A/N: Hey y'all! So I am dedicating this fic to manga-neko-96. She's pretty freaking awesome. This one's for you, V! :D
Disclaimer: If you could see me now, I bet you would know that I do not know anything. Just a girl with her cat and a laptop.
Dear Journalorwhateveritscalled,
I am a State Alchemist. I am 12 years old. l am not a little kid. I am not some "dog of the military", so why is my first mission from that colonel bastard so pathetic?! When I walked into the room that day to receive my mission-feeling badass as usual, I did not expect to be handed a mission where I had to go halfway across the country to attended a ball. Not just any ball either. An all girls ball held for a visiting prince. He was looking for a wife. I would've smacked that smirk of that idiots face on an instant,but he is my superior after all. I can't be kicked out of the military before my first mission. Anyways, for this I was required to dress up. Yeah, you heard me. Dress up. Like a girl. I had to put on makeup, wear a dress, squeeze my feet into painful footwear from hell, curl my manly long hair, and try to make myself a fine wife for some creep who was supposedly using some kind of twisted alchemy on his guards and servants. It was pure hell. I would rather be kicking someone's ass, but like I said, can't risk blowing my cover. That's not the worst of it though, my foot was aching from dancing with the bastard creepizoid because he found me charming and cute. I can throw up just thinking about the look he gave me… Then he just had to drag me away from everyone else so he could get some one on one time with me and I could've sworn that he was trying to get in my pants, but ya know- can't blow the cover. So, I went along with it. I danced with him, I talked with him, I let him touch my face all the while I wanted to punch him in his. Nevertheless, I followed through with my orders- more or less- and let him announce to the guests at the dance that he has found his future bride. ME! I was the "lucky beauty" who got to spend the rest of my life with him and his disgustingly sterile and clean mansion that reminded me of the hospital rooms that I loathed so very much. Of course I can't marry him, I was a spy for the military on a mission! I had Alphonse to take care of, and he was a GUY! Doing the only thing left I could, I flung of those ungodly heels and ripped off my dress so that I was now in a tanktop and shorts so I could beat the crap out of him. It was only natural isn't it? Well long story short, after beating up the creep and being badass as usual, I was basking in all my glory for exposing him. Then, I remembered why I was there in the first place. Mustang was going to kill me for not getting any evidence of his foul play. I didn't really care at that point though, all I could care about was getting the hell out of there before the reporters and journalists could take my picture thus burying me in embarrassment forever. It wasn't my fault that I was assigned this mission. So, here I am pretending to write a mission report for Mustang as he lectures me on my rashness and my inability to carry out a mission. He apparently wasn't too happy that he had to pay for all the damages that I created also. Oh well. maybe that will teach him to give me lame missions like that one! Well I guess I really need to start on the report now. I'll write later.
-Edward Elric
A/N; Sorry this was so short…. and that it took so long for me to write. I had major writers block and a bunch of other stuff going on! :( I'll try to write faster! I promise~ Review? Fav? Follow?All are appreciated.