Chapter 01: Humorous Teaching
"What a beautiful morning." A young man with long blonde hair walked down the street with a big smile. He looked up in the sky and sighed contently. The sky was unusually blue today.
"Good morning!" He waved at the vast sky and fluffy clouds. This young fellow is Gourry Gabriev. His profession? A Physical Education teacher at Private Royal High School. A prestigious school known for the scholars that have attended there and the occurring chaos within the school walls. Everyone questioned why Gourry would accept such a horrid career and move into the busy Kingdom of Saillune when he preferred the quiet content life in the countryside of Elmekia.
"It was the only place where we can be together." He would simply tell them and it was an acceptable answer. Gourry looked down the road, making sure he was going to the right direction. He turned the street corner and smiled to see his school just down the block. Nevertheless, being an educator in Private Royal High School was fun and Gourry knew he could never be happy if he stayed behind. This is where he belonged.
Waiting until all the cars ran through the green light, Gourry spotted a large crowd of girls from different schools gathered in the front gate of his school. As he crossed, one of the girls saw him and shrieked.
"GOURRY-SENSEI!" Immediately, the handsome man was suffocating from the mass of young girls reaching for him. He tried to walk through the crowd except they clung at his clothes and prevented him from entering the school grounds. Trapped, Gourry stopped trying and allowed the girls to bombard him with questions and demands.
"Gourry-Sensei, please, go out with me!"
"No! Go out with me, Gourry-Sensei!"
"I LOVE YOU!" All these girls yearned for his heart and as usual, Gourry would just smile in gratitude.
"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" A sudden scream came from down the street. Gourry recognized the angry voice and looked up with a larger smile. "GET AWAY OR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" He chuckled as the sounds of high-pitch screams and loud crashes got louder. The demon woman was coming.
From where the racket was coming from, a young woman with red hair turned the street corner and raced toward the school. She shoved a young boy to the ground and an old man into the road, her determination to get to school in time was greater than their well-being. Running straight into ongoing traffic, the crazed woman miraculously dodged the fast cars and crossed the lane.
The crowd of girls held their ground. They knew of this despicable Math teacher. She is known in the Kingdom as the 'Bandit Killer' for she alone was responsible of the destruction of the terrorizing horde called 'The Bandit' during her first year at Royal High. She was trouble.
"YOU WILL NOT PASS, LINA INVERSE!" The girls shouted when the merciless woman stepped in front of them. Lina Inverse. Even her name scares big mafia bosses to under their beds.
"GET OUT OF MY WAY." She stomped her black pumps to the ground making the sidewalk crack. "YOU WILL REGRET IT." The girls cringed at her deadly threat but kept their brave front.
"No!" One of the girls shouted with valiance. Lina grabbed this girl from her shirt collar and threw her couple blocks down where she landed painfully in the middle of the road producing a traffic jam. The other girls whimpered when the malevolent monster started walking towards them. A dark aura surrounded her entire tiny body and her ruby eyes glinted with deadly manslaughter.
"Annoying." Lina finally made it to Gourry's side. They watched as the girls fled from the area, screaming their heads off. "Why do they always come here?" She looked up when Gourry sighed.
"They want me to be their boyfriend."
"And…?" Lina cleared her throat with her face just a bit agitated. Gourry noticed her sudden interest and smiled down at her, making her wince.
"I am only interested in you." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, his nose brushed against her soft cheek. Lina gave a loud screech and pushed him away but he foolishly held on. Using her entire strength, she shoved her fist into his gut and was freed from his clutches.
"I-I-IDIOT!" She snarled with a big blush while the tall blonde held his aching stomach. "YOU DESERVE IT!" Gourry just nodded with a painful laugh.
"I was kidding." Straightening himself, he gave her an apologetic smile and walked through the school gates. into the school grounds. Lina rolled her eyes and followed. As the infamous duo walked together through campus, they waved greetings and shouted out to their students. All the female students squealed whenever Gourry acknowledged them.
"Another year," The kids ran past Lina when the morning bell rang. She glanced over to Gourry who was already looking at her. "I hope it won't be as boring as last year."
"Yamasaki did quit so it shouldn't be boring." Gourry obediently took Lina's jacket when she threw it to him. "I wonder who the next Principal is going to be."
"Probably another overachiever who doesn't understand the justice system…" Lina could recollect numerous moments when Yamasaki would address her abnormal hot-temper whilst Gourry wasn't surprised that Yamasaki retired like he did. He did say he wanted to finish his autobiography however Gourry knew that it wasn't just for that reason he retired. They were in walking up the steps of the main building when-
"I CHALLENGE YOU, GABREIV!" He screamed behind them. Gourry and Lina turned and faced a man with a wooden sword in his hands and long black curls. This man pointed the end of his wooden sword at Gourry. "ZANGULAS, THE BIOLOGY INSTRUCTOR, CONTEST YOU, GABREIV, THE IDIOT, TO A MATCH OF SWORDS!"
"When is he going to give up on you?" Lina threw her arms up to scold. "Just admit defeat so we don't have to go through another school year of this same shit, Zangy! I had enough of you during my summer vacation!" However, Zangulas glared at her.
"Don't get in the middle of this, Wench! It is up to Gabriev if he would uphold his honor and accept my contest!" The persistent man looked to his rival. The Royal High students poked their heads out of the classroom windows to watch. Gourry started down the stairs while Lina groaned heavily. When he reached to the playing field, Gourry spotted a tree branch near his feet and picked it off the ground.
"This looks sturdy." He carefully tested the branch's flexibility, only to chuckle when he broke it in half. Zangulas rushed at him with his sharp stick above his head.
