Author's Note: This is a completely different take on Starrk's history and personality. XD Hehehe… also in my other fic, sodomy is not actually illegal, just socially unacceptable. Reading wiki about how it's actually illegal in a lot of countries, with rather gruesome penalties, gave me this idea. Hope you enjoy the first person narrative! I'm aiming for kind of a detective vibe...

So there I was, no shit…

My name is Starrk. Coyote Starrk. You want my history? You'll just have to whistle for it because that's all I've got. Well, and my Lilinette. I'm pretty sure she's my daughter. I can't remember her mother or anything but we have this thing, you know? She says she's fated to be my wife. I beg to differ. We might have to iron that out someday…

Whatever. Right now, I'm in some dude's closet. Well, okay, not just some dude. Kyoraku Shunsui, taichou of the Eighth Division. And what the fuck am I doing in his closet you might ask? I'd like an answer to that myself. This should have been a hell of a lot easier. Why doesn't this douchebag have a window in his bedroom like a normal human being?

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I was hired to spy on him. See, that's what I do. I'm a mercenary. I do all kinds of shit. Spying, kidnapping, counter-kidnapping, stealing but that has to pay really well… you get the drift. The one thing I don't do is assassination. That's not my gig. I've killed people before, you don't live the kind of life I've got without getting your hands wet, but it was mostly self-defense, ya know? I'm not a violent guy. I wish I could go without weapons but I'm not stupid. Shit happens, sometimes.

And how, you might ask, did I get the drop on a taichou? I am just that fucking good. I am the greatest spy not yet picked up by the Onmitsukido. Those guys worry me because I'm pretty sure they've been sniffing me out. Will I eventually get an offer I can't refuse? Well, it'd better fucking pay well, is all I have to say.

Ah, finally, he's getting ready for bed. What, no woman? Apparently this guy has a reputation for sleeping with anyone who says yes. Whoever sent me wants to know who his bed partners are. Not sure why, but I don't give a shit. It's all money in the bank. I'm gonna be pretty pissed if I've been hiding in this closet for nothing. And it's fucking dangerous, too! Am I going to have to do it all again tomorrow? Oh, here's the second guy who owns this house. Another taichou, his name is Juushiro. Hey, wait…

What. The. Fuck? They're kissing and… ah shit. Happy happy camera time but holy shit this was NOT what I'd expected. It's making my pants tight, too. I'm bisexual, the whores in the Rukongai can tell you all about it. My camera keeps quietly flicking as I think about it.

Sex in the Rukongai is sort of an interesting topic. I mean, you've got all these plus souls who don't need to eat and shit. What else are they gonna do aside from kill each other? That's a crowd favorite too. But back to sex. The Rukongai is kind of weird. There's a lot places where two men do not kiss, like, ever. But there's a few neighborhoods that are like, the gay part of town. I live right on the edge of one. It's nice because I can get laid however I want without raising too many eyebrows and at the same time, my clients can get to me without braving the land of hairy chests. What? I like hairy chests. My great weakness.

However, it's a little known fact that sodomy is still against the law. Yeah, try to sell that one to all the husbands desperately trying to make sure the missus doesn't get knocked up. Anyhow, the punishment is beheading. Yes, I am serious. No, this is not a fucking joke. However, I can't remember ever seeing a judge actually say, yeah, we're cutting your head off shorty. However, I have seen it done in the nastier parts of the Rukongai. Let's just say it wasn't neat and leave it at that.

Thing is, though, the Rukongai doesn't really have any laws. Some bits are much better run than others but even then, it's usually run by the criminal element. My part of town is run by the Farakuto family. I get on with them okay. They respect that I'm a free-lancer and in return, I give them a discount on the rare occasion they need my help. All very civilized. I can be civilized, see?

The Seireitei, though, is a place of laws. Even as I'm committing the moment to paper for posterity I'm thinking about it. What would happen to these two if they got outted? Did whoever hired me expect THIS? Shit suddenly got serious. Honestly, I thought I was just going to give someone a laundry list of women's names or maybe, if this guy was starting to settle down, just one or two. I never anticipated something this juicy. What the fuck to do? Could I in fact get them killed? They're both taichou and he's a noble, right? They'd have to be fine!

