Our Own World
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed Destiny.
I was re-reading Secret to Love and thought about Gil taking Shinn away and living happily ever after together like he wanted. This is a one-shot alternate side-story to Secret to Love and just something I felt like writing.
Shinn lounged on a beach chair, the sun in his face, his eyes closed against the rays. He had a content smile on his face and was completely relaxed. The soothing ebb and flow of the waves rubbing against the shore was the only thing he registered, besides the occasional cry from a seagull. The cool breeze drifted along his skin, counteracting the heat from the sun high overhead. It was a perfect day.
"Shinn." A soft voice murmured near his ear. He couldn't help smiling a bit and opening his eyes slowly to turn toward the man beside him.
"Hey." He said just as softly.
"I wasn't sure if you were asleep or just enjoying the day." The man said with a chuckle. His long black hair was blown back by a gust of wind, revealing golden eyes that stared into crimson warmly, just like the sun.
Shinn continued looking at him with a small smile. "Just enjoying the day. It's perfect."
Gilbert Durandal reached over to tuck some of Shinn's hair out of his face, only for the wind to wrap the locks around his fingers. Shinn let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes, still facing Gil with that content expression. Gil smiled and leaned in to kiss Shinn on the forehead, who cracked another smile.
'It is a perfect day,' he thought to himself. 'Because I took you away from all the pain and anger. I gave you something even Kira couldn't provide.' There was no triumphant or smug expression on his face, just serenity. He was happy for himself, of course, but also for Shinn. He entwined his fingers with Shinn's and laid back in the chair next to the younger man, also closing his eyes.
Back when Gil and Rowan were working together on the Revised Destiny Plan, he knew Shinn was suffering. He knew what they were doing was wrong, and didn't truly believe in the same ideals leading up to the plan's initiation. All of his desire for humanity, all of his plans, were simply erased when he thought about Shinn. He only wanted the other to be happy now, it was the only thing which mattered to him.
For a moment, back in that place, he wasn't sure if it would work.
"Shinn, I have an idea. I think it would be best if you come with me." Gil said calmly.
Shinn frowned slightly. "What do you mean, sir?" he asked but stood to follow.
"I'm going to take you away from here, but you won't be able to remember some things. I'm sorry, but I can't bear to watch you suffer like this."
Shinn couldn't find the words to reply. On a subconscious level he understood exactly what was going on, because the last brainwashing session was beginning to wear off. On the surface, though, he didn't know what Gil was trying to run away from.
Kira's face flashed before is eyes and his chest tightened, the organ within clenching and unclenching as it sped up in beat.
Gil recognized the look on Shinn's face, "Yes, you'll have to leave him behind. You have to leave everything behind. If this continues, you'll end up killing him, killing them all, and I know you don't want that. I just want you to be happy, and this is the only way."
Shinn considered his words for a moment. He knew it was true; if he stayed and continued getting brainwashed he would turn into a monster, killing his beloved and friends, ripping apart families, destroying worlds. There was no escape.
Except this.
After a few moments he closed his eyes. 'Goodbye, Kira.' He thought. He opened his eyes to give Gil a determined expression, then simply nodded his head.
Gil looked relieved but his face still held a grim sorrow. He led Shinn to the lab room and hooked up the machine. The helmet went on smoothly, with Shinn staring at him the whole time. Before the procedure began, Shinn grabbed Gil's wrist.
"Make me…I mean, I want to forget. Everything. Everyone. I don't want to remember anything about the war, my family, Stellar…K-Kira…" he said, trailing off.
"Are you sure?" Gil asked softly, furrowing his eyebrows.
Shinn took a deep breath, closing his yes again. "Yes. I'm sure." He said in a hoarse voice.
Gil activated the machine, erasing everything. However, one thing could bring all those memories and feelings flooding back. One word could restore Shinn to his true self. Gil couldn't allow the amnesia to be permanent, a one-way street. Shinn deserved to know, if the time ever came. Almost like a block word, Gil set up a trigger to unlock the doors to the library where Shinn's memories would be stored.
The word was Kira.
After the procedure, Gil took Shinn away. They escaped without a trace, because Rowan was too arrogant to think either of them would try to run away. He was too focused on Kira getting in. Shinn slept the whole time, his memories fading as a new identity formed in his mind. When he opened his eyes he saw an island, and he was in Gil's arms.
Without the knowledge of his family's death, the wars, even Kira, Shinn could be content with staring into Gilbert's eyes and simply knowing all was well here. With nothing to fear, no nightmares plagued his mind, no flashbacks of the war tried to break the surface. All he knew was Gilbert and the island—and he was okay with just those two things in his life.
At first Gil wasn't sure how this would work, living together this way, virtually cut off from the war. Gil was able to keep up with the news, but Shinn was blissfully unaware. They went into town for groceries and entertainment, but the place was so remote that no one recognized them, and nothing could trigger Shinn's memories. It was perfect. Gil was afraid it was too perfect.
But when Shinn looked at him, openly happy and carefree, Gil knew it was all for the best. Nothing dark lurked behind those red orbs, and while he still regretted taking those memories away, the knowledge that he could retrieve them with one word—even though it implied going back, giving Shinn up—made him feel at ease.
"Hey Gil?" Shinn murmured.
The man kept his eyes closed as he answered, "Yes?"
"Thank you."
Gil opened his eyes to look at Shinn, curiosity sparking. Shinn was in the same position as earlier, facing the bright sky with eyes shuttered. Gil didn't know if Shinn remembered, even though it was impossible, or if it was just a passing phrase. He hesitated.
"For what?" he whispered. He held his breath, waiting.
Shinn smiled. "Everything." He breathed.
The abstract reply made Gil even more confused, but he decided to stay away from that little mystery. He wasn't ready to let go of Shinn just yet.
Suddenly he heard splashing and laughter. He realized he was sleeping when he opened his eyes to see the sun in a lower position. Shinn was in the water, diving around to cool off. Gil smiled and sat up.
"Come join me!" Shinn called.
Gil got up and walked toward the water. Shinn dragged him the rest of the way until the waves reached his chest, lapping against Shinn's neck. The sound of his laughter resounded in Gil's mind and he knew, no matter what, he would never forget this moment in time.
This place, where fears no longer existed and there were no tears of pain. A paradise where he and Shinn could truly be…happy.
A world of their own.
Author's Note: That was a little treat, something nice and calm compared to my other writings. I wanted to redeem Gil, and give them both some peace amidst turmoil. I left a lot of things open, such as whether Shinn truly remembered, or whether this was all just some dream Gil had, or what he considers paradise after death. I might come back to these thoughts one day, but for now I think this will suffice. Thanks for reading, please leave a review and check my profile for other news and story updates. Peace~