felt odd, but her fur was as soft as her hair was- so he decided stroking it would get him a similar reaction as when he did so in her human form. It did- but this time she really was purring like a cat, and prompting Terra to sink in further, rubbing her body against his.

Cloud backed away, a bit unnerved by the way she had reacted, 'What the hell…? …Did she seriously just rub up against me like a cat?"

Terra snapped out of her daze and apologized profusely, looking away in shame, "I-I'm s-s-sorry a-b-bout that! I don't know what got into me…"

The not-SOLDIER nodded hesitantly in understanding, "It's… it's okay… I get it- your body is still human-shaped, but the way you react to certain actions is… different, because of those non-human traits. Let's just keep that in mind from now on…" The blonde paused for a moment, before adding, "Do you feel better, though?"

The lavender-colored Esper woman seemed to still be embarrassed, but did take in his input on the matter, "Right… and yes, I do… thank you."

Not sure if she wanted to change yet while she had the incredibly rare opportunity of being in control of her power outside of battle, she appeared conflicted as to what to do now. Something flashed in her eyes and Terra looked at Cloud with a beckoning look in her gaze.

"What?"

The Half-Esper blushed scarlet, "Could you maybe… do that again?"

The not-SOLDIER shrugged, "If that's what you want…" He went back to next to his Half-Esper girlfriend and started slowly scratching her head, this time she kept herself from making any sort of awkward movements and simply leaned up against him as she normally did in her human form.

Something Cloud had learned about Terra he had noticed hints of from some of her mannerisms he had seen before "A Valentine's Fantasy" and had realized that evening at Narshe was that she was… a cuddler. She seemed to prefer hugs when familiar with someone and often huddled up next to someone during the nights they had spent traveling when they had no tents. He guessed that it was because that, though not exactly a social butterfly and disliked crowds, she hated feeling alone. It must have been hell for her when she was separated from her friends after Kefka destroyed the world as they had known it…

'Now that I think about it, she essentially said that herself that night." The chocobo-haired blonde mused to himself. 'That feeling of isolation she mentioned earlier...' It then dawned on him just how important he and all of her friends must be to her.

He looked at the Esper resting in his arms, radiating warmth and purring (he was still getting used to that) contently like a cat. With that in mind, he chose to ignore some of the more reserved parts of his nature just to give her a small peck on the cheek.

Terra opened her eyes, smiling when she saw what he did and decided to return in kind… however, a rarely seen, more mischievous side of her decided to go a bit further… and licked the same spot, giving the blonde a shock.

Cloud blinked, but after hearing her let a small giggle out realized, 'She did that on purpose! ...That's a strange sense of humor, but one of which I really have no counter for.'

'That felt odd, but it did the trick…'

"…Just out of curiosity…" Terra asked after a few moments of the awkward silence that the Half-Esper herself brought on, blushing slightly, "But… how did my tongue feel?"

"…Can't you tell?"

She shook her head. She was starting to look like she was getting sick. "I can't really tell everything that's different in my Esper state since I don't feel any different... like it's just-"

"As natural for you as anything is regardless of what form you're in- I get that…." Cloud stood up, but noticed that Terra stayed on the edge of the bed, holding onto her sides in pain, "What's wrong?"

His question was answered in the form of a pained scream as the Half-Esper sparked with the incredibly powerful frantic blood red magic that came when Terra had/was lost/losing control in of her Esper form, "Stop it- stop it- stop IT!

The Not-SOLDIER grabbed her shoulders, "Terra?!"

"I…" She said through now labored breaths, "I… I'm trying to turn back! …But I can't! I don't KNOW!"

Cloud grimaced, and backed away, preparing himself for the worst if necessary.

"I'm… I'm burning- up! …I!"

Terra took the moments of clarity she had left to open the windows and fly away- just until she reached somewhere she could go berserk on some monsters or Manikins until the surge ended…

"…" The not-SOLDIER watched her glide away until she was only a dot in the sky. He looked down, berating himself in his head, 'Damnit! Why did you tell her to do that! You know there's a reason she never does unless she absolutely needs to in a fight! Why the hell didn't you take her warnings more seriously!'

"Because you really thought it would help." A high-pitched voice rang in his head. He looked towards the doorway and saw Mew, Luneth, Mike, and Arc (the version from Neo Dissidia: A New World, A New War) watching from the doorway….

Read on for Part Two! Special Thanks also go to reviewers Drake Clawfang (whose fic Shards of Memory in this section were of great inspiration to me) and Captain Walrus!