A/N: Hi, this is my attempt for a new story, give me a word if it is worthwhile in pursuing. Million Thanks :)
* Prologue *
Dear Diary,
Here I am, once again, sitting beneath the unobtrusive tree beside my home, watching afar the tiniest movements in the house opposite, imagining what Bella was doing at this time of the day. You probably think that how I could be stupid enough to walk down this heartbreak road again. Well, what I can say is I did try, my utmost, to choose the other way and believe me, this is the easier way to go. I would rather have what little Bella would offer than to have been denied of any one chance of seeing her long brown hairs gently caressing her back, of looking at her expressive and fathomless eyes widening in interest or hearing her musical laughter rolling off in the air. Instead of starving to death, I shall make do with any crumbles thrown along the way. Once you had the taste of purgatory, shrinking in any barren land on earth would be a blessing, even when you have no hope of residing in heaven to cling to. You can't imagine how hard it was for me to pass a day without a glimpse of my angel. At the end of each day apart, my heart was hurting so much as if it was ripe apart and there was nothing left in my body and every breath I took amplified the hollowness inside, so much so that I could not think anymore except burying myself into the bittersweet memories until sheer exhaustion blissfully claimed me.
People always say there comes a time when one just has to learn to let go. I thought my time had come when I just want to risk destroying all I have and hurting Bella along the way by simply holding her so tight in my arms, burying myself in her strawberry scented hairs and letting her feel my pain and share my distress, or when my heart stopped beating in the middle of the basketball court seeing Jake circling his arms around the girl of my dream and pulling Bella into a lover hug, or when I twisted and tolled on my bed during countless sleepless night because the familiar aching pain in my chest was pulling me down to the darkest and deepest core of the earth.
The fugitive run to Aunt Katy's place in Paris was my despairing attempt to escape from all the heartaches and ceaseless pain in my chest. I learnt and experienced so much in this trip. The recitals I attended were fabulous and all once in a time. My interview with Apple Records was life changing. They have been so much impressed by my music that they are now persuading Carlisle to let me sign a contract with them. I am definitely on m the way of becoming a composer. There were so many places to go and so many new friends to meet. My life was so full that I should be walking on the moon and yet, I found no joy. I smiled and laughed when I had to, pretending all were well and great and that I had enjoyed every minute of this escapade. My heart knew otherwise. Bella was everything – I wish Bella was at my side in Opera Bastille to savor II Barbiere di Siviglia (she would have been laughed into tears), I wish Bella was there to share my joy and success after the interview (she would have been so proud of me), I wish I was holding her hands when I was having the whole Paris under my eyes at La Tour Eiffel (she would have been kissed so thoroughly). It was at this most romantic place that I finally realized that my leaving, however short, was a mistake. I had no place to go. My heart was left in a small town called Forks and in the hands of a girl named Bella Swan.
Edward
17 March