This is supposed to be a story to mock the really D-U-M-B things that people do on fanfiction. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but maybe their own opinion should not spawn a kajillion fanfics that the summary alone makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a fork. These chapters are all (sadly) based on real things I have seen. Hopefully I offend no one with this, it's just the characters reacting, not necessarily always me.
As if he'd needed anymore proof that Muggles were filth.
Lucius Malfoy was not pleased. He had recently seen some very... disturbing things.
Namely, fanfiction. He just couldn't risk the temptation of searching himself, attempting to find praiseworthy material about him. He had found a good number of stories that shipped him with his actual wife, Narcissa.
And then he'd seen it. The first inkling something was wrong in the fanfic world. A story shipping him with Andromeda. Then another shipping him with Bellatrix of all people. As if that would ever happen. Bellatrix had a very unhealthy and disturbing obsession with the Dark Lord, bordering on stalkerish.
But even Bellatrix's creepy crush on Voldemort was nothing compared to the fanfiction summary he had just read.
It made him physically recoil from the screen, emitting a very ladylike gasp of horror. Then he ran to the bathroom and weeped. Lucius Malfoy needed therapy.
Would you like to know what he saw?
Too bad, I'm not telling you.
Okay, I'll tell you.
Lucius Malfoy had just seen a fanfiction shipping him with his own son! Here's the summary, as best as I can recall it.
'After the Battle of Hogwarts, the Malfoy family has grown closer. What Narcissa doesn't know is how close her husband and son have become. Lucius/Draco'
Lucius Malfoy is a damaged man, and now you know why.
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