Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. Batman and all related characters are the property of DC Comics, a division of Time-Warner. Ergo, no profit is being made off this story and it is being written solely for entertainment purposes.

Reflections

By Anicomicgeek

Rated M: For Dark Themes and Adult Language

Note: This does contain spoilers to the story, Batman: The Killing Joke. Also, one scene is inspired by a similar scene in Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

Batman was laughing. The Joker couldn't believe what he was hearing—Batman was laughing. Never did he think he'd hear it, especially after what he did. Not only that, but Batman held him by his shoulders. Even after he crippled Police Commissioner James Gordon's daughter, Barbara, and tried to drive Gordon insane by torturing him, Batman, for once, laughed. Needless to say, the Joker was surprised—so surprised that he didn't notice Batman's hands slowly climb up for his shoulders and grab his neck until he felt a sudden grip on his neck. Then the both of them stopped laughing. The Joker looked to see Batman's face. Batman's jaw was set grimly and his eyes blazed with hate—pure, murderous hate.

Right now, it'd be so easy to just straggle him or snap his neck and end his reign, Batman thought. He deserves it. He said so himself. He crippled Barbara and tried to torture Jim. But no, I'm going to do what I have to do and do this by the book. Then he let go off the Joker, but before the Joker could run off, he balled up his fist and delivered a right cross to the Joker, knocking him unconscious.

Batman looked down at the Joker, thinking back at what he'd told the Joker imposter at Arkham before all of this started: "We're going to kill each other, aren't we? Perhaps you'll kill me. Perhaps I'll kill you. Perhaps sooner. Perhaps later."

Perhaps tonight, Batman thought, I should kill you before you do anymore harm to anyone else. I'm sorely tempted to, just to prevent what happened tonight from happening ever again. Even if he didn't rape them, he'd still mentally and emotionally violated them. He closed his eyes and thought back to when he talked to Barbara. He could recall the tears and fear in her eyes, what Gordon told him he'd seen when he freed Gordon, and his blood boiled.

Batman then looked on as a couple of paramedics walked over to Gordon and checked to see if he was okay. After they helped Gordon to an ambulance, Batman looked down at the Joker again and remembered what Gordon had said to him before he went off and confronted the Joker: "I want him brought in . . . and I want him brought in by the book! We have to show him! We have to show him that our way works!"

Even after Batman told the Joker that he's was going to do it "by the book," the thought of putting his foot on the unconscious Joker's throat and watch him gasp for air as he strangled and die entered his mind.

"I know what you're thinking, Bats," a voice sympathetically called out from behind Batman. He spun around to see Detective Harvey Bullock. "You're tempted. You're tempted to kill this bastard where he stands so he can't do this shit again, aren't you?" Then he sighed. "Can't say I blame you. Hell, I'm tempted to kill him right here and right now, too. He told you about what happened?"

"Yes," Batman replied. "He told me about being exposed to pictures of Barbara."

"I'm surprised," Bullock said, "yet relieved he didn't crack under what happened. God knows he'd have every reason to." He sighed, then added, "I . . . told Gordon . . . about what the doctor said about Barbara." He let out a sigh and then said in an amazed tone, "He said he still wants him brought in by the book. God knows no one would blame him if he wanted to kill Joker and he was clearly angry, but he still said that he wants Joker brought in by the book."

Batman picked the Joker up and handed him over to Bullock. "Book him," Batman said calmly, trying to hide his anger over what the Joker has done.

Bullock nodded, then handcuffed the Joker and asked, "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," Batman replied. "I'm going to be fine."

Bullock pointed to the acid burn on Batman's arm and said, "You should get that checked out, you know."

Batman didn't respond, but instead he walked over to the Batmobile, then looked once more at Gordon. After seeing that Gordon was okay, he got into the Batmobile and drove off.

***B***

Alfred Pennyworth, butler and surrogate father figure to Bruce Wayne and his alter-ego of Batman, with a first-aid kit ready, looked on as the Batmobile pulled into the Batcave and Batman get out. Batman walked over to the Batcomputer and sat down at the chair at the console, then took off his cape and cowl, and rubbed his tired eyes.

"I heard what happened," Alfred said as he looked at the burn on Bruce's arm and began to treat it. "I'm sorry to hear about what happened to Barbara. How's Commissioner Gordon taking it?"

"He'll be okay," Bruce replied. "Joker tried to break him and he didn't break, even after he was exposed to pictures of Barbara, stripped and bleeding." His shoulders slumped abject failure, he looked down and closed his eyes. Exhausted, he added, "I was tempted to kill him. Even after I'd told Joker that I was going to do it Gordon's way, I wanted to kill him." There was a brief moment of silence before he whispered, "There's no going back now. Not now, not ever. We're locked onto this suicide course. We're going to kill each other in the end."

Alfred set the first-aid kit down, knelled down next to Bruce, put his hands on his shoulders, and paternally said, "Master Bruce, you were tempted to kill him, but in the end, you didn't do it. Every night you go out, you walk the edge of the abyss called 'vengeance' and I'm afraid that you will because a creature like the Joker. It can blacken the soul, but you haven't fallen in and I thank heaven for that.

"But whoever the Joker was before he became the Joker, he fell into the pit of insanity years ago—possibly very well before he even became the Joker—and not even you could have pulled him out. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we will fail. Despite everything you're only human and sometimes, no matter everything you can do, you can and will fail. It's a part of life." Alfred then got up. "You want to be left alone for a while?"

"Yes," Bruce replied and leaned back in the chair. "Yes, I want to be by myself for a while."

"All right," Alfred replied, then walked away.

Bruce turned to look at a monitor and looked to see his reflection. He began to replay what happened earlier that night in his mind. When he got to the point when he went inside the fun house to go after the Joker and heard him talk about one bad day, he stopped, look at the mirror, and briefly saw the image of the Joker. He then let out a guttural roar and punched out the monitor screen, breaking it.

After a few moments, Bruce calmed down. Looking down at the glass from the shattered monitor, he thought, Maybe not tonight, maybe not for years, but in the end, we will kill each other. After tonight, there's no longer any going back.

The End