A/N: This is my first fanfic so please be gentle. 'twas something I wrote, then changed it slightly for an English assignment, so here it appears, in full. Review, please. 'tis my twisted names, so don't confuse yourself too much, a list(I guess) of translated names is on the way...
It was a dark and stormy night when Hairy Potamus and Draino Malfunction met for a duel (trying to maim or kill one another with a wand and spells) in the trophy room. "Now I shall kill you once and for all, and Lard Moldywort will be very pleased with me! HAHAHAHA!" laughed Draino Malfunction as he rowed in the flash of the lighting. Hairy Potamus stiffly rowed back while Harmonious Grudger and Wronky Weasel cowered in the corner behind Hairy. "Merlin's beard! I knew this would happen; it always does. What'll happen if Draino kills Hairy?" Harmonious was very worried. "Don't be stupid, Harmonious. Hairy won't get killed. He's already defeated He-who-musty-knot-be-rained-on 4 times. The fifth won't hurt him, and anyway, with all that muddying you made him do for the O.W.L.s, he'll be fine." Harmonious looked indignant. "It was only for his own good, and anyway, you muddied too." Wronky admitted defeat at this. "Still, I think we should call my brothers, Fried and Grog. You know, sometimes Ten-Tongue Coffee works a treat." Just then, Gin-and-Tonic Weasel, Wronky's sister rushed through the doors. "Hairy!" She gasped. "Squilch is coming down the fall now!" A light went out in Draino's eyes. "Grrrr." He said as he talked out of the broom. "I'll bet you next grime!" Gin-and-Tonic, Harmonious, Wronky and Hairy all heard a humongous crash as Victory Salacious Crumb(A/N: sorry, I couldn't resist the temptation) blew through the pained-pass grindylow. Harmonious gave a shriek as she mushed over to Victory. "Oh Victory, are you okay?" Victory phoned and said "I vill be allmight, Harp-on-ious. Here, help me up." Harmonious took a firm lip on Victory's land and heaved him up. "Many spanks, Harp-on-ious." He brushed off his Burmastring robes and skittled off down the wall to his moat on the cake. "Oh dear. That window was very valuable." Harmonious sighed. "Wha-?" Wronky said. "I said, that window was very valuable. Haven't you read Logshorts: A History?" Then they all went back to bed, just before Squilch walked into the trophy room.
Well, whaddaya think? Short, but interesting if I say so myself, and I do.