This is a humor crack fic between two OC's of mine from my Predator fanfictions. You've not met them before and I'm not sure if this is AU or not from those fics. But enjoy.
Oneshot: Jumping
"Erika," Nan-ku Twei said in his harsh voice, it wasn't that he was angry or anything he just had a lot of trouble forming human words due to his normally mute nature.
"What's up, Big Red?" Erika, who preferred Rikki, asked using her nickname for her lover and mate. When they'd first met she had no idea how to pronounce half of his name so she'd went by calling him Big Red due to his large stature and the bright red of his armor.
"Dhi'ke-de. New clan mate." Rikki 'ah'ed, a new clan mate ment another Yautja had mated with a human. She wondered if she knew the human. Highly unlikely but hey who knew. For a moment Rikki's eyes misted over as she thought of one of her penpal friends. "Erika?"
"Sorry, old human memories." Big Red put a hand on Erika's untamed mane of red hair, his small show of affection. He was pretty young compared to how old some of his kind grew to be yet he was a few hundred years old so unlike most of his clan brothers he was more reserved with his show of affections. Rikki didn't mind, it just meant that when he showed it that it meant more.
"Be nice," Big Red warned before walking passed her and continuing onto his own destination. Erika had a tendency to be rude to newbies until they showed her that they weren't useless and the weak link. A smile passed over her red lips and she made her way to where the new clans mate and his mate should be. She opened the door and took in everyone. Boar, Borg, Ram, City, Hunter, and Forest were there with a new guy. He had on a mask but it wasn't like the others' Biomasks, his was like a human gas mask covering only his mouth.
They all turned to look at her, including the seven female humans there. Her eyes scaned over them all and she knew everyone. Including the new girl. They locked eyes for a moment then Erika turned around and walked right back out. She knew that girl and wished never to see her in person again. "Rikki!" She called and Erika sped her pace up. She could his in her room for the rest of her life, she would not be allowed to enter without permission and Big Red would never give that permission and neither would she.
Entering her room she found Big Red cleaning one of his many samurai swords. He was sat upon a pile of raised furs that made up their bed. He looked up and trilled with curiosity, she'd never returned this fast after a newbie had come aboard. "Rikki!" The girl in the hall cried out loudly but the door slammed shut and Erika typed in the code to lock it.
"I'm never leaving this room again." She informed Big Red who sheathed his sword and sat quietly waiting for her to continue talking. "Remember how for a while I was offline back on Earth before we met? I told you that I had been in the hospital due to an accident. That was halfway not true."
Someone knocked on the door and outside a person yelled, "Rikki, how long are you going to hold that against me?"
"I fell off of a twelve story building with my suicidal friend. Miraculously we survived but after that anytime I was with her we somehow ended up in a numerous amount of situations that required us to jump from high places. I swore when I left the force I would never be with her again but we kept in touch." The knocking had stopped and Erika had hoped that was the end of it.
"What about food?" Erika decided she would starve. The Yautja had a strict rule about no food out of the eating area. "Come, will protect you."
.~:*:~.
A week later Erika was cursing out the girl, "God damn you, Grace!" They were running from a predator, not the Yautja though. It was a Ho-shuk, a dangerous furry predator that was like a large cat from earth. Only those large cats were half the size of this thing and they didn't have two heads. Heads that had many sharp teeth and while one was known to do all the thinking the other was known to do the chasing and hunting. It was also said their pelts were made of the softest fur.
"Cliff ahead!" Grace said with a chuckle.
"I hate you! I am not jumping!"
"When have you not survived a jump with me?" Grace held out a hand as they neared the cliff and Erika bit her lip, looking skeptically at her friend. Then she clasped their hands together.
"We haven't died yet." Then the cliff was upon them and they jumped. The Ho-shuk jumped after them but it felt like hours later when it was only half a minute later when they all hit the bottom. The cold water engulfed Erika and Grace yet they did not lose their grip upon each other and the water slowed them enough that they barely hit the bottom before they were kicking off and resurfacing.
Climbing onto the bank they realized the Ho-shuk had not been so lucky and was laid upon the ground dead, internal organs had to have burst and bones had to have shattered from the fall. Looking up they could see their friend above them. Two Yautja had begun a dangerous decent down the nearly smooth rock wall. One a bright red the other one of the least covered among them.
"What jump was that?" Erika asked.
"I think we hit eighty."
"Nah, eighty was the Murrah Bulding."
