Scandalously Awkward

Summary: Seriously, the worst person to find Arthur and Merlin in a very awkward situation is Gwaine. So of course, fate would have it that he walked in right at that moment.

A/N: Just a poke of fun at Merthur. :P No ACTUAL slash, unless you want it to be, I guess. Which Rei would – to the point: Gift fic forrrr … Renae! :D (no, it's not her b'day, I just owe her one, lol…) Waayyy overdue, mate, I know, but I just found this and remembered "Hey… I remember doing this… before it died" so I fixed it up and yay! All done! Hope you like it. I thought it was quite funny, but that's just moi ;) Just remember to deflate my ego after this, yeah? :P Read on~

Merlin thought he must have broken a mirror or something recently, because today really wasn't his day. Either that, or destiny (or fate, or Kilgarrah, or whoever the hell it was) decided his life needed some spicing up - in a way he really did not need.

First he had to suffer the utter humiliation and blow at his man-pride: Gwen had sought him out frantically on his way to the kitchens to ask him to deliver a couple of dresses for her to her chambers, as she was busy with organizing something-or-other. Now, normally, carrying dresses around the castle wouldn't be too bad for Merlin - after all, it certainly wouldn't be the first time, and this time Arthur was still asleep so he wasn't likely to face teasing from the prince. What Merlin didn't count on, however, was for him to trip and send the dresses sprawling. He got up and frantically grabbed them off the ground, holding one up to himself to survey it for any rips.

Now, to anyone else, it would look like Merlin was checking to see if the dress fit him. Which is exactly what it looked like to one certain knight just rounding the corner.

Gwaine stopped in his tracks and looked his friend over, his expression growing highly amused. Merlin, realizing his situation, hurriedly dropped the dress.

"I swear it's not-"

"What it looks like?" Gwaine grinned. "Well, you'd say that even if it were, so..."

Merlin glared at his friend but didn't bother arguing, knowing Gwaine could go on all day if he wanted to. He stepped past the knight. "Look, I need to get these to Gwen's chambers, so I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Sure thing, mate."

Merlin didn't like the almost sly smile on Gwaine's face, but he put it to the back of his mind for now. He still needed to deliver these then get Arthur's breakfast and then wake the prat up and ... And then, his day could begin.

The second incident was less damaging to his manlihood, but damn it, did it hurt.

Stubbing your toe on stone steps generally did. And then promptly dropping the platter of food in his hand right onto his foot did not help.

So Merlin wasted a good five minutes of his morning clutching his throbbing toe and cursing extensively at everything under the sun and over it. Then he spent some more time cursing at the prince's breakfast on the floor. He grudgingly cleaned it up and drudged back down to the kitchens to get another platter.

He watched his step very carefully this time.

Waking up the prince in the morning was usually an easy enough feat. All Merlin had to do was pull open the curtains with a cheery cry of "Rise and shine!" and let the sunlight do the work. However, Arthur had had a late night and was sleeping much more heavily than he usually did. Which meant he didn't wake up straight away; he stirred a bit and shifted so that his face was buried into his pillow and the sunlight instead shone only on his bare back and arms, instead of right in his face.

Merlin sighed. Couldn't anything be easy today?

He approached the prince and stood right next to his bed, blocking the sunlight as he did so. "Arthur? C'mon, prat, you gotta wake up," he tried, rather unsuccessfully. All he achieved was the sleeping blonde shifting some more and turning all the way onto his back, arms spread out and muttering softly. Merlin caught the words 'thrust' and 'stab' and 'dodge', and rolled his eyes; even in his sleep, the guy practiced his sword-fighting.

"Arthur? Oy, prat!" The young warlock tapped the prince on the shoulder, then gasped when - by reflex - one of Arthur's hands reached up and gripped his wrist in a vice-like grip.

Looks like he was taking his dream fighting very seriously.

Merlin tried to tug his hand out, with no success, and willed himself not to swear loudly in frustration. He tried prising the prince's fingers off one by one with his other hand, but -

"Hey!" He cried out automatically at the sudden pull. Arthur had turned to his other side, dragging his manservant with him. This, of course, triggered a course of very drastic events that will eventually lead to the deteriorating pride of both men in the room.

The force of the sudden pull caused Merlin to stumble and fall forward; his foot flew back, connecting with the water jug on Arthur's bedside and knocking it to the floor with a crash; his flailing arm caught hold of the hangings around the bed, and they fell with him with a loud rip; and Merlin ended up in a very awkward position, entangled in the beddings of a now wide-awake, very confused, and extremely pissed off, prince.

"Merlin - what the - get off me, you idiot!" Arthur yelled in shock, trying to get up from underneath the scowling Merlin.

"I'm trying - just - stay still - ouch, move your leg from there, you prat-" he struggled frantically, but the hangings and the quilt were too tangled in his limbs, and Arthur's constant squirming didn't help.

