Disclaimer: Me owning KHR = 6918/D18/2718/5927/myfuckingOTPs overload. No it will never happen.

Claim: THE FUCKING FUCKED UP GRAMMAR, WHY YES I OWN IT. I OWN IT ALL.

Warning: OC-with-no-name-because-I-don't-like-it, horribly dense and awkward OC etc.

"Oi," Hibari begins one day, air around him completely tense. "You're disqualified."

She twitches