Choices…
Author's Note: Short lil' introspective one shot, set post- The Other Woman's Jack/Juliet kiss. And pre- Eggtown's future confessions of continued Kate-love. It walks and talks kinda like a Jacket, but is so very obviously a Jate underneath. Love it or hate it, PLEASE review!
Disclaimer: Not mine. So very not mine.
She knew he trusted her. Admired her. Desired her.
Maybe even loved her.
And she knew it was because he wanted to.
Sometime, back when she was bringing him cheeseburgers as he crouched against a wall, while her expression and movements were almost-shy and sympathetic, she'd watched the decision to try and believe she meant it all spread across his face, a new openness reaching his eyes.
Then sometime, not so long ago, when eyes narrowed in her direction and suspicious whispers drifted across the breeze, she walked hesitantly among them and he, he decided to commit himself to having faith in her. She watched it set his shoulders defiantly, right before he opened his mouth to defend her…again.
He asked her opinion, he laughed at her jokes, he sought her approval and he took her word. She knew he thought she was pretty, the way his eyes would rake her in when she smiled…and she felt herself flush all over every time at his gaze.
It was a choice he made, to be with her.
And she took comfort in that. Sometimes it felt good to be chosen.
But, that didn't mean she didn't know that he could change his mind.
It wasn't like it was with her.
He didn't want to need her agreement. His fists would clench in enraged frustration sometimes, as he'd stare in brutal exasperation down into those green eyes. Incredulous that she couldn't see that he was right, that her jaw was set as stubbornly as his, in total opposition.
He didn't want to care what she thought. But he did.
He didn't choose to trust her either. God knows he's a logical man, who could see clear as day that she didn't deserve it. She'd lied to him, repeatedly let him down. She kept things from him, things he ought to have known, and didn't blink an eye.
He didn't want to trust her, but he did.
Ultimately, he'd put his life in her hands, first and always.
And, more than anything, Juliet knew he didn't want to love her. He didn't want to be captivated by her laugh, or swept speechless from her beauty. He didn't want to wince, cringe, flinch each time Sawyer was mentioned, each time he wasn't sure she would find her way back to the beach.
He didn't want to quake with jealousy and hurt some days, and he tried, quite nobly, to stop it. But he couldn't.
He had no choice when it came to Kate. What he felt for her was so natural, inevitable from their first meeting, engrained inside as it was thrust upon him by fates much stronger than he.
He wanted her in the most innate and uncontrollable way.
He loved her on instinct.
So when Jack asked for her support, Juliet beamed, flattered that she mattered so much.
When Jack kissed her, Juliet reveled it. She closed her eyes and believed the sweetness and affection -- because she knew Jack wouldn't lie.
When he held her to him, and whispered sweet dreams in her ear at night, she smiled and giggled and believed that maybe they'd last.
Afterall, he was there because he chose to be.
But she knew, if he ever saw that for each of his stifled but longing glances, helplessly falling on her, the brunette was sending the same right back his way…
If he ever saw that she loved him too... well, he could just as easily choose not to be.
And Juliet had to prepare herself for these choices.
AN2: Please, review!