This is a quick dabble dedicated to my friend, Tsunamix. I'd give you origami, but you're way too far away... I'd draw you something, but I'm not too great at that. And I wanted to give you something, so... I hope you like this!
It's sad at first, but it gets happier. I hope you follow along with it :)
I walked calmly through the forest, as if taking a leisurely evening stroll with no care. The wind blew gently while sunlight peeked out from above. I could hear birds. It's a lovely day. Too bad it will be my last; I might as well savor it.
I came to a stop before the sewers and slowly descended the rungs, careful to slide the cover back in place.
I'm not worth it.
I slowly pushed off with my scooter, neither reluctant or eager to reach my destination. I'm about to die, and I know it too... So, why am I so calm?
I'm not worth it.
The ride seems over in less than thirty seconds. With a heavy sigh, I ascended the rungs and repeated the procedure.
I'm not worth it.
Swinging down the rope, I make sure to etch all the details firmly in my mind. This will be the last time I see any of it. I'm not scared. Just relieved. I don't have to worry about anyone getting hurt anymore on my account; All of it will be over soon...
I'm not worth it. I never will be.
The thought that I'll never see the others or Jeremy again, that I'll never tell him how much I love him, brings tears to my eyes, but I quickly blink them away. I have to be strong. Besides, I'm not worth the trouble. I know it. I should just get this over with.
I'm not worth the trouble. This is for the best.
The elevator doors open and I walk closer to the giant, infernal machine that ruined my friends lives. And it's all my fault. I have to do this for them, even if I don't want to.
Just do it. All of will be over... I don't have to worry anymore.
Heart pounding loudly in my chest, I tightly grip the handle of the machine. One simple movement, one simple jerk of my hand, then it's all over. I don't have to worry... I'll be free. Feeling weak with relief, I jerk down the handle. Not even a second later, I can feel my heart stop.
It's all over now... I'm free.
Then my thoughts cease to exist.
"Aelita, Aelita, please wake up!"
That voice sounds familiar. So familiar. But right now, all I know is that they stopped me from shutting the supercomputer off. I waited for the fury to come, the fury for ruining my chances, but I was shocked when a wave of relief hit me so hard that I almost burst into tears. What's wrong with me...?
"Jeremy?" My voice sounds hoarse. I blinked, his stricken face coming into focus above me. I can feel the cold- Wait, the cold floor isn't below me. Jeremy is cradling me in his arms.
"Aelita, why did you do that?" he asked, eyes glassy and sounding on the verge of tears.
In the same state, I could only gasp back a reply: "To... to save you, and the others. To save the world. I'm not worth it, Jeremy." Even as I spoke the words, I knew they weren't true.
I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, barely preventing the tears. What had I been thinking? I can't leave Jeremy. I love him. The others need me, and I need them too. I can't shut down the computer. I can't do this.
"You're insane," Jeremy said, still wearing the same stricken expression. "Aelita, you can't... you can't say that; you are worth it, and you shouldn't think any different... I promise, we'll save the world together, and you'll have your whole life ahead of you!"
He pulled me closer, and I felt my spirits lift. There was hope, after all.
I am worth it.
"And it shot right out of her nose!" Odd laughed as he told a joke I've heard many times.
I laugh anyway and glance at Jeremy, who's also laughing, though he's hardly one for Odd's jokes. I catch his eye and he gives me a wide smile. It's a smile that says he loves me. Even if he's not ready to say it aloud yet, I know he will be, someday.
The details of my attempt at shutting the computer down are still etched firmly in my mind, though it was a whole week ago. I shake it off, knowing I'll never do something like that again. I love this world too much. I love my friends, and I love Jeremy.
I wonder if he knows what I'm thinking as I slip my hand into his. Though blushing, his smile becomes wider. I thoroughly enjoy it and take a deep breath of air.
I am worth it. And I'll never think differently again.