"What," Yosuke says one rainy and dreary night "is that?"
Souji stares at him fixedly for a moment before realizing that he's talking about the orange thing in his hands. "A kitty," He says nonchalantly.
Yosuke raises an eyebrow at him, a disgusted look crossing his face as his eye catches one of the kitten's large blue ones. It meows at him and he glares at it; his mom was allergic to cats, and he's always hated the animals for making his mother break out in uncontrollable sneezes. (or maybe it was because the girl he liked in fourth grade had a cat, and it cut up his hand pretty badly)
"Dude," Yosuke lifts a hand to run it through his hair. "It's a cat. Not a … Kitty." He says the word with difficulty, as if his manliness was depleting rapidly at just saying the word.
"But it's small," Souji says defiantly. He kneels down and places the sopping kitten on the doormat, running a hand across its back. The feline arches to his touch, purring.
His face scrunched up, Yosuke immediately lifts the cat by the scruff of its neck and it tenses immediately. "We are not keeping a goddamn cat." He pushes past his roommate and opens the door to reveal rain pelting the landing. He stretches his arm out, ready to drop the cat, when it turns its head to look at him pleadingly.
Yosuke notices how large its eyes are (funny, they resemble a certain kung-fu fanatic's), and he suddenly feels guilt and contempt flood every nerve of his body, a portion of his mind shouts, and what the fuck do you think you're doing!. He slams the door shut.
"W-We're only keeping it f-for the n-night, okay? Th-This isn't final!"
Souji only smiles, nodding.
But the cat stays longer than a night. The rain continues for two days, and Yosuke and Souji eventually forget about ever leaving the cat at the Human Society a few blocks down.
Slowly, the two become accustomed to their orange feline, buying cat food and a litterbox (it was relocated many times; Yosuke kept stepping in it in the middle of the night) and even a small basket lined with pillows and blankets, though the cat preferred sleeping with her masters.
Yosuke actually couldn't believe it wasn't a boy when Souji had taken her in for her shots ("but he's orange! That's totally a dude color! Besides, lady-cats are something boring like gray!") and insisted that he get her checked again before Souji threatened to make him check for himself.
Despite this, they never gave her a name. She was just Cat.
Yosuke's head is upon the small, round table situated in front of the television, his eyes drooping and an inexplicably bored look upon his face. Cat is beside him; rubbing her back on the floor (she has realized that her louder master doesn't quite like her enough to pet her yet).
He lazily flips through the channels on the small television, not really paying attention to anything, when his eye catches bright colors and scenery that don't belong to an anime. It takes him a moment to realize that it's not an anime; it's some weird western cartoon. He wrinkles his nose when he sees that the rabbit is yellow. What kind of rabbit was yellow? A fat bear in a red t-shirt lumbers on screen, sits on a moss-covered log, and pats his fat stomach. On his right, Cat has rolled over and faced him, her tail swishing back and forth. The bear on screen yawns and giggles. Cat is suddenly shaken by a yawn and sits up.
Yosuke cranes his head to look at her. She gazes at him expectantly before striding over to him and rubbing against his thigh, meowing just as the bear onscreen yawns again.
"Pooh Bear," Yosuke whispers, as if he's just discovered a cure for cancer.
Onscreen, the fat bear lies down on his bed to sleep. Pooh Bear drops on her haunches and continues to rub her head against Yosuke's knee.
Yosuke doesn't tell Souji about Pooh Bear's new name. He believes that he can keep it a secret, because who names their cat after a fatass bear from a western cartoon?
It is one clear night that Yosuke almost lets the cat out of the bag. (well, not really – Pooh Bear was literally in a bag – a pillowcase to be precise – and she was flailing so much that they had no choice, no matter how cute it looked) He and his roommate are sitting back to back, folding clothes. He is grumbling under his breath about how much he hates socks, oh my god why do socks have to exist, all they're good for is getting lost and preventing smelly feet, why the hell do they need fucking –
He comes across a sock with a rather large tear in it, and says to Souji, "Oh, yeah, don't leave your socks layin' around. Pooh Bear might get to them."
"… Who's Pooh Bear?" Souji asks. Yosuke suddenly realizes that he's stopped folding clothes. He tenses. "N-N-No one! No one," Then, with a cough, he adds quickly, "I meant the cat. Just messed up my words a little,"
Souji chuckles deeply at this remark, but doesn't say much else.
