Hello, all! I'll keep this part short and simple, and beg for mercy later. For now, I have this to say:
I warn you all, it has been quite a while since I read the manga, or saw the anime. Therefore, portrayal of these characters may not be completely accurate. If it is, it's a lucky guess. But I will be twisting their personalities for my own purposes. I am bound by law to disclaim the contents of this here fanfiction. I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, or the game show idea represented, nor am I making any money off of this (though that would be awesome). In fact, I own nothing, not even the computer I'm using. That belongs to my school. The humiliating of these characters is merely for entertainment purposes. Also, I will only use first names (Japanese, not dub), because I can't remember their last names for more than five seconds. Flames will be used to toast marshmallows.
A young man with the look of an angel, right down to the long snowy hair, walked onto a stage, the lights blazing, to applause. The angelic image lasted for all of one second, only to be shattered by the man smirking. "Welcome, all, to the show Idiot or Genius, where we shatter egos and images. I'm your host, Bakura. Now, let's get started." He took his seat at a podium and clapped his hands together. "Let's bring out our first victim! Anzu!"
A small smattering of applause sounded from the live audience, until Bakura glared at them all. With an inaudible gulp, the audience members cheered loudly. "What's the point of applauding her? She's a ditz!" one man whispered to his friend, who replied, "Because the host scares us." And that was all the reason they needed. Down below, a girl with short brown hair bounced into view on stage, waving at everyone, until she tripped over a cord. This was followed by some quickly muffled laughter. The girl got up and took her seat across from Bakura, still smiling.
Bakura, meanwhile, was fighting off a slight twitch. Quite frankly, he found Anzu's personality disturbing, to say the least. However, he had a show to do, and twitches were not acceptable on camera. So he forced another one of his I'm-going-to-kill-you-slowly-and-painfully smiles, thoughts of the same nature running through his mind, as he said, "Welcome, Anzu. Shall we get started?"
"Sure!" the brunette exclaimed cheerfully, oblivious to the evil smile. Yup, this girl was stupid, the audience decided.
"Okay, then we'll just jump right in. First question: Is the sky: A. Green, B. Blue, C. Orange, or D. Somebody please shoot me?" His eyebrow twitched. Those jokers who wrote these questions and answers were seriously underpaid, by the looks of it. Maybe a pay cut would light a fire under them.
A drop of sweat dripped down Anzu's temple. 'It's only the first question, and they're already giving me hard things to answer? Okay, Anzu, breathe,' she told herself. 'Take your time. You just saw the sky…um…however long ago it was. Relax. You can do this.'
Five minutes passed by, the audience and Bakura dumbfounded. This girl seriously didn't know what color the freaking sky was? Good grief!
Finally, Anzu gave up and tentatively guessed. "Um… B. Blue."
Bakura snorted his way out of the nap he'd started taking some three minutes ago. Glancing at the little digital clock at the bottom of his screen, he saw that it had taken the brunette ten minutes to answer this question. "Is that your final answer?" he asked on a yawn.
Looking uncertain, Anzu nodded. "Final answer."
"And you are…correct!" Bakura announced to applause from a barely-awake audience. "Question two: Finish this quote. 'A woman only needs four animals in her life: A mink on her back, a Jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and: A. A dog in her yard, B. A jackass to pay for it all, C. A cat in her lap, or D. A giant break-dancing turtle." Oh, the people writing these had better watch their step.
Another drop of sweat ran down Anzu's face. This one was even harder than the first one. A dog or cat made sense, but a turtle would be amusing. She didn't even know what a jackass was. She debated on this for fifteen minutes while the audience and crew members played poker. Just like last time, she ended up guessing. "Um… A. A dog in her yard. Final answer."
"I'm sorry, Anzu, that is incorrect," Bakura said, while he was mentally cheering. "The answer was B. A jackass to pay for it all." He pulled a lever on his podium and the floor disappeared from beneath Anzu, dropping her straight into the Shadow Realm.
As the floor lifted back into place, Bakura turned to look at the audience. "Sorry, folks, looks like we're all out of time. Join us next time, when we'll be joined by…" He looked at his screen for the name. "Jou (1). See you next week on Idiot or Genius!"
"Clear!" someone shouted, and Bakura banged his head on the podium. "Why – me? – She – was – an – idiot," he muttered between bangs. "I need to kill someone."
( 1 ) Yes, I know that's not his first name. But it's easier to spell.
As you may have guessed, this show is based on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?. Obviously, I do not own it, or I would not be writing this. I'd be off making money.
Reviews are welcomed, as is constructive criticism. Once again, flames will be used to toast marshmallows. So go ahead and click on the pretty button. Go ahead. Click it. It feeds the starving authors we have trapped in our computers.