Some author notes… Okay, not going to lie, this was largely inspired by Flaignhan's fic called fragments. So read the other one first, and then all of them while you're at it. I apologize if there were any grammar or spelling or ooc mistakes. It may be a little confusing by the third and second p.o.v.'s, but... try to stay with me here. And I do not own the avengers or black widow or Loki.
Pieces
By: Just Hale
She found out his death by accident.
Her finger slightly traced the edge of his picture in the Shield folders, slightly smiling at his smirk and deliberately ignoring the maroon word stamped across his face. If he were here, she wouldn't admit that she had been snooping in his file, trying to figure out why he hadn't 'visit' her much lately. She could imagine the words rolling off his smoothly accented tone.
"But you were, Agent Romanov."
But she was.
It was hot, it was messy. But you didn't care as you desperately clawed at him in pleasure. You don't think he did, either, by the way he was moaning. You ripped at his hair and he breathed into your neck. Both sweaty and burning, the two of you never share a word. It was easier that way, to pretend it never happened.
Oh, but you so wish you said something then.
She avoided the avengers mostly, but Thor the most. She could see the dark cloud raining on him, the droplets somehow always landing near her feet, as if they somehow knew she was guilty. That she was hiding something.
She couldn't bear to tell him, she never will, anyway.
The second time it happened, you didn't even wait for him to fully catch his breath. And from there, a trail of scattered cloth led to the bedroom.
She convinced herself that she didn't love him.
The third time it happened, you think he knew you had been with others. He was like a drug you tried quite. But as soon as he got here, you rushed up to him anyways, already missing him.
She finally asked Thor about it, managing not to show any emotions.
"Where is he now?"
Thor looked at her with surprise at how she started off with the question. "Your people are studying him, in the morgue."
You know he had been with other girls, but you don't point it out. You have forgotten already what time this was, and don't even try to quit it. You take some pleasure in that fact that it was him who rushed up to you this time, the thought that he couldn't quit, either.
She rushed through the hallways, not caring at the stares. You stomped into the morgue; the deathly whiteness of the lights and the walls combined almost blinds her. You move closer to him, seeing him lying peacefully on the metal slab.
Wrong word, she thought. He was never peaceful.
You remember again how every night it ended with the same way of waking up to an empty bed. The way how you feel insane after every visit. She doesn't know if you're going crazy or if they did happen. But when you walk up to him, you see a little smirk gracing his lips.
And you know, he had been waiting for her to visit.
"Did he love you?" Thor asked. "My brother?"
She thinks about it, and a shadow of a smirk painfully like his comes across her lips almost bitterly.
"Don't be silly," she said softly.
"Of course he didn't."
End.