Book of Lost Memories
Chapter 1: Prologue
A/N: This is a sequel of sorts to Burned. Though it starts off as a sequel, it will change. Anyway, this follows the events leading up to where Burned starts off, and some stuff that I threw in, just to make sense of how Alex wound up killing Josh (sort of). Some of this stuff has nothing to do with the game, and it will be pretty obvious what that is. Other things will be linked to the events of the game, which I will get to in later chapters. Enjoy this, and it is not required that you read this to understand Burned. Most of this is pure speculation only. Before and after the main chapters, seperated by a page break, there will be italic writing in some chapters. This is current Alex, reflecting on what happened in that chapter or the one previous. May be a little confusing at first, but hopefully it will get easier.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Konami and Double Helix take all the credit on the characters and storyline of the game. The rest is mine.
Living with the choices I've made over the past year, I've realized that there is one thing I have overlooked. During my time here, I see that I have always been active, ever since I first thought my brother Joshua was missing. I wasn't active before that, as far as I can remember. Even now, I am actively shaping my life, though sometimes I wonder what it was like to just sit back and let things come. We are in New York now, living lives as different people. I kept my name, but Margaret changed hers. It was for the best though, seeing as she doesn't remember anything of what happened. I keep that buried deep down, and have no intention of revealing the deep dark secret that was her life and mine.
Doing that would be irresponsible. I don't want to cause her pain anymore. She lost everything she had because of me. Had I just swallowed my jealousy, then I would have died, and she would still have Elle. Now I sit here at my desk in the precinct, waiting for the next call. I work sex crimes now, and take each case personally. I know how it feels to be violated, thinking you'll never be whole again. Though it is not in the same sense, it is a violation of the mind, where theirs is one of the body. She works in the DA's office as an executive assistant DA. Working with this unit has fueled her newfound passion, feminism. Thankfully, she hasn't asked me anything. I don't know how I would begin to tell her, even if I decided to tell her the truth.
When I come back to the apartment, I can't stop thinking about everything that happened while we were In Shepherd's Glen. I lost everything I had, even if I didn't want it. Children, family, and friends all lost their lives, and all I can do is sit there and think. The fact is that I am responsible for her happiness. It is a burden that I am more than happy to carry, because she is finally living a good life, not worrying about her husband, not riddled with guilt over her daughters' deaths, and nothing is holding her back. I've never seen her happier.
This is why I hold the truth in, sealing it within the part of my mind that could rot and I wouldn't care. In that particular part is my entire past; my parents, family life, problems, frustrations, and everything to do with Silent Hill. I've decided to write it all down, burying the book somewhere she will never see. Each night, I lie in bed with her in my arms, feeling that each day will allow my plagued mind to be at ease. Though this is partially true, I still feel the stress build, especially when the conversation turns back to that place. We overlooked the age difference a long while ago, realizing that we are all we've got. Nobody else would or could have the slightest clue as to what we've been through, and I want it to stay that way. The only way this past of ours that hangs over me like the mists that still flood those icy streets would be for someone to do some serious digging after we're gone. I will be sure that no man alive finds this record of our lives before the accident that freed her… and saved me.
I will start this record by saying one thing:
They say war is hell, but there are worse things. War changes you, and nobody back home could ever understand. They never understood me. They say you can't go home again… They were wrong. I just don't want to.