"Do not ridicule me with your nonsense!" He shouted. "THIS WILL BE THE DAY YOU ADMIT DEFEAT!" However, Gourry easily dodged the wooden weapon. He darted away from Zangulas' quick sword play multiple times before swinging his broken sword and hitting the back of his rival's neck. Zangulas dropped to all fours and was about to stand up until Gourry pressed the end of his branch at his shoulder. The female onlookers squealed in awe and high praise.
"Until next time?" Gourry gave a kind hand to his defeated foe. Zangulas stared at his welcoming hand and snorted; he got up on his own.
"You fight well, Gabriev." The kendo master strapped his weapon into his belt. "Nonetheless, this will be the final time you triumph over me." Gourry shrugged his shoulders for he did not understand what Zangulas said to him and watched as he walked away from him.
"Loser." Lina stuck her tongue out when Zangulas past her on the stairs.
- o -
What seemed like forever, the duo finally made it to the third floor of the main building and arrived at a room with a door that was labeled 'Teachers'. Once inside, Lina and Gourry greeted their co-workers. Lina let out a loud groan when she sat down onto her chair. Her desktop was a complete mess with papers and books stacked together like non-functioning towers while Gourry's desk was messy with various snacks and sports equipment.
"Good morning!" A woman walked into the office, yelling out happily. Lina sighed when the tall blonde female came to her side. The overworked counselor of Private Royal High School, Filia Ul Copt was known as a strict and demanding person who dislike disobedience and disorderly conduct which was quite bizarre since Lina and Gourry were her really good friends.
"You two are early for the first day! What a nice change!" Filia sat down between the troublemakers. "How was your summer?"
"There was a lot of drinking, sleeping, and going to the beach. Though, it was a pity that you had to go home to visit your family." Lina gave her a sly grin. "How was your summer with you-know-who? I saw that he followed you."
"That Bastard thought showing up at a funeral with a bouquet of roses would make me take him back. I yelled at him in front of my elderly family members. It was just awful."
"Ehhh, he wasn't your type." However, Lina paused for a second to think aloud. "Still... he did have a nice car and lots of money."
"Yes, and really handsome. He was on one knee when he gave me the bouquet..." Filia sighed along with Lina.
"Is that all you girls think about? Men with money?" Gourry laughed next to them. He grabbed an empty blue mug from his desk drawer and leaned forward where his and Lina's desk meet. There, he opened a secret mini-fridge that was hidden behind a green curtain. Inside was a carton of juice and he poured it into his mug.
"That is not ALL girls think about. We had that since last year, Gourry." Lina noted while Gourry took a long sip.
"It's still good." He smiled.
"Hand me a beer-"
"LINA." Filia grabbed the redhead by her cheek, making Lina wince.
"FINE! Hand me a DIET beer." Gourry tossed Lina a can of diet beer and motioned another to Filia.
"I'll have mine after school."
"Are you sure? You don't want to loosen up for the morning assembly?" Lina tempted but Filia stood up from her chair.
"I prefer my tea in the morning." She put her chair back to its original spot. "Please don't drink too much or the new Principal will lecture you just like Yamasaki... Hopefully." Filia sighed and walked out of the office. Gourry gave a loud yawn and stretched his arms over his head.
"What time is the assembly?" He asked. Lina reached to her desk drawer and opened it. It was filled to the brim with vandalism, toys, games, and other things that she had taken from her students. She grabbed a hand held game console and turned it on.
"Who knows...?" Lina muttered with her eyes concentrated on the game. Gourry shrugged and leaned into his chair. His legs lifted to his desk and shut his eyes, quickly falling asleep. Minutes later, a man in a leather jacket entered the office. Other teachers acknowledged his presence however the stoic man made no effort to acknowledge them back. The silver-haired man walked across the room and to his organized desk in front of Lina. When the sound of his motorcycle helmet was placed on the desk, Lina looked away from her game. Her eyes narrowed as she watched this silent man remove his accessories and sit in his seat. Finally, he did notice her staring and took his shades off to match her intensity.
"What-"
"WHY DO YOU HAVE A CELL IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ANSWER IT?" Lina threw her game console at his head. The man easily dodged it. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING, ZEL? YOU ARE MY DESIGNATED DRIVER!"
"I am not your personal driver." Zelgadiss Greywards rolled his eyes as Lina continued to scream at him.
"DAMMIT, YOU FLAKE!" She grabbed a book from her desk and threw it at his head, not caring that her papers spilled over the edge of her desk and spread across the floor. Zelgadiss caught the book skillfully and threw it back, hitting her hard on the forehead. "BASTARD!"
"Attention teachers." A man's voice from the speakers stopped Lina from lunging. "Please gather at the gymnasium for the morning assembly." Submissively, all the teachers stood up from their chairs in the room. "I will be holding a mandatory meeting after school. If you are not present, I will classify you as a spoilsport and will not be invited to the faculty festivity this year." The cheery voice laughed. Lina and Zelgadiss exchanged looks when the broadcast abruptly ended.
"Is that our new Boss?"
"Who else could it be?" Zelgadiss sighed. Seeing that her best friend did not wake yet, Lina shook Gourry awake by crushing her empty beer can against his head. The Idiot opened his eyes and finally saw his good friend; he quickly got off his chair and rushed over.
"Long time no see!" He wrapped an arm around Zelgadiss' shoulders. "We were talking about you the entire summer! I'm glad you're not dead!"
"Yet." Zelgadiss grumbled. Gourry laughed softly and patted his back making Zelgadiss flinch.
"Your bike is mine when you do!" Gourry and Zelgadiss continued their conversation while following Lina and the other teachers out the room.
