This story came about following me and a friend watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights and discussing Harry Potter. She asked me if I could imagine the scene between Prince John and the Sheriff of Rottingham when Rottingham is laughing between Dumbledore and Snape following the meeting at Spinners End with Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange. So I did.
A pitcher of mead and two steins sat between them. The thick, heavy aroma of pipe smoke wafting over two men in a tavern. Their table avoided by the riff-raff. A palpable uneasiness in the air. The elder of the two pulled his beard off the floor to avoid the mice and opened a sherbet lemon.
Snape rolled his eyes as the paper fell to the floor forcing the mice to scamper, "You are worse than the students for sweets." Albus nodded enthusiastically. "Certainly am, I like to think this is what keeps me young."
"Immaturity takes care of the rest." Snape toasted with a smirk. He savoured the rich, sweet taste of the mead and placed the glass down gently, "I notice Minerva has changed her hat this week in hope of attracting attention. Whose I wonder?" He looked around the tavern non-chalantley then leaned in, "Not mine, Albus. I am still a child to her. I remember her teaching me, she couldn't abide me then either." Albus swirled the mead around in his mouth with the sherbet lemon making the mead go sour. He looked up under bushy white eyebrows, "For my benefit, you believe? I think you might be right there." He nodded in the direction of a cloaked figure who had just entered. Her plain black dress was new. Her hat also plain and black was new and seemed to stand especially straight. She saw them at the table and strolled over. "Is this seat taken?" Albus gestured to the barmaid, "Only by you Minerva. With what will you be imbibing this evening?" She sat next to Albus rather closer than he would have liked, which forced him to shuffle backwards. "Only Butterbeer for me, thank you." Rosie returned promptly. Snape without so much as a tremor booted Dumbledore under the table.
"Ouch! Is that a new hat Minerva? It certainly highlights the green of your eyes." She flushed and sat up a little straighter, "Well, now that you mention it, it is new. My old one was getting rather shabby." Snape looked around the bar, desperate to be anywhere but here. "But I must admit Albus the reason I have come to you on this glorious day is Hogwarts business. Have you noticed the Malfoy boy is getting rather thin and looks a great deal paler than usual?" Snape swallowed a mouthful of mead the wrong way and began to choke in rather a comical fashion. His face turned sickly grey then blood red. He let out loud whooping-cough style bursts and hissed on inhalation as he tried desperately to breathe. Dumbledore hopped up at once and gave his back such a wallop that it cleared almost as immediately as it'd begun. Minerva glared at him with her usual reproachful stare as if he had intentionally begun to choke to steal the attention of Albus. Snape cautiously took the next sip to ensure the episode did not repeat.
Albus merely took his seat and nodded. "Yes I fear something is building inside young Draco that not one of us is going to like. But I wish I knew what it was." He glanced at Snape from under his eyebrows with a quick nod. Snape looked away, "I will speak to him if you like but I don't think that will do any good."
Minerva missed the significance of the glance and leaned across to Snape. "I know I have no authority within your house but he looks like he might drop dead at any minute. Do you think there are problems at home?" Albus shrugged. "It is possible. You will have words with his mother to determine if that is the case, Severus?" Snape gave a non-committal shrug. Minerva finished her drink and left without another word.
"Do you think it is almost time?" Albus gestured to his right hand, shrivelled and burned. Snape looked around the bar and leaned in. "I do. You'll never guess why."
Albus gestured for him to go on. Snape cracked a genuine smile and began, "You know we always talked about when Draco would try to kill you. (laughs)... well. (laughs).. his mother appears at my door with the family lunatic in tow, Bellatrix, you know (laughs) she asks me to kill you because she doesn't think Draco can... (laughs hysterically)... his own family have no faith. His father in Azkaban and his mother in tatters... (laughs). she made me make an unbreakable vow (laughs). you should have seen Bell (laughs) Bellatrix' face. she couldn't believe it. (laughs). They left with strongest peace of mind that I was on their side. " He sighed. "You're not laughing with me, Albus." Albus gave a weak chuckle, "You find my impending demise at your hands amusing, old friend?" Snape scowled, "It is not you I am laughing at. I simply find it amusing that they came to my home against the Dark Lord's wishes, both in cowls in the middle of the night to beg me to do what we had discussed so long ago. In this very spot you and I." Albus nodded. He cracked a faint smile. "I think I see the absurdity of the situation now. However did you keep a straight face." Snape leaned in, "I kept thinking of what Bellatrix would do to me if she knew. " Albus nodded, "Then you did well. To your continuing good health." He toasted. Snape accepted and raised his glass, "With friends such as these..." Albus nodded. They both drank heartily. "We should be heading back to the school." Snape pushed his empty glass away. Albus gestured to the bar maid again, "Nonsense Severus always time for one more round." Snape seated himself again, "as you wish headmaster."