Yes, this is an Autistic!Nepeta fic. Considering she never denied that to Karkat when he called her Autistic, as far as I am concerned, it is canon. It is from Equius's POV in trying to help her after a meltdown from sensory overload.


Deep Pressure

When Equius had taken Nepeta as a moirail, he had known that she would need to work a lot on him to help with his anger issues. Being as strong as he was, he barely touched her himself, afraid of injuring her, but she was a very affectionate troll and was always touching him to even it out.

He knew her touch was generally heavy and deep for most of the others, as Nepeta herself was quite STRONG from the hunting she does.

He also knew before they had made their relationship status official to their friends, that she was Autistic. He knew that it was that and her awkward people skills that led her at the start to be afraid of him, but she soon learnt that he was a decent troll and accepted him as himself.

What he was not prepared for were meltdowns. During them, and for a time after, she refused to be comforted, to be touched at all, by anyone. She told him after the first one he had witnessed that she just needed to be away from anything that could remotely trigger the state for a while so she could calm down and go back to her life.

She was jumpy sometimes for days afterwards and generally didn't leave her cave. Afterwards she always came to him for cuddles he wouldn't give her.

Since they had entered the game, they had become almost inseparable but unfortunately, things were noisy and bright and tasted funny on LoLCaT and it led to an increase in her meltdowns.

In fact she had recently had one and, if he was reading her right, she was currently finding it hard to relax at all. It was hard to tell, she had stopped being able to talk days ago after that last one.

So, in a fit of desperation to help his moirail calm down, he took her back through the portal he had jumped into to get to her world and instead took her to his, where it was dark and the silence was almost deafening. A slight stop through Aradia's world was needed, but they were only there for a few minutes.

By the time they reached LoCaS, her hands were planted firmly over her ears and she was whining from pain. Aradia's world was filled with noise, so he couldn't blame her for that.

Taking her to his hive was easy enough and he was as gentle as he could be while carrying her, basically having her lay on top of his arms with only the slightest bit of pressure to secure her when he was jumping.

He put her in a room on her own and left her to be. Here he was sure she could relax.

He was actually quite surprised when a few short hours later, after the horrible experiences she had had on both hers and the short time they were on Aradia's planet, she came out of the room and searched for him.

He was making food for her. He knew she consisted of a carnivorous diet, so he had made sure he had gotten some meat out of her hive before coming to this conclusion. He didn't hear her as she came in, busy trying not to squash meat too much, because he hated the feel of it and because Nepeta liked fresh food.

One minute he was alone, the next Nepeta was hanging off of him and clinging on tightly. He jumped slightly and she didn't dislodge. The piece of meat he had been holding now pulverised.

"Nepeta, are you able to speak?" he asked and helped her get around to the front of his body instead of hanging off his back. She shook her head and laid it gently on his chest, rubbing against his shirt.

He knew that gesture. That was her unspoken cue for pile time. She used it even when she was able to use words. She wanted comfort. Slowly, he took her into his respite block, where he had a pile made up of robot parts and laid her down on it. In next to no time he was lying down as well and she had crawled her way onto his chest so her feet were pressed against his knees and her face was above his heart.

She head butted him and kneaded his chest with her hands. He knew that cue too, it was the cue that she wanted him to hug her. Slowly, he draped his arms around her body and stayed as still as possible. He was barely touching her but usually she did not mind the minimal contact. Today it seemed frustrating to her if the angry nrrrrr sound she just made was any indication.

Her hands pushed down a bit harder and he followed the cue putting a slight bit of pressure on her. She hissed angrily at him and dug her nail claws into his flesh.

His arms automatically tightened a bit more than he normally would on most things he wanted whole and froze when she went limp in his arms. Had he just killed her? Did he accidentally squash his moirail because of a short burst of pain?

No. She was breathing steadily against his chest and had once again begun rubbing her head against it. Keeping the pressure she seemed to be liking he moved one hand up to just under her shoulder blades and lowered the other to the small of her back and held her close.

She was all hard muscle under her jacket and shirt. All the hunting she did made her so much stronger than he had ever imagined. Yet again, she could bring down a fully grown musclebeast if she saw one where she lived with only her claws and teeth.

He had forgotten in all his fussing about not wanting to hurt her that she wouldn't be his moirail if she couldn't take his strength like this.

And it seemed to calm her down. He begun rubbing one of his hands around her back, keeping the pressure as deep as he dared and soon she was a limp purring mess on his chest.

"Oh my," he stated, startled at the response. He had never had a piling session that was so...depraved. The noises Nepeta was making were ringing in his ears as pure pale pleasure and he had never, ever thought he would ever hear that from her.

Maybe it had been the state she was in before this pile, or maybe it was just he had been too afraid before to give in to her demands to be cuddled and held when she was upset.

He liked it, he liked it a lot that he was able to calm her down with more than just words now and knew she could take it. He carefully moved her up his body so that her head was leaning against his shoulder and a horn was pushed lightly against his neck, but he didn't mind. In this position she was more able to move her hands to wrap around him, and she took his own silent cue and soon he was smiling up at the ceiling making his own version of her purr.

Now that he knew that deep pressure was something she liked when upset like this he would be sure to follow her cues more often, because that was the best piling he had ever been involved with ever.