- o -
The gymnasium was right outside of the main building and the students were already gathered on the bleachers. They released a loud roar when the teachers entered in a single file line. All the students let out cheerful squeal as their favorite teachers appeared in their view. Walking to the center of the gym, they gathered in an organized group and faced proudly at their students. Standing beside the group, a man in a black suit stood in front of the microphone. He watched with a smile as the teachers gathered. Next to him, Filia stood with a clipboard and was checking boxes on a sheet to mark the teacher's attendance.
"Missing the usual." Filia grumbled when there were three boxes unchecked. Suddenly, the students started to scream and she sighed in relief. Lina and Gourry waved their arms as they made their way to the group of teachers, behind them was Zelgadiss and he was lighting a cigarette.
"NO SMOKING." Someone spoke from behind a megaphone. Zelgadiss continued to walk with the cigarette between his lips, choosing to ignore.
"We wanted to make a good first impression." Lina winked when she got to Filia's side. Filia glared but eventually smiled and motioned them to join their colleagues. Gourry and Zelgadiss obliged while Lina stayed, she was more interested in the man next to her friend. Standing a foot taller than her, he had purple shoulder-length hair and curved eyes that were hard to tell where he was gazing.
"You must be the new Boss." Lina faced him. It was at this time, Filia started the assembly and spoke to the students about the School Rules and dress code.
"Who might you be?" The new Principal asked after inspecting her. Lina flipped her long hair off her shoulders and gave a grin.
"Lina Inverse." They shared a sturdy handshake.
"At first, I thought you were a student from your short stature." He immediately regretted speaking the truth when Lina's grip tightened.
"It's nice to meet you too." She gave an icy glare. The man started to snicker at her unfriendly personality. Their hands let go and Lina stomped away to where she needed to be. Her new Boss only continued to snicker. When Filia finally finished her part of the assembly, she motioned to the man in the suit and all the students stood in their seats. His hand raised, acknowledging their respect and waited for the students to sit. Filia nodded to him, addressing that it was his turn now.
"Let us begin with a little prayer." He spoke kindly. "Everyone, please lower your heads and shut your eyes." All heads dropped to the chest.
"This is a new day of knowledge." Suddenly, their new Principal let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his tired slant eyes. The students and teachers who had their eyes open gasped at their deeply sensitive leader.
"I pray- No, I believe that our school will be able to change the lives of millions of students who pass through these walls." He nodded his head slightly. "I believe that our school can transform the many delinquents and the 16 year old single mothers into employees of the fast food industry. I know that our second-rate teachers will be able to influence these lowlifes and convince them to become filthy prostitutes or gold-diggers." The man stopped talking and scanned through his appalled audience. They were speechless.
"My name is Xellos Metallium. You may call me Xellos-Sempai!" He loudly announced and gave an abrupt laughter. Not understanding what had happened, Gourry joined his laughter so the gym was echoing with his and Xellos-Sempai's senseless laughter until Lina elbowed Gourry and Filia threw her clipboard at Xellos, shutting them up immediately.
"Since I am new and unfamiliar with any of you, please properly introduce yourself." Xellos took the microphone from its stand and walked to the first person who was in line.
"Your name is...?"
"Gourry Gabriev." Gourry answered with the microphone near his mouth. The gym roared with high pitch screams.
"Quite the popular teacher." Xellos expressed when all the girls jumped in their seats. "What do you teach, Gabriev-Sensei?"
"I am a Physical Education teacher. I'm teaching Freshmen and Sophomores." All the Junior and Seniors groan in disappointment. "I am also the Head Coach of boys' cross country, boys' basketball, and boys' soccer so please come to our games and cheer for us!" In unison, the girls cheered for their favorite teacher.
"Next?" Xellos stepped to the next person.
"Zelgadiss Greywards. I'm teaching Advance History to Seniors and Intermediate to Sophomores and Juniors." There were students cheering for him too however it immediately got quiet when Zelgadiss gave a glare. Even Xellos stepped back at his hostile disposition and went to the next teacher.
"And you are Lina Inverse." Lina swiped the microphone and held it to her mouth.
"WELCOME BACK, STUDENTS!" The entire gymnasium became an uproar of students screaming and yodeling. "I am the beautiful and powerful Arithmetic Mastermind of Private Royal High, LINA INVERSE! I'm teaching Advance Calculus for Juniors and Seniors. ALSO, I'm going to be the Head Coach of the swimming team and girls' basketball. Let's defeat the boys this time around!" Lina pointed at Coach Gourry and stuck her tongue out. The girls on the bleachers laughed and roared loudly with the aggressive redhead.
Xellos gave a big grin as Lina picked a loud fight with everyone around her. He knew that he was going to enjoy working at his new employment.
- o -
Lina stood in front of the door that led to her first class. She took the doorknob in her hand and confidently opened the door. "Hello!" She cheerfully shouted and immediately, the students groaned.
"We got Inverse again!" Unthawed from their reactions, Lina shut the door behind her and walked to a podium set up for her in the front of the class. She set down her notebooks and daily planner, placing them nicely since it was the first day.
"Now, let's see," Lina opened her notebook. "Let's get attendance over with and-"
"Inverse-Sensei, is it true that you are solely responsible for abolishing the Bandits?" A voice asked from the end of the room. Every year, it was always the same question. And yet, Lina wasn't bored with it so she was going to comply. She raised her head up to the curious student but paused. The voice belonged to her new Boss.
"What are you doing here?" Lina asked rudely. Xellos Metallium was no longer in his black suit, he was in a boy's school uniform instead. He got out of his seat and skipped to the front.
"I want to know more about my employees." Lina stared at him in disbelief. Xellos grabbed an empty chair from the side and sat down with his legs crossed elegantly. "Please continue." He motioned but Lina was still unsure. Eventually, she did begin her story.
