Not quite sure where this came from, but for some reason I can totally see this happening
Rukia
Dear kindly Captain Kuchiki,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us out of hand.
Our mothers all are junkies,
Our fathers all are drunks.
Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks!
Rukia, Ichigo, Ishida, Orihime, Renji, etc.
Gee, Captain Kuchiki, we're very upset;
We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get.
We ain't no delinquents,
We're misunderstood.
Deep down inside us there is good!
Rukia
There is good!
ALL
There is good, there is good,
There is untapped good!
Like inside, the worst of us is good!
Byakuya: That's a touchin' good story.
Rukia: Lemme tell it to the world!
Byakuya: Just tell it to chamber 46.
Rukia
Dear kindly chamber, your Honors,
My parents treat me rough.
With all their marijuana,
They won't give me a puff.
They didn't wanna have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!
Chamber 46
Right!
Captain Kuchiki, you're really a square;
This girl don't need a judge, she needs an analyst's care!
It's just her neurosis that oughta be curbed.
She's psychologic'ly disturbed!
Rukia
I'm disturbed!
Rukia, Ichigo, etc.
We're disturbed, we're disturbed,
We're the most disturbed,
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.
Chamber 46: In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account she ain't had a normal home.
Rukia: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.
Chamber 46: So take her to a headshrinker.
Rukia
My father is a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister married Byakuya,
Renji wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!
Ukitake (psychiatrist)
Yes!
Captian Kuchiki, you're really a slob.
This girl don't need a doctor, just a good honest job.
Society's played her a terrible trick,
And sociologic'ly she's sick!
Rukia
I am sick!
Rukia, Ichigo, etc.
We are sick, we are sick,
We are sick, sick, sick,
Like we're sociologically sick!
Ukitake: In my opinion, this child don't need to have her head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!
Rukia: Hey, I got a social disease!
Her: So take her to a social worker!
Rukia
Dear kindly social worker,
They say go earn a buck.
Like be a shinigami,
Which means like be a schumck.
It's not I'm anti-social,
I'm only anti-work.
Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk!
Urahara (social worker)
Eek!
Captain Kuchiki, you've done it again.
This girl don't need a job, she needs a year in the pen.
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside her, she's no good!
Rukia
I'm no good!
Rukia, Ichigo, etc
We're no good, we're no good!
We're no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!
Chamber 46
The trouble is she's crazy.
Ukitake
The trouble is she drinks.
Urahara
The trouble is she's lazy.
Chamber 46
The trouble is she stinks.
Ukitake
The trouble is she's growing.
Urahara
The trouble is she's grown.
Rukia, Renji, etc.
Kuchiki, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Captain Kuchiki,
We're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease.
Gee, Captain Kuchiki,
What are we to do?
Gee, Captain Kuchiki,
Kuch you!