20 Ways to Annoy Barbossa.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Carribean.
1. Shoot him.
2.Cut out his tongue.
3.Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue, and trim that scraggly beard.
4.Kidnap Jack the monkey and hold him for ransom
5.Kill Jack the Monkey.
6.Purposely bump into him and shout "What the heck, Hector!?" right in is face.
7.Take Jack Sparrow's side in the argument of who really is the captain of The Black Pearl.
8.Hang a sign in his cabin that says "Captain Jack Sparrow Was Here!"
9.Ask him why his piece of eight is a wooden eye.
10.Tell him about all the abuse the wooden eye went through when Ragetti had it.
11.Ask him why he gave the thing to Ragetti in the first place.
12.When he's about to release Calypso, tell him that is not the way you speak to a lover.
13.Ask him to perform your wedding ceremony on a pirate ship, during a battle, in the middle of a maelstrom.
14.Ask him if he was legally bound to perform Will and Elizabeth's wedding ceremony.
15.Beg him to tell you all the details of how he came back to life.
16.Walk up to him and say "I thought all pirates were supposed to have pet parrots. Why do YOU have a pet monkey?"
17.Watch Curse of the Black Pearl with him and cheer when he dies.
18.Tell him you didn't remember who he was during his brief scene at the end of Dead Man's Chest.
19.Ask him what happened to him after At World's End.
20.Ask him if while he was in Davey Jones' locker, did he see multiple apparitions of himself, like Jack Sparrow did.
The End.
A/N: I know the first three were taken straight from At World's End. But they're funny. And funny is what I aim for.