"Yes, it's true-"
"Amazing!" Xellos screeched, interrupting Lina suddenly. The entire classroom watched their new Principal share the podium with their teacher. "What a great story! Although I want to hear the rest of it, I must continue onto my journey!" The wacky man rushed out of the classroom and ran through the hallways, singing his heart out with no care in the world.
- o -
Xellos was merely skipping through the main hallway in the Administration Building when he saw a young female standing nervously in front of his door. Hesitantly, she was reaching for the doorknob but was retracting her shaky hand. Fresh out of the University, this was her first career and she was undoubtedly full of butterflies.
"You must be the new Nurse!" The woman screeched when Xellos appeared from out of nowhere. He smiled to see her horrified expression and unsure eyes. "I'm Xellos Metallium. You may call me, Xellos-Sempai." He took her hands in his and shook it generously.
"I-I'm Amelia... A-A-Amelia Saillune." She whispered nervously until she noticed the student uniform. "Um, wait... Are… Are you the Principal?"
"You mustn't judge a book by its cover." Xellos proceeded to tell her that he was in a covert mission to blend in with the students.
"You are quite young." He abruptly added, making her blush. Xellos then wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her away from his office. "You must meet everyone. I will introduce you to them!"
"Um, alright, Metall-"
"No, no." He stopped her. "I'm Xellos-Sempai and you are Amelia-Chan." Perhaps it was her oblivious character and she did not notice that this Principal was actually a pervert, but she replied back with a great smile and nodded.
"Okay, Xellos-Sempai."
"My, we are getting along quite well, aren't we?" Xellos continued to guide her down the hallway. Amelia joined his laughter however ended when they stopped in front of an office and Xellos kicked down the door. He shoved himself and Amelia inside, not caring about the door under their feet. The Counselor spat out her tea from the sudden interruption and screamed.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Xellos grabbed Amelia securely by her shoulders, stopping her from wiggling away.
"Meet the new Nurse." He pushed Amelia into the view of the enraged woman. "Amelia-Chan, this is Fi-Chan, our one and only Counselor."
"My name is FILIA ULCOPT." Filia growled loudly at Xellos but politely smiled at Amelia. "Welcome to Private Royal High School. Hopefully, Metallium-San won't-"
"XELLOS-SEMPAI." Xellos corrected her.
"This NAMAGOMI won't scare you away." Filia snarled instead. Amelia glanced at Xellos' persistent smile to Filia's deathly glare. Trapped between the older adults, she decided to end the awkward atmosphere.
"It was so nice to meet you, UlCopt-San. I hope we get to talk real soon." Quickly, Amelia grabbed Xellos' arm and dragged him out of the office before things got more out of hand. Once gone from her sight, Filia gave a loud groan and took her throbbing forehead.
"Why... me?"
- o -
"And here, Amelia-Chan, is the Arithmetic department." Amelia looked through the windows on the doors. She noticed that the educators taught their students with big smiles and then, she reached a particular door with deep scratches and damage.
"YOU IDIOT! THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER!" Lina threw the thick textbook at a youngster's skull. "GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT." She pointed and watched him gloomily walk away. "YOU! Get up here!"
"You are interested in Inverse-Sensei." Xellos noted Amelia staring intently at Lina.
"C-Can she do that?" Xellos joined her at peering through the door window.
"Are you serious?" Lina observed her student fearfully write down the answer on the chalkboard. "That is WRONG, YOU MORON." The redhead swiped the chalk from the student's hand. "GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT! THE NEXT PERSON, GET UP HERE!"
"She certainly knows how to give commands." Xellos took the doorknob and tried to open it. Lina heard the bothersome clatter and looked over. She spotted Xellos and an unfamiliar face.
"What is he doing here again?" Lina went to the door and removed the locks she had set up after her first incident with Xellos. "What do YOU want?" She asked the instant she opened the door.
"I wanted to introduce you to our new Nurse." Xellos smiled. She merely snorted and looked at Amelia who jumped at the sight of threatening eyes.
"H-Hello!"
"What happened to the old one?" Lina questioned.
"Don't you remember?" One of her students shouted. "You broke her in half last year."
"Oh right. I forgot." Lina smirked with a chuckle. Amelia squirmed and moved closer to Xellos. "Mind your own business! We're having a grown-up conversation!" She shouted at her student and faced Amelia again, smiling this time.
"Lina Inverse. You will see my students frequently."
"I-I-I'm Amelia Saillune." Amelia whimpered. "W-W-Well, I don't want to i-interrupt your class s-s-so we'll just be on our way-"
"Nonsense!" Xellos shouted abruptly. "We are not interrupting this fire-breathing killer! She's not even teaching her kids appropriately." Amelia noticed the dark aura surrounding Lina and tugged on Xellos' arm fearfully.
"O-Oh but I think we should go."
"Yes... you need to get out of here. NOW." Lina snarled deep from her throat. Xellos once again wrapped his arm around Amelia's shoulder and lead her away.
- o -
"Um, Xellos-Sempai?" Amelia called when they stopped to their next classroom. "I don't need to meet everybody in school-"
"Now, Amelia-Chan, if you want to be an employee, one of the requirements is to know who you are working with. Besides, aren't we having fun?" The Principal asked and Amelia nodded slowly. She was wondering if she should just tell him the truth or not. "Now, let's see if Greywards-Sensei is busy." Xellos turned to the door and stared at the doorknob that stood in his way.
"HELLO!" Instead of using the doorknob, he kicked the door open and stormed inside. Zelgadiss looked at him with wide eyes. He stood at his podium and had five male students writing lines on the chalkboard.