He comes home one blazing afternoon to find Yosuke laying underneath the table, a popsicle hanging out of his mouth, with Pooh Bear lying on his chest in the shade. He doesn't have the heart to wake them up for three hours, until which the boy awakens abruptly, smacking his head on the bottom of the table and earning a slash across his wrist from Pooh Bear, shrieking about bro why didn't you wake me up, there is popsicle stuck in my hair oh my god fuck fuck fuck chie's going to laugh so fucking hard at me bro and it's going to be all your fault you hear all your fault FUCK YOU DON'T LAUGH
When he comes home late that night, around 2am, Souji pretends he doesn't hear him crying. He pretends to be asleep in the bedroom, waiting for the telltale shout from the doorway as Yosuke stubs his toe on the doorframe in a haste to get inside to sit up and ask him what's wrong, and listen as he explains in a high and cracking voice how Chie is such a bitch, how could she do that, jesus christ.
But he doesn't hear the telltale shout. He doesn't hear Yosuke coming towards the room at all. Craftily, Souji crawls out from his room into the television room, where he finds his roommate sitting in a corner with Pooh Bear curled up in his lap, purring. Tears are rolling down Yosuke's long nose and onto her carroty fur. He whimpers about how sorry he is, about how he wishes he had done better, god, Pooh, why weren't you there, you always know how to make people stop crying oh my god, i wish i had your power, Pooh, i wish i was more like you, i wish i didn't have to look so goddamn strong all the time, Pooh, i just wish i was like you, Pooh.
Souji crawls back to his room and falls asleep. He wakes up at 6am the next day to find that Yosuke isn't in his futon. He treads softly to the television room, where he finds him underneath the table, curled around Pooh Bear, who is still purring contentedly. She sits up and stretches, as if recognizing her quieter masters' presence, and turns to gaze at him with her honey-colored eyes.
He walks towards her and kneels down. She places a protective paw on the hand that Yosuke had wrapped around her. Don't wake him up. He needs sleep, so he can be strong again. She seems to say. Souji smiles, rubbing her behind the ear. She purrs. "I know,"
He dresses and leaves to go to classes, stopping at the doorway, where Yosuke is still asleep, and Pooh Bear is still keeping watch over him. "Wake him up soon. He has class in an hour."
She mews. He leaves.
When Yosuke asks Souji later that day (Yosuke was the first one in his class that morning) if he heard him come in last night, he denies hearing anything. He sighs loudly, saying, "Good, because nothing happened, if you were wondering."
"Whatever you say," Souji rolls his eyes, grinning.
Chie comes over a few weeks later. Yosuke tells him, "Partner, please don't come into the tv room, okay? We – Chie and me – w-we gotta talk. No interruptions. You understand, right?"
He nods complacently. "But what about Pooh Bear?" He asks as he's heading into the room. "She might be a distraction,"
Yosuke tenses, his cheeks flushing. "Uh, no she won't. Besides, she can do whatever she likes, can't she? Queen of the … Apartment and all,"
Souji hears one or two raised voices in the span of four hours. He hears the drone of a movie, a video game, laughter, but no angry shouting. Nothing negative, at all. When he finally slides open the door, he sees Chie asleep underneath the table, Yosuke beside her, controllers in both their hands, the flashing game-over screen, and Pooh Bear, purring contentedly between them. She notices his presences, awakens, and stretches. They are happy again. Her eyes tell him. He leans over the table and rubs her behind the ear.
"Good girl," He says.
"Hey, partner?"
Souji lifts his head from his essay to look at Yosuke, standing in the doorframe.
"Have you seen Pooh Bear?"
He shakes his head.
"Oh. Well, okay."
It rains awfully hard that night. The two of them eat dinner quietly. Yosuke seems preoccupied with his own thoughts. Souji pretends not to notice.
"Still haven't seen Pooh Bear?" He says after twenty minutes of silence.
"Nope, but I'm sure she's fine." Yosuke says, forcing a smile.
The rain hits the screen door leading out to the balcony, lightning illuminating the dark sky.
Souji opens the door a week later to be shoved aside by Yosuke, in a t-shirt and jeans, his coat clutched close to his chest. He skids into the television room, sliding on the floor (hitting the wall), and dropping the coat. Souji rushes after him.
"Get all the towels and blankets we have!" Yosuke shrieks in an unnatural voice, his body obscuring whatever was in his coat from view.
He returns with four towels and the two comforters. When his roommate makes a mad grab for them, he finally sees what was in the coat.
Pooh Bear, whom he barely recognizes, is covered from her pointed ears to her long, unnaturally crooked tail in mud. She is lying on her side, breathing heavily, her two back legs mangled. One from the ankle down is missing. The stump is covered in a strangely white substance. His view is obscured yet again by Yosuke, who immediately starts to dry her off with the towels, throwing them aside when they only manage to drag mud across her body.