Unfortunately my logic isn't really working for me. Yeah, Kyoraku is a taichou and a noble. To me that says he's got enemies and the fact that I'm in his closet says they're gunning for him. The white haired dude might just be collateral damage. At the very least someone will be getting fucking awesome blackmail material. Damn. I'm suddenly feeling like I didn't charge enough for this. Wonder if I could renegotiate the rates?

…Fuck. What am I thinking? Am I really going to potentially hand this over to someone who clearly has a boner on to hurt these guys? I mean, decapitation might not be totally off the table here. I'm not a murderer. And well… oh fuck, I should at least be honest with myself. The way these guys are making out is affecting me. After all the times I've spied on people like this, I consider myself a connoisseur of voyeurism. I can tell when two people are just bored and looking for excitement and getting it on, and when two people actually love each other. What I'm seeing in this bed is love. Kinda hurts to see, since my life is a bit bereft of love at the moment, if you don't count Lilinette. Hey, at least I always have my little girl.

And if I'm being all honest with myself, maybe I should admit another thing. Hairy chest out there is getting to me. Damn, I love a man with lots of muscles and a hairy chest. Pisses me off that I'm damn near hairless. All I've got is my beard and my happy patch. Seriously, what the hell? I'd jack off to myself if I had a chest like that. I wonder if I dare jack off to them…? No. No no no! This is a job, damnit. If I start wanking off while I'm working I'm going to have to accept the fact that I'm a pervert. Right now I'm still in denial. Denial, not just a river in Egypt! Where is Egypt? I have no fucking clue…

Oh thank god they're done. My pants are too tight and my cock hurts. Oh shit they're cuddling. This is so loving I could just puke. I mean, I like to see love and all but what the hell am I going to do?

…I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to take these pictures and add them to my personal files, because I might need help urgently someday and these guys don't know it, but they fucking owe me. Then I'm going to tell my client that I failed the mission and give back the money. I mean, sneaking into a taichou's house and hiding in his closet? I can pull this shit off but who else could? Aside from, I dunno, Soi Fon herself. I'll just tell the bastard this nut was too tough to crack. Hopefully he'll let it go. Now I just gotta wait for them to fall asleep. Shit, my cock still hurts! Down boy, down.

This night really sucks.

"Well that was a complete waste of my time." I mutter as I put the pictures in the files. I keep them kido locked and hidden in the ceiling of my bedroom.

"What was a waste of time?" Lilinette. I turn to look at her with a smile.

My little girl. I don't know if she's my daughter but it doesn't matter. I'm raising her, she's mine. And that's how I introduce her because I don't want the neighbors to freak. Even in the bohemian part of town, kid fuckers are not really respected if you get my drift. Of course, this is the Rukongai. Random plus souls show up all the time and often they adopt each other because they can't find their real families. It's sort of sad to see but it makes us pretty typical. Even if we're not related, we're filling the hole in our hearts.

Lilinette's turning into a beautiful girl. These past few years have been kind to her. She's blossoming, starting to fill out, and getting a bit of height on her. I'm sure she's never going to be tall though. Not sure why I think that but I'm willing to bet she'll barely make my chin when she's done. Is that because I know, somewhere inside, that her momma was tiny? Ah, the things I'll never know.

"My night last night. Want to hear about it?" I ask and she nods, reaching up to touch her eye patch. I have no idea when and where she lost that eye. It was gone when we both woke up in the Rukongai, confused and hurting. "So I was hired to spy on this dude..." I leave out all the specifics because Lilinette doesn't care anyway, but quickly get to the meat of the matter. Meat, heh… oh god, bad thoughts, bad thoughts.

"Oh wow. So you're not getting paid." Lilinette can fill in the blanks easily enough and she knows me. She knows I have a huge objection to killing people. It's weird because she doesn't. Lilinette's a hell of a lot more cutthroat than me. Maybe she had a bad childhood. Wait, am I her dad? What does this say about my parenting? Well done dad of the year.

"No, not getting paid. But that's alright. We're pretty flush at the moment." I say before checking the cash box. Oh yeah, it's nice. A lot of jobs, a lot of them well paying. "Hell, I could take a siesta if I wanted." I do that sometimes. A week of doing absolutely dick all. No more than a week though. My customers are generally willing to wait a week but any longer and they start getting impatient and going elsewhere. I can't afford to lose customers. I get a fair bit of repeat action and my word of mouth advertising is pretty good too.