"What the hell are you doing? You better fix that damn door!" He pointed at the damaged door that has been kicked out of its hinges.
"Now, is that any way to speak to your Boss?" Xellos gave a heavy sigh. Zelgadiss threw his textbook down and stomped up to the grinning fool. Before he could say any threats, Amelia hurried into the room.
"Xellos-Sempai, that was so rude!" She scolded but for a different reason. "I thought you were going into the other classroom! I made a fool of myself alone!" Zelgadiss stared at the young woman. She had a cute face with a slender and curvy body. Her eyes were large with innocence and immaturity. Her clothes were revealing and tight, it made his eyebrows rise. Finally, Amelia noticed him. She cupped her hands behind her back and smiled at him politely.
"Hello. My name is Amelia Saillune. I'm the new Nurse." Zelgadiss kept silent, merely staring at her kind smile.
"Aren't you going to introduce yourself?" Xellos elbowed the man in his ribs, breaking his silence.
"Zelgadiss Greywards." He spoke softly. "I teach History."
"Oh, History! I love History!" Amelia gasped aloud with her hands clapping together. "It's my favorite school subject!"
"That's... nice." Zelgadiss lowered his eyes to his feet. She was confused on why he wasn't meeting with her eyes so she bent her head down to see if there was something on his shoes than she looked to his students. They were all male and were staring at her with blushes and drool leaving their mouths. Zelgadiss spotted their intent gawk too and drew their attention to him.
"Get back to your work." He ordered and walked back to his podium. "Continue with your lines." He snapped at the five kids on the chalkboard.
"Since Greywards-Sensei is known for his merciless, antagonistic nature, he can handle reluctant kids, like these." Xellos mentioned to Amelia. "You shouldn't hang around with him, Amelia-Chan. He'll just ruin that wonderful smile on your face." He took Amelia by the hand and guided her to the door.
"But... He seems nice." Amelia looked over her shoulder and saw Zelgadiss watching her from behind. She smiled and waved her hand at him, which made him look away instantly.
"It was nice meeting you, Greywards-Sensei! M-Maybe I can sit in your classroom one day and watch you teach!" Once she was out of the room, Zelgadiss leaned his face against his palm and released a tense, heavy grumble.
"What the hell... Her smile." He raised his eyes to see his students staring intently at him. "What?"
"It's alright, Greywards." Some of the delinquents said. "You don't need her."
"Girls are so over rated."
"If you want a girl, just go down the street."
"It's alright, Greywards, you still have us."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET BACK TO WORK!" The kids roared in laughter but it quickly died down when Zelgadiss ordered another set of pages for homework and threw his podium against the wall.
- o -
Gourry dribbled the ball down the basketball court and past the boys. He easily dodged their blocking arms and moved through them. Gourry spotted the basket and threw the ball. It brilliantly went through with ease.
"GOURRY-SENSEI, YOU'RE THE BEST!" The girls screamed in delight at the sidelines. Gourry waved his hand to them making them sigh in awe. His male students panted and puffed heavily next to him.
"How do you have remaining energy to go against all of us?" One student asked as he leaned against teammate. Gourry smiled.
"I have a secret." He said suddenly. Gourry chuckled at their wondrous expressions. "Breakfast." He finally told them. The students nodded with gasps. "Yup, as long as I have breakfast every morning, I will be able to accomplish anything." He then began to loosen his tie. "Though, I am kind of hot in these clothes."
"We told you to change, Gourry-Sensei. You can't play basketball in that." A student said next to him. Gourry nodded and began unbuttoning his shirt.
"Alright then." He removed his collared shirt off and showed off his muscularly toned, wide upper body. The girls squealed and rushed at him.
"Gourry-Sensei, you are so perfect!"
"Can I touch you?"
"MARRY ME!" Their greedy hands reached for their handsome teacher whilst he wiped his sweaty body with his used shirt.
"Did I do something?" Gourry tilted his head as the girls kept screaming for him. His male students let out a heavy sigh and watched the girls run after their perfect teacher all across the court.
"At least he's dumb." One muttered and the rest just nodded their heads.
- o -
Lina decided to leave her class for a 'bathroom break'. While leaning against the gate that surrounded the basketball court, she watched Gourry demonstrated dribbling to his kids. The kids tried to copy his technique however didn't have complete ball control to start going down the court like their teacher was doing. Once closer to the basket, Gourry shot the ball in and bowed playfully to his students' loud cheers. He was in the middle of retrieving the ball when Lina swiped it from his fingertips and expertly dribbled around his figure. He smiled at her sudden appearance and followed her to the middle of the court.
"One-on-one?" Gourry suggested. Using one hand to control the ball, Lina looked at her wristwatch for the time.
"First to 3 wins." This bathroom break can last for another 10 minutes. All the students ran to the sideline to watch the popular teachers begin their match. Lina threw the ball to Gourry, taking this time to take off her jacket and stretch her nimble legs. She caught the ball when it thrown to her and after dribbling for a few seconds, she began the game by passing the ball back to Gourry.
Gourry sprinted to one end of the court, expertly dribbling the ball until Lina blocked him from getting anymore closer to the basket. She was more athletic than most women and men who towered over her in height and weight however with Gourry, it was an equal match-up. Lina cursed when he faked left causing her to lose balance for a moment and allowed him to take her right side and shoot the ball precisely into the basket.
"Losing your touch?" He teased. Lina grabbed the ball from the ground and stuck her tongue at him.
