This is a one shot short ficlet inspired by the Jasam breakup. I try to capture both of their feelings.
The "Welcome Home Sam" sign lay on the nightstand next to her bed as she cried silently hoping her newfound family wouldn't hear. This should be the happiest time of her life…finding her birth mom, her sisters, and yet the most important piece of her puzzle was missing. He had walked away from her telling her it was only for her safety. She didn't understand how he could just shut her out…after everything they had been through…he just was gone.
He lay on the couch that night restless. He couldn't bear to go upstairs to their bedroom. Everything in that room was in her essence, from the platinum colored sheets to the rich dark mahogany wood. It stilled smelled like her. The whole house smelled of her sweet scent and he swore if he closed his eyes he could feel her lying in his arms once again. He knew that he must let her go; it was the only way to keep her safe…but yet in the times alone in the dark he felt at his weakest…his heart, mind, body longed for her gentle touch.
She spent the day with Kristina trying not to think of what was going on at the Penthouse. Jason was her home; it was where she found herself. Their love story wasn't traditional…she was his best friend's pregnant mistress, and yet he had stepped in to take care of her. It was there she found her soul mate, her best friend, she still wore her ring on her left hand…she couldn't bear to part with it yet…she wasn't ready to give up on them.
At exactly 7 in the morning he saw the bodyguard poke his head in and announce that movers were there for her stuff. He couldn't explain the tightening of his chest, or the dull throb in his head. So he let them in and pointed to her things. This was for the best he told himself…to clear her out of his life. It made sense that if he cleared their home of her it would stop the pain that wracked his body…he needed it to…it was the only way.
She started to unpack boxes late in the afternoon. Putting her clothes in the new closet, arranging her toiletries in the bathroom…it wasn't until she came to the last box that the finality of it all hit her. She opened it and saw their pictures…the frames that had sat on his desk and the mantle. The signs of happier times, in Hawaii, at the fundraiser…it was then she lost it. She lied on the bed clutching the frame to her chest. And she cried…she mourned for their love…mourned the pain of losing someone else she had loved.
Carly came over that morning and commented that he looked like hell. He would have never guessed Carly would be the one to practically beg him to call Sam. He tried to explain why he couldn't…he even stood by the bullet hole that had punctured his window and told her why he wouldn't allow Sam to be touched by his life. Why couldn't every one just understand that things would be better this way…why couldn't he convince himself?
She went to visit Baby Girl McCall's grave…she knew that in life everything was meant to be…even losing her baby. Every day she was blessed to see Kristina running around she knew that her baby had touched the lives of so many people without ever taking a breath. She remembered the days after Jason had told her about Lila's death, the way she had shut down inside, the way he wouldn't let her crumble. She knew that she was falling in love with him before then…her whole world was tied up in him, and now it was all gone, and once again she was lost.
He walked into the Penthouse and flicked the light switch. He wondered how long it would be before he stopped seeing her bright smile when he entered the room. He couldn't help the flashes of memory come back to him: Chinese food on the floor, showing her how to use the Baby Bjorn, her in a mud mask, their first kiss…making love on the couch….he didn't know how to make his heart stop loving her. He had to give her up…it was the only way.
That morning she made the decision…and as she freed the ring from her hand she placed it in the small glass jewelry box on the dresser. It was something she had fought doing for a long time, and yet she new it needed to be done. If he was determined to cut her out of his life…she would let him for now…but she wouldn't give up on them…not now…not ever.
A/N: The Jasam breakup has been so sad for me…because the writer's are totally writing it true to form and anyone who has ever had someone they love leave them totally gets it…Hope you enjoyed my spin on it. As always your feedback is always appreciated!