It's not like she isn't clear on the concept, though—just because she avoids reading like the plague doesn't mean she's stupid, thankyouverymuch. She knows what it means: it's when a boy calls you 'honey', or 'baby' or something. Y'know, lovey-dovey hearts and flowers bullshit.
Alex Russo doesn't really do lovey-dovey hearts and flowers bullshit. Can't stand it. Hates it almost as much as she hates reading. With every boyfriend she's ever had, from Riley right on down, she's always nipped that crap in the bud.
Except with Justin. Him, she lets get away with it.
Because Justin is all about lovey-dovey hearts and flowers bullshit. Always has been. Eskimo kisses, holding hands in the rain, adorable photo booth pictures from Coney Island, sunset picnics in Cental Park. Boy never met a romantic cliche that he didn't like. When Justin's in love, he flaunts it. Revels in it. Wants the entire world to know.
But, of course, you can't do that when the person you're in love with is your sister. Not if you want to avoid things like familial scorn and, y'know, jail time.
And so, because she knows how hard it is for him to keep it buttoned down all the time—harder, even, than the necessity of keeping magic a secret—she allows him this one thing: she lets him call her 'honey'.
That's it, just the one: 'honey'. Not 'baby', not 'sweetheart', not 'love'. And certainly not 'Schnuggly Boo-Boo Kitty Fuck', or whatever godawful nickname it was that he'd saddled the vampire with. It's harmless enough, a believable (if slightly odd) thing for a big brother to call his little sister, in case he ever lets it slip out accidentally, around other people. Which, of course, he does all the time. Justin's good at a lot of things, but with containing his emotions? Not so much.
Of course, once she relents to letting him call her 'honey', he insists on her having a pet name for him too, because that's who he is.
"Shyeah, no," she snorts in response, because that's who she is. "Not happening, egghead."
He doesn't get it, naturally. But then, that's hardly a surprise, since he's spent seventeen years not getting it: that terms of endearment don't always have to be complimentary, no matter what the dictionary, or Wikipedia or whatever, has to say on the subject.
Which suits her just fine. Because Alex Russo doesn't do lovey-dovey hearts and flowers bullshit.
And dude, she'll be damned if she's gonna call him 'honey'.
—30—
Author's Note: This was written both as a friendly rebuttal to Tilante's story of the same name—which you should absolutely go read if you haven't already—as well as a response to my pal Not Just A Nerd, who likes to tease me about just how often I have Alex call Justin 'egghead' in my fics. Now you know why! ;)
Apologies to everyone who's been waiting patiently for an update to OTP. I am working on it, but I've been struggling with an awful case of writer's block, and needed to just switch gears and work on something else for a bit to loosen up. I haven't abandoned it, promise.