"You're gonna regret saying that." She went into a full sprint with the ball and Gourry was right at her side. The basket was wide open for her to shoot and when she jumped to do it, Gourry's long reach slapped the ball from her grasp and he began to run to the other side of the court. Fully engaged in the game, Gourry and Lina didn't speak another word as they faced each other. Lunging forward, Lina was able to steal the ball from Gourry's hand and sprinted to her basket. She had a big enough distance from Gourry that she knew he wouldn't be able to snatch the ball this time and jumped as high as she could in the air. The students gasped and screamed in amazement when Lina dunked the ball into the basket. She held onto the rim for a few seconds before landing back on the ground. Her eyes widen when she unexpectedly didn't regain her balance and began stumbling backwards. Instead of crashing to the ground, Gourry came from behind and his strong supporting arms caught her, making Lina land perfectly against his chest. Seeing that she was rescued at the last second, Lina looked up at the face of her rescuer and smiled.
It was Lina's smile, the bait on the fishing line that got Gourry hooked. Lina always had a strong-willed and poised smile on her face but it was this happy and playful smile that he treasured. It felt genuine, different, and unguarded. It made him feel like her knight than her best friend. Suddenly, it reminded him. Gourry looked immediately away from her beautiful smile. They were best friends. Nothing more.
"Thanks Gourry." Lina pushed herself up and stretched her arms. "I needed that." He just nodded and went to collect the ball. It was at this moment that Lina noticed the kids. They were all watching and shaking with adrenaline from watching such an intense game. This made Lina grin. She knew exactly what to do with kids so jittery.
"FREE PERIOD!" The students roared in excitement and ran away from the court to fulfill their own desire. Lina laughed in delight and watch Gourry try to take control of his wild students. Once he did, he went back to where Lina was leaning against the fence and relaxed next to her.
"That wasn't nice..." He gave a loud, exhausted sigh. The redhead gave a final snicker and turned her body towards him.
"I heard about a new barbecue joint from the kids. Let's go after our meeting with the new boss."
"I got soccer try-outs."
"Soccer try-outs." Lina repeated with disgust and crossed her arms behind her head. "Is the most Prettiest Teacher of the whole school going to be there?"
"Prettiest Teacher? I don't know." Gourry didn't understand what she was asking him. Surely, Lina would know if she, herself, was going to be there.
"It's the BOYS soccer try-outs, not the GIRLS. I don't know why Sylphiel has to 'help out'." Lina angrily grumbled and kicked her right foot outward.
"Oh, you were talking about Sylphiel." Gourry chuckled but it just made Lina grumble even more. "Well, Sylphiel and I are the only Physical Education Teachers in this school and she did volunteer as my Assistant Coach this year."
"She didn't have too. You should've..." Lina stopped herself from talking more on that subject and gave Gourry a final glare. "Whatever. Just hurry up with the try-outs so we can get dinner afterwards."
"You know," He wanted to say one final thing. "I did ask you to be my Assistant Coach but you said that you were busy and-"
"I was tired when you asked me! And you asked me once! I would've said yes if you asked me a second time!" Lina quickly made excuses. Gourry shrugged his shoulders and Lina gave a loud grumble.
"But you didn't because Miss Perfect volunteered and you were just FINE with that." The redhead turned away from him so he didn't see her annoyed expression. As she grumbled curses beneath her breath, she did not notice Gourry closing the gap between them.
"Lina." He placed his hands on her shoulders and Lina stopped grumbling immediately. Gourry was standing directly behind her, his body crouched slightly in half and his mouth behind her left ear. Gently, he moved her loose strands away from her neck so he can whisper properly.
"Filia made me take Sylphiel as my Assistant Coach." Gourry said honestly. Lina's large eyes stayed frozen aimlessly at nothing. Her mouth was open to say something but nothing was coming out.
"If I had a choice..." His mouth was so close to her ear that she could feel his breath splashing against her skin. Lina took in a wad of spit to wet her dry mouth but it wasn't enough so she cleared her throat. It should've disturbed the moment however Gourry didn't move away. Instead, he pulled her shoulder and made her look back at him. They stared into each other's eyes.
"It'll always be you." Moving his thick fingers upward, he grazed her cheek with the back of his fingertips. His touch stopped her breathing. What was he doing to her, she wondered. This man was touching her and it confused her.
"Are you two seeing each other?" A girl suddenly asked from besides them. There was a crowd of girls crowding around them and Lina's mouth dropped in shock.
"OF COURSE NOT!" She jumped away from Gourry. "I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH THIS DUMMY! EVER!" The students looked to Gourry sternly and he smiled.
"You girls don't have anything to worry about. Lina and I have been best friends since High School." He went to their side and patted the tops of their heads which made them giggle. Gourry gave a bothering statement. "We'll never be more than that."
Lina watched as he walked away without saying another word to her. She gave a deep sigh and walked the opposite direction to her job. Unbeknownst to Gourry, it was a bothering statement for both of them.
- o -
Her entire body was jittery and trembling with excitement. "One more minute." Lina gripped on the chalk in her hand as the minute hands on the clock almost touched each other.
"Come on... come on..." Her eyes widen. "15 seconds…" She stuffed everything on the podium into her portfolio and rushed to the classroom door. "Do the assigned lesson on Chapter 1 and 2. I want it done in the morning and piled on my desk before I get to class. And another thing-"
"RING! RING! RING!"
"I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Lina raced down the empty hallway. She jumped down from the 3rd floor window just near by the gymnasium and landed safely on her two feet. Straightening herself, she looked up when she heard a sharp noise. Gourry stood yards away with the same fire in his eyes like hers.
"It's mine." Lina dumped her portfolio to the ground, uncaring of its contents. Gourry made a quick dash for it with Lina following close behind. They ran past the school security guards and into the main building, past the offices where Filia was just walking out.
