"And I have a new proposal for your consideration." Various members of the faculty quietly stifled yawns. The meeting had been going on for—an hour? two hours? three hours? It had been so mind-numbingly boring that it was hard to tell. Colonel Francisco tried to remember what had been said thirty seconds before and failed. Please, Nero! "For a while, I have felt that, considering the atmosphere of our school and our goals and expectations, especially in this time of growing competition from the world's security forces, it might be prudent to—" Raven coughed gently. "Well, anyway, I wanted to raise the idea of a new extracurricular activity. Of course, the students certainly enjoy water polo, but, well, I thought we ought to consider something more… academic."
Francisco grunted. "What's wrong with water polo?"
"Nothing, of course," said Nero smoothly. "It's just not as… perhaps, as intellectually stimulating as, I feel, some of our students…"
"What do you want, then?" Francisco demanded. "Kickboxing? Grappler races? Car races? Helicopter races? Ski races? Snowmobile races?" He seemed to be warming to his theme.
"Well, isn't that just like you?" snorted Mrs. Leon. "That's already what you're doing in class. You're just trying to have more time for yourself, and you already have so much—two hours a week more than I have…" She shot a black look at Nero.
"Ahem," said Raven.
"So you want something sissy?" asked Francisco. "Something like… something like…" His imagination failed him.
"Chess!" said Professor Pike happily.
"Chess?" Francisco asked, horrified.
"A worthy idea," said Nero, "but chess does not really require a group in the same way that something like, say, water polo would."
"Chess?" asked Francisco. "The next thing you'll suggest will be… will be… orchestra or something!"
"Orchestra?" asked Nero. "A fine idea. I heartily approve. HIVEmind will announce auditions tomorrow." Francisco sank down in his chair, clutching his forehead and moaning softly. "Thank you for your excellent suggestion, Colonel."