"Yosuke – Yosuke, be careful," Souji says calmly, though he cannot shake the nervous itch in his voice. He assists him in drying off the cat, deciding to clean her stump, when a piece of the white substance falls onto their carpet. His dinner lurches in his throat when he sees that the white substances are moving, falling onto the floor. He jumps three feet in the air when he hears Yosuke roar from beside him, digging his fingers into the white mass and tugging them out, pulling with them millions of tiny, ugly maggots.
"GET – THE – FUCK – OFF – MY – CAT – YOU – FUCKING – SON – OF – A – FUCKING – CUNT!" He screeches at the top of his lungs, tearing the maggots and squishing them into the carpet until there are no more. This ringing is banging around inside Souji's head, and, in dismay, he realizes that it's Pooh Bear.
She's mewing feebly, and he looks at her once and realizes that they're too late. Her honey-colored eyes are dark, murky, and unclear. "Yosuke," He whimpers, not trying to level his voice.
"WHAT?" Yosuke shrieks.
He gives him one glance and he stands, wrapping Pooh Bear in a comforter as he does so, holding her close to his chest, to his heart. "No. She is not going to die. She is not going to die."
Souji shakes his head slowly.
"She is not going to die."
Souji closes his eyes, his head still shaking.
"She is not going to die!"
Tears leak out of his eyes, though he still refuses to make a sound.
"SHE IS NOT GOING TO FUCKING DIE, GODDAMMIT!"
And he stomps around the room, chanting the phrase as if he were setting up walls around him, around his heart, around him and Pooh Bear, as if the walls could protect them from anything. Souji continues to shake his bowed head, the carpet beneath him peppered with dark spots. Fat tears roll down Yosuke's cheeks and his eyes screw shut as his voice rises to overcome the sound of the thunder.
"She is not going to die!"
Souji wakes up the next morning in his futon. He drags himself into the television room. Yosuke is curled up in the comforter under the table. He weakly pushes aside the fabric, trying not to look at the bags underneath his roommate's eyes. Pooh Bear is curled up, close to his heart.
Souji thinks he can hear her purring.
The two of them bury Pooh Bear in a cemetery across town. She is buried underneath a large oak tree. Yosuke bought a statue of a cat, curled up like she used to, and used it as her hedge stone. Souji pats his shoulder comfortingly, walking back to the sidewalk to wait for him. Yosuke murmurs something along the lines of don't wait.
Souji waits.
He stands there for an hour. Two hours. Three.
He heads home at four.
Yosuke doesn't come home for six more.
He sits in the television room, curled up underneath the table in the comforter, too tired to cry anymore. He doesn't eat. He doesn't drink. He lies there listlessly all night.
Souji wakes up at four am the next day, tired and aching. He rolls off his futon and into the kitchen, retrieving a glass of water. As he lifts the glass to his lips, his hand begins to shake uncontrollably as sobs wreck through his body. He hastily places the glass on the counter and leans over the sink, plump tears rolling down his cheeks. He doesn't know what to do without the Queen of the Apartment, the kitty with the carroty fur. All he wants to do is cry and never get up, ever again, never ever ever –
A familiar drone, low and comforting, wafts through his ears. He jerks his head from the sink, whirling around. The drone stops. There is nothing there but the kitchen, dyed a dark blue in the low light, the moon shining in through the window and striking the wall opposite. Souji calls quietly, his voice hoarse from lack of use, into the darkness.
"Pooh Bear?"
The drone, now forming something like a hum, continues again. It seems to be moving down the hall and into the television room. He pursues it, clinging to it helplessly, hoping deftly that maybe, just maybe, she is in there. She was just – just joking. She had a – a wonderful sense of humor -
Souji stumbles into the television room. He doesn't see any carroty fur, no honey eyes. Tears start to skim his cheeks again when the hum continues; it's under the table. Still crying, he slides underneath the table next to the boy who can't cry anymore. He's never been under the table before; it's surprisingly roomy. He can fit his whole body underneath it if he tugs his legs up to his abdomen a little. He feels safe. He doesn't feel like crying anymore; he feels sleepier than he's ever felt since Yosuke and Pooh Bear came home. Souji curls up on the comforter, laid out by Yosuke previously, warm, calm, safe, content, and he drifts into slumber.
Almost as soon as he shuts his eyes, he feels something warm press against his chest. The dull hum enters his ears, and he raises his arm to wrap it around something near him. It's soft and tepid and welcoming, and Souji knows that he isn't dreaming, that she is here, right now, beside him – even if he can't see her. She's proclaiming her love to him and the boy next to him, saying how grateful she is, how much she loves them, telling them not to cry, because I'll be right here, okay, I'll be right here in your chest, because that's where all the cats and dogs and birds and ferrets and all other pets go, because we love you too much to leave forever. So please don't cry, don't cry, I love you, I always will.