"Why don't you just take one day off? Sounds like you've earned it." Ah, my Lilinette. Reining in my slacking impulses. She has a point though. One day off wouldn't impede the cash flow at all and it'd make me feel better. "Can I come too?" And there's the catch.

"Hey, you've got lessons!" She scowls at me and I glare right back. Seriously? "Come on Lilinette, you get two days off already. I'll take another day off to be with you, how's that?" Because I don't like paying for lessons she's not using. Lilinette's one of only eight pupils that this nice teacher dude is tutoring. He charges a good bit which is fair because that's how he makes a living. I'm glad to pay it but that means I want her butt in the seat.

"Oh fine." She gives in with ill grace. Thank god. "But you better work hard in between! I want you to buy me some ice cream and some new clothes!" So much for a siesta. But her clothes are getting a bit short and I know for a fact we can't let out the hems anymore. We did that just a few months ago. Yeah, my Lilinette is growing. I sigh and nod.

"Yeah, I'll get you some clothes. Now let's get some brekky." Lilinette scampers out of the room as I kido lock the windows and doors. I don't have a zanpakuto – how in hell do you even get one? – but I am a skilled kido witch. A year ago, I managed to hunt down a rogue shinigami and paid him a hell of a lot to teach me. Bastard cleaned me out good but it was worth it. An investment in my future that has paid dividends many's the time.

Now, most plus souls in the Rukongai don't need to eat. But me and Lilinette, we are not most plus souls. I'm powerful and she's showing promise so food is on the table. An annoying expense but you gotta do what you gotta do. And since Lilinette's growing I want her to have the good stuff. For breakfast that means eggs and congee. I wish we could afford bacon or sausages to go in the congee, but it's a needless expense. Lunch is usually a bento box of rice, beans and pickled vegetables, cheap and filling. Supper now, that's where we get the good stuff. Our boarding house serves supper and Mari, the lady who runs the place, is a fucking genius. She can take something as humble as pig trotters and create something delicious. It all gets served with more rice. I'm a bit damned tired of rice, to tell you the truth, but bread's a damned sight more expensive and not any better for you. Let it be rice.

So we ate at the local café and picked up a bento box for Lilinette before I kissed her goodbye. Just a peck on the cheek, damnit! Stop looking at me like that. She scampered off to her lessons as I contemplated what to do with my day off and finally decided to sleep.

What? I like sleeping. And the daylight scene isn't really my thing anyway. I love what happens when it starts getting dark. And I've got a built in alarm clock, it's called Lilinette. Sure enough, she came home well before supper and kicked me awake. Of course, that meant she berated me a lot for wasting my day off. But really, how can sleep be a waste? Sleep is awesome. Ask a guy who can't sleep and he'll tell you all about it.

And now the sun is setting and this is definitely my thing. A few coins to Mari and she'll keep an eye on Lilinette for me. Not that anything would happen to her at the boarding house – I don't have any enemies after me at the moment – but she might get some dumb idea of following me. And that'd be bad because I am on the prowl. I want to get laid. Just thinking about those pictures I took is enough to stir my cock. That puppy needs some action and Lilinette would really queer the deal. Although if I take someone home she'll be there, but then she'll know what to do. There's a reason I sprang for the big place with two bedrooms.

Ah, but what kind of action do I want tonight? I consider one tough guy who looks like he might have a hairy chest before letting it slide. There's something about him that makes me think he might be a ginormous douchebag. And while I don't necessarily object to that for a passing thing, I'm in the mood for some kissing and such. Yes, something almost loving, that's my speed tonight. That guy would probably pound my ass and leave me bleeding. Sometimes I'm into that – masochistic? Oh, a touch – but not tonight.

Then I spot something that interests me. He's almost girlishly pretty, which isn't usually my thing, but I think I'm in a mood to be the one on top. And I just have a feeling he wouldn't object to kisses and sweetness. A lot of guys don't do that very well around here. He's with someone but after watching for a while I'm sure they're not lovers. Baldy is trying to seduce a chick. Not doing too badly, either. She's interested, I can tell.

Briefly I think about seducing a chick but then my attention goes back to pretty boy. I really am in the mood for some cock. He's wearing a nice yukata that looks to have been made for him and I can tell he's really into his own appearance. I think… yeah, I'm sure he's drinking a Double Down. That's a cocktail they make around here. I saunter up to the bar and order one for him and another for myself. Taking it over I make my move.