"What the-! Lina, Gourry!" Filia returned into her office to make way for them. "NO RUNNING!" They ignored her and turned the corner harshly. Just a few yards away, the cafeteria double doors was opened and ready for the lunch rush. Gourry ran in first, Lina a close second. There was nobody inside just yet. Each grabbed a blue trey and sprinted to the start of the line where a large elderly woman stood with a big smile and a hot steaming plate of lasagna in front of her. In a desperate move, Lina saw an opening at the side of Gourry's face and swung her blue trey. Her trey slapped Gourry's head and sent him flying into the display of utensils. She reached to the woman first and panted heavily in front of her whilst the woman just laughed. Gourry sat up painfully and groaned to find Lina at the start of the line.
"I... I would like... 4." Lina raised 4 fingers in the air. The woman nodded and grabbed a plate from the side. She cut 4 large slices of hot steaming lasagna and placed it on top of each other on the plate. Grinning with great pride, Lina turned to face Gourry.
"NOBODY BEATS LINA INVERSE!" She shouted victoriously. Gourry sighed and stood up from the pile of utensils.
"I'll have the same amount, Gertrude." The older woman laughed and did the same amount for him.
"You two are always competing to get the first plate at lunch. I guess it will be the same for this new school year as well."
"It's tradition!" Lina explained and eyed Gourry. "And I'm winning so far." She slid her trey to the next lunch lady. "They have macaroni and cheese! I want 4 scoops! The biggest scoops you got, Eunice!" The lunch ladies in line laughed and grabbed their largest size scoops, waiting for their turn for the lovable duo. At the end of the line with 2 full, stacked filled treys, Lina and Gourry gladly gave their dollar and made their way to the nearest table in the cafeteria. Eventually, the cafeteria started filling just when Lina and Gourry started eating. The returning students were quite familiar of the grotesque performance of what takes place at every lunch period so they would not look upon the two as they gobbled their feast. Unlike them, the new students stared immediately at the two teachers and left quickly after to keep their stomachs intact.
"Hey Zel!" Gourry greeted when his friend sat next to him. Zelgadiss said nothing, he continued to smoke a cigarette and read the newspaper with detached eyes. "How's your first day of school?"
"The same as every year." Zelgadiss mumbled and flipped a page.
"Not this year. Did you guys meet the new school nurse?" Gourry grinned. "She's really nice. I like her."
"She's okay." Lina put a spoonful of lasagna in her mouth. "I saw her again during my free period. Poor thing was struggling to get away from Metallium."
"She walked in during my second class and played a round of basketball with the kids. She's good, could probably score a few against you, Lina."
"Don't joke around, Gourry." The redhead rolled her eyes. "What do you think of the new meat, Zel?"
"She has a nice smile." Zelgadiss muttered unexpectedly causing Lina and Gourry to spit their food out. He immediately realized what he had said and tried to correct the situation. "I mean- She's okay."
"That is the first time you complimented a female species." Lina said startlingly. Gourry nodded with the same emotion. Zelgadiss glared at them.
"I gave many compliments before." He ruffled his newspaper pages at their faces.
"She's really pretty, right, Zel?" Gourry smiled teasingly. Zelgadiss tapped the ashes of his cigarette into Gourry's empty plastic bowl and snorted.
"I didn't notice."
"But you noticed that she had a nice smile." Lina joined in on the teasing.
"Maybe you should ask her out? She's really nice." Gourry suggested. Zelgadiss rolled his eyes.
"I'm perfectly fine on my own."
"You are quite a loner, aren't you, Greywards-Sensei?" Zelgadiss and Gourry looked behind them and there, Xellos smiled. He was still in the boy's uniform and carried a lunch trey with a large bowl of vanilla pudding and chocolate sprinkles. He walked around the table and sat next to Lina, in which she scooted inches away.
"My door is still broken." Zelgadiss reminded him however the Principal didn't bother.
"Is there something wrong with the new School Nurse other than how incredibly gorgeous she is?" Xellos asked with a grin. Gourry elbowed Zelgadiss with a chuckle and grin. Zelgadiss glared at him even more and returnd to his newspaper.
"She's not THAT pretty." Lina snorted.
"Spoken like a true woman." Xellos mentioned while pointing to her face with his spoon. "Scorched with jealous fire." Lina snapped her jaws at his spoon and he laughed.
"Amelia-Chan recently graduated from Saillune University with high honors. Though, she is quite inexperienced with children, I believe she is the best candidate for the position." He nodded. "I personally reached out to her once she graduated and thankfully, she accepted with such great delight! She is quite a cute little female." Xellos twirled his spoon in the pudding and did not stop when he finished speaking.
"Stop playing with your food. You behave like a child." Lina raised an eyebrow when Xellos wagged his finger at her face.
"I am the new Principal." He told him with a grin and leaned close. "I wonder who would hire such a crazy fire-breathing hot temper killer to their school? Even if your education is marked as one of the best in Saillune, your personality kills your perfect record." Lina was stunned at the sudden threat so Xellos reached over and gave a playful tug on her cheek breaking her paralysis.
"Lighten up. I couldn't possibly do that to one of my precious teachers, now, would I?" Xellos laughed when Lina scowled at him. Patting the top of her head and Zelgadiss' shoulder, the new boss moved away from their table and back to his student adventure.
"Who the hell does he think he is? Barging into our lunch and saying shit like that." Lina watched as the lanky Principal snaked his way past the students, sneakily stealing food from their treys and eating it happily.
"That Idiot needs to be taught a lesson and I know what kind of lesson it should be." She began cracking her knuckles with a suspicious snicker until Zelgadiss let out a loud snort.
