Hi! I hope this is funny! Pretty please review! Please.

In Which Edward Meets a Strange Girl

Edward was sitting in the mall, reading Hamlet, in Latin, for the 3rd time he could remember. Alice was shopping and brought him along, seeming that everyone else was too busy. Edward didn't like shopping, so there he sat.

He closed the Shakespeare book and leaned back, closing his golden eyes. How long was Alice going to take? It had been at least 2 hours, which seemed to Edward as too long to really be shopping.

The mall wasn't full, but wasn't nearly close to empty.

A girl, with startling green eyes, dark brown hair, and about 2 inches shorter than Edward, sat down, next to Edward.

She smelled good, Edward noticed, a nice, fresh, spring-like scent. Not as good as Bella though.

Edward decided to read her mind. He knew it was an invasion of privacy, it wasn't nice, but he was just that bored. Besides, he though, if she thinks of anything too personal, I'll block her out.

Banana, baaanaaanaaaaaa, bananana, oops, too many 'na's.' Ok, banananananananana, BANANA! Banana, banoonoo, banananan-fa. Banana.

What? Edward was very surprised, sure he had read some strange minds, but this? Bananas? The girl was looking at sign with a new flavor banana split at Baskin Robins.

Banana!

She didn't seem hungry to Edward, just… bored?

That's right Edward! Ding! Ding! Ding! I am bored. I mean seriously, who the "F" thinks about bananas all day? Really, Edward. Oh! Have you seen this thing called "David Blaine?" It's sooo funny, ok, go to Youtube, type "David Blaine" and click on the third one down.

He looked at her, his eyes wide, threatening to jump out of their sockets. She was mearly leaning back, eyes closed, a small malicious smile beckoning to bloom.

"Er," he said, not sure what to say. "Excuse me?" She opened her eyes.

"Yes?" An innocent smile played at her lips.

"Oh, um, never mind."

Haha! I am going to drive you crazy! She thought, leaning back once more.

Can you read minds to? Edward thought, new to relaying back messages with his mind, he tried not to look at the girl.

Ok, ok, ok, if 5+x is equal to the square root of negative pi, the x is obviously-? She paused a total of 2 second while Edward remained silent.

An imaginary number! OMG! Have you seen Harry Potter Puppet Pals? I love the Mysterious Ticking Noise!

She started to sing this Youtube phenomenon in her mind, taking Edward off the fact that she had just thought "OMG."

She was done with the song.

Ok, Edward, I will tell you a few things, wait, there's a sale at Coach today? All leather belts 5 off with 100 purchase, holy F! I'm there!

Edward looked around, there was no Coach as far as he could tell. She started to stand up calmly, glanced over to him and smiled, then walked to a smoothie stand.

"Edward! Just the man I was looking for!" Alice's cheery voice called out. "I need you to hold these for me, and I bought Jasper a belt from Coach! There's a sale, and, oh! I'll be a bit longer, are you sure you don't want to come?" She looked at him with her two big golden eyes.

"No, I'm sure." Edward said, noticing the strange girl coming back with a smoothie.

"Ok!" And Alice bounding off, or in her case, danced off, heads turning to watch the show that made ballerinas sigh.

My name is Amelie, yet, spelled the way it is, I'm not French. Oh, have you seen that movie? The girl -Amelie- sat down, sucking on the straw of the smoothie. She glanced over at him and stopped ranting about a random movie in her head.

Um, ok, I'm Amelie, your Edward, both at the age of 17, whatever.

She looked at him in a way that he knew she knew he was far older.

In a way, I guess I can read minds, Idk, but enough about me, what about you?

Edward kept his brain as blank as he could get it, which was a hard task, for his brain was as smart and logical as he was beautiful.

Fine! Be that way! I'll tell you what I know. You are a vampire, like Dracula, but not! 'Cause Dracula is like "Bleh, hear my stupid accent!" and your like "Sparkle" and "Twinkle."

Edward was basically shell-shocked. How does she know this? He looked down to see her shirt that read, "Vampirz rulz."

Anyhoo, like good old Dr. Nick from The Simpsons would said, "Bye Everybody!" Because I really must be off.

Edward sat still as a statue, watching the girl throw her blueberry and vanilla strawberry supreme smoothie away.

"My reason?" Amelie said this aloud, looking straight at him. "Fun, to annoy, and this won't be the last of me."

She walked away all the time thinking. Muahahahahahahaha! (Vampires really do rule!)

Once again, Alice came up, calling Edward to help her bring the shopping bags to the car. He wasn't really paying attention.

WTF?

Any questions or comments? REVIEW! THEY ARE ALL I HAVE!

I'm thinking of having a whole story on this strange girl annoying the heck out of all the Cullens, Bella, and Jacob. DANGIT! Why aren't they real?

Review! Or I will kill you with my plastic vampire teeth! Argh! Scary!