"Hey. I noticed your drink is getting low. Fancy another?" I purr, letting my body language do all the real talking. Pretty with feathers considers me for a moment before smiling. I think I meet his qualifications for good sexing material.

"You know, I think I do. What's your name, handsome?" Ah yes, he digs me. I smile back, sipping my drink. It tastes great and very alcoholic. A Double Down is a potent thing.

"Coyote Starrk. And you, beautiful?" I say and he stared at me like I just sprouted a second head. "What?" That's weird. He blinks before shaking his head.

"I'm sorry. I've heard that name before… I'm Ayasegawa Yumichika." He introduced himself and I smiled again before sipping my drink.

"And you've heard of me? I'm flattered. I'm getting a reputation, I admit, but my clientele is rather select." I said softly, before licking my bottom lip. Just a slight touch of tongue. I know how to be seductive, oh yeah.

"Really? And what is it you do?" There's a wary hint to his smile. Does he think I might be a prostitute? Probably. I laugh before finishing my drink and ordering us another round.

"A bit of this, a bit of that. Whatever takes my fancy. I'm a bit of a low life scumbag." I admit cheerfully. Hey, it's my identity, I'm proud of it. He blinks and suddenly laughs. "What, you think I'm kidding? Ask my customers, they'll tell ya. And probably tell you my rates are way too high." I've had some bitching about that. But if you want the best you'll pay for it, that's my motto. I only give discounts for the local Yakuza and sometimes, rarely, a really good sob story. "Except for little girls. Don't tell anyone, it'd ruin my image, but I found a lost cat once. My payment was a kiss." It had been beyond cute. Lilinette had been jealous. Yumichiki laughs again. I think I like him. "So what do you do for a living?" I ask.

"I'm a shinigami." He says and that really catches my interest. I want a zanpakuto. No idea how to get one. Maybe I'll ask him later… the morning after, yeah, that would be a good time. I have a sword and I use it all the time but a zanpakuto would be a hell of a lot better.

"Oh yeah? What's it like?" I might as well find out. If I'm right about the Onmitsukido I might be experiencing it sooner rather than later. That's undoubtedly what they're looking at me for, the wankers. Unless they want to use me as a contractor. Could be that too, my morals might not be what they like.

The night goes like I expect. We have fun talking, dance a few times and I take him home with me. Baldy manages to pick up a chick and bids us farewell, off to get his own itch taken care of. When I get Yumichika home he glances around before wrinkling his nose. I quirk an eyebrow at him. Sure, it's not spotless but it's not a pigsty either. Me and Lilinette are not neat freaks but we have a few standards.

"It lacks beauty." He said and I glance around, surprised. Beauty? It's just a place to rest feet. I never really thought of making it beautiful. "Although that's a lovely sketch."

"Oh really?" That does tickle me because… "I made it. You want, you can take one home with you." He looked at me in surprise and I shrugged. "I tried selling the damned things but couldn't make a living at it." Art is just a hobby. If it were me maybe I would make a living at it but it ain't just me. I've got my Lilinette and she needs clothes, schooling, food… kids are expensive. "But this ain't the room I want to show you." I let all the heat go into my voice and we head off to the bedroom.

My bedroom is nice. Not beautiful, I don't much care about that, but comfy. Nice big mattress on the floor with lots and lots of pillows scattered around. They make great props for all kinds of things. Not for tonight though. Tonight… I pull him close and kiss him. He smells really nice, soap and some sweet little cologne. What do I smell like? Probably a wild animal, I've been told that before. He seems to like it if the way he breaths in my hair is anything to go on.

"Hey. I hope you don't mind, but I don't want to just fuck. I want to make love." I say in a husky whisper and I see his eyes widen. Not the kind of request you get every day around this place. "I want it to be… beautiful." His favorite word. That gets to him and he smiles at me, running a hand over my face before pulling me into another kiss. His lips are so warm and alive against mine. I don't love him, I don't even know him but damn. I want to pretend.

"I usually like it a bit rough. But tonight… I think I would like that. Yes, let's make this beautiful." He whispers back to me and I nod, tugging him towards the bed.

This is going to be a damned fine night.