"His authority overpowers us." He glanced between the clueless expressions on Lina and Gourry's faces. "That bastard is right. Who is going to hire me, an idiot gym teacher, and a hot-tempered killer who breathes fire?" The hot-tempered killer glared and he ignored it. Zelgadiss took his cigarette from his lips and rubbed the end on an empty plate.
"We're out of our league here." He told them. "This bastard isn't as blasé as the old man was."
"Why the hell did Yamasaki retire in the first place? He couldn't write his life-long autobiography while being the Principal?" Lina grumbled while Zelgadiss and Gourry gave knowing glances to each other. Folding his newspaper under his arm, Zelgadiss rose out of his seat and left the table without a farewell. It was at that moment when Lina saw Gourry staring at her. His eyebrows curled in the middle and nose scrunched, the Idiot was puzzled.
"What is it this time?"
"What does blasé mean?" He asked and Lina just groaned.
"How did you become a teacher?"
- o -
The first day of school was over. Gourry sighed in great relief and released his tie. Dribbling the last basketball across the court, he picked up the sack of equipment and carried it over his shoulder as he made his way to the locker rooms.
"Gourry-Sama!" Somebody was calling him from behind and so he turned around. Sylphiel, the female Physical Education teacher, came sprinting towards him. Wearing matching blue sweat clothes, she had her jacket open to reveal a simple white tank top and the whistle around her neck. Her smile went wider when she noticed Gourry waiting for her, making her run faster.
"Hi Sylphiel!" Gourry greeted when she got to his side. The long blue-haired woman tucked her loose hair behind her ear nervously and happily nodded. "How was your summer?" He asked and returned to walking. Sylphiel followed quickly at his heels.
"My family reunion was fun." Her hands nervously waved at her sides, unable to stay still. "H-How was your summer?"
"Lina and I got drunk everyday and ended up getting kicked out of every bar in Saillune by the end of the 1st week." He laughed aloud and Sylphiel rolled her eyes a bit.
"You were with Lina? The entire time?" She pouted with a bit of annoyance. Gourry didn't notice and nodded. "Well, as long as you and Lina did not hurt yourselves and... and are still friends..." Sylphiel nervously said and looked to Gourry's expression for a reaction.
"We were careful and we're still friends." He entered the lockers with Sylphiel and dropped the equipment next to his office. Sylphiel bounced happily to hear that nothing had changed between the two friends. She opened her mouth to continue talking however Gourry had taken off his shirt and was showing off his naked upper body. Slyphiel turned quickly around and frantically shouted.
"G-G-Gourry-Sama! Y-Y-You mustn't change now! I am here! I-I mean... if this is what you intended to do from the very start... I don't... mind." Her heart was pounding so fast and she was about to faint! Confused, Gourry proceeded to wipe the sweat off his body with a towel.
"But I'm hot." He told her. Her eyes tightly closed as Sylphiel pushed her hands against her burning cheeks and embarrassingly shook her head.
"Oh, Gourry-Sama, I know you are hot… you are very hot." Her body swayed with anxiety and awkwardness. Walking past her, he went into his office and grabbed his more comfortable clothes. He came out just as Sylphiel was opening her eyes. Her eyes widen when Gourry undid his belt and hooked his thumbs into the tops of his dressed pants.
"GOURRY-SAMA!" She turned around immediately.
"I don't mind, Sylphiel. I changed in front of you before." He took his dress pants and shoes off, allowing Sylphiel to see him in red boxers however she was about to die from embarrassment. Putting on jeans and white sneakers instead, Gourry was in the middle of tying his shoe laces when Sylphiel bravely opened her eyes slowly. She looked upon Gourry without a shirt and blushed deeply at his sculpted muscular built. He was built like a Greek God and she couldn't help but swoon over him. While putting on a blue shirt, Gourry suddenly remembered.
"We have that teacher's meeting, don't we?" He asked. Sylphiel gasped aloud; she was heading over there until she spotted Gourry at the basketball court and his existence made her forget!
"We have to hurry!" Running side-by-side out the locker room, they ran straight into the main building and rushed up the long staircase. Through the hallway and to the Principal's office at the end, the two teachers kicked the door open. Gourry and Sylphiel panted heavily at the broken doorway while the other teachers looked on with shock. Near the Principal's desk, Lina crossed her arms and gave a knowing look to Gourry.
"Late as ever." She shook her head and finally saw Sylphiel beside him. The two ladies met eyes for a few intense seconds before Gourry broke the chain as he walked through the gaze to get to where Lina and Zelgadiss stood. Sylphiel pouted and went the opposite direction while Lina just smiled. Finally, later then everyone, Xellos entered the room casually. He paused for a second to see his broken door and nodded in appreciation.
"Hello." Xellos went behind his desk and sat down. He looked at the adults in his office and saw a status quo. There were 3 groups formed in the office. In one group stood Lina, Gourry, and Zelgadiss while in a separate group stood Sylphiel and Zangulas. Lastly, in the third group were other teachers who simply were not involved with one another. Xellos shrugged his shoulders and looked at the stack of papers on his desk. The teachers watched as their new boss flipped through papers and suck his lukewarm drink noisily through a weak straw. Annoyed, Lina swiped the drink from his hand and threw it at his wall where there was a painted portrait of him. This did not bring out a reaction, instead Xellos smiled and leaned into his chair, watching his favorite teacher throw a fit.
"This meeting better be important, Metallium, cause I'm already late for dinner." She tried to intimidate but Xellos just started to laugh causing her to look back at Gourry and Zelgadiss in confusion. His laughter died down eventually and he gave a deep sigh of contentment before announcing an upcoming tragedy.
"After this school year, Private Royal High School is closing its doors forever."
- 01 -
Humorous Teaching