"What're you-? Oy! Your hands are freezing, moron, let go!" he exclaimed (more like yelped. In a very un-manly way).

This was getting extremely awkward. So of course, fate would have it that the worst person to find Merlin and Arthur in such a situation walked in right at that moment...

Gwaine was going to see Arthur about the knights' training, when he heard a loud cry and a crash from inside. He paused at the door and frowned, puzzled, wondering what was going on in there. There was the muffled sound of someone or something falling heavily and a riiiip, and then voices - 'get off me, you idiot' and then 'stay still - ouch - move your leg from there, you prat-' and 'your hands are freezing – let go' - and Gwaine's interest piqued ten-fold. Just what were Merlin and Arthur doing?

So, obviously, he opened the door, and did a double take at the sight. Why was Merlin tangled up in the bedsheets on Arthur's bed on top of a shirtless Arthur?

He couldn't help it - he burst out laughing.

And the other two froze completely.

That's it, Merlin thought horrifically. This day REALLY could not get any worse.

"Get - off - now," Arthur hissed through gritted teeth, attempting to push the other boy off him.

Merlin unfroze himself and managed to somehow roll off the bed, still tangled in the bed hangings, and completely humiliated.

Arthur didn't look any better, if it was any solace.

They both looked straight at Gwaine, who was still cracking up by the doorway. He straightened up slowly and wiped the tears from his eyes, which were still bursting with mirth.

"Oh God, that was too good," he snickered, either not noticing the murderous glowers on both his friends' faces, or choosing not to pay attention. (Most likely the latter).

Arthur sat up slowly, face set in a deadly expression. "Gwaine. If one word of this gets out, I swear I'll force you to muck out the stables, knight or not," he growled.

Merlin's expression flickered for a moment to one of amusement, before changing back. He stood carefully and finally got the hangings off him, putting it to the side as he relished the freedom of being able to move again.

Unfortunately, his movement caused the other two to divert their attention to him.

"So, what exactly was that?" Gwaine asked him a bit too casually, a slow grin forming on his face.

"What – I- nothing!" cried a flustered-looking Merlin. He scowled at his friend as his face steadily grew hotter. "Prince Prat wouldn't wake up so he- it's all your fault!" he exclaimed to Arthur when Gwaine doubled over in laughter at their faces.

Arthur turned to his servant, eyebrows rising and arms crossed over his muscled (bare) chest. "What? How in hell is this whole stupid thing MY fault? I was asleep!"

"Oh, so now you're taking advantage of Arty when he's sleeping and shirtless, huh Merlin? I knew you were hiding something… what with those dresses and now this…" Gwaine butted in, a tad too gleefully. He didn't even seem a little bit fazed at the two scalding glares sent his way as he stepped back out the door, a spring in his step and an all too mischievous grin on his face. "Wait till the others hear about this!"

"Gwaine!" Arthur roared, jumping (tumbling, more like) out of his bed and storming towards the door. (Merlin idly thought that he looked somewhat like a bear whose slumber had been disturbed. Badly.) Gwaine's head reappeared in the doorway.

"Yes, your highness?"

Arthur growled (literally growled. Merlin conceded he must have been quite an angry bear in a past life…) and grabbed the knight by the shirt to pull him in, before slamming the door shut.

Gwaine's cheeky grin grew. "Hey, now, if you wanted to play rough and dirty, you could'a just asked. No need to get feisty – ouch!" He pouted as Arthur punched him hard on the arm.

"You – will – not – say – a – word – of this… to anyone. Understood?" he snarled through gritted teeth.

The rugged knight scratched his chin 'thoughtfully', as if considering the order. "No, I won't," he agreed, and Arthur and Merlin seemed to deflate slightly in relief, before he added, "Not now, at least. You could, say, give me a day off training… and get me some ale…and pickled eggs… and…"

Arthur and Merlin both groaned as Gwaine happily recited a list of things he wanted them to do for his silence.

Blackmail, that's what this is, Arthur thought furiously. Still, he had to go through with it. Imagine the sheer humiliation if word got out that… that the prince was caught…in bed shirtless…with…

That would be hell.

Merlin was thinking exactly the same thing. Why do awkward situations seem to follow me around?

A/N - … hehe. Gwaine. Blackmail. Scary thought. I rushed the end. Cuz I wrote the first three-quarters aaaagges ago (as in, months ago) and it needed an end. Renae ~ yeah, I know, I never ended up doing it with Gwaine's POV or his mini-rant thingy, but that would've meant writing it completely differently and I kinda like this. So yeah :P And no, I won't do any more. Yes, I am going to go study now, so don't tell me off. *sheepish grin*

As for everyone else, I hope this at least amused you. I won't be doing anything else like this – don't think so, cuz Merthur and I don't mix, though this wasn't exactly Merthur, more like a crack at it. ANYWAY. I ramble. REVIEW~! *pokes review button* :D

Ta~

izzy