Dear Kurt,
I'm sorry. For everything.
I'm sorry I'm such a fucked-up freak.
I'm sorry you ever had to put up with me.
I'm sorry you even have to read this, 'cause I'm not even worth it.
I'm sorry for everything I said to you that made you sad. I'm NOT sorry for all the nice things I said, cause I meant them, I really did.
You're absolutely perfect.
I'm not. I know this.
I know how much of a worthless piece of shit I am; my father makes sure I know that. Every single fucking day.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that tomorrow morning when you wake up and come over; I won't be here to greet you. I won't be here to kiss you. I won't be here to lie to you; tell you that I'm okay.
I'm not okay.
I hope the place I'm going to isn't a 'better place', cause I don't deserve better. I deserve worse.
Worse worse worse worse worse.
From tomorrow, I won't be here to bother you anymore.
Thank you so much for trying to help me out, but I'm sorry that you couldn't. I can't be helped.
I'm just such a failure.
I have rope. I'm doing it painlessly, like I know you'd want me to.
I want to hurt myself as much as possible, God knows I deserve it. But to be honest, I can't feel anything anymore.
Except our last kiss we shared about an hour ago. God, I'll never forget the way that felt; how sweet you tasted and how soft your lips were.
That's the one thing I'll miss when I'm gone.
You.
I love you so much, but I know you don't need my love. What's it worth? The love of a depressed freak?
Goodbye, Kurt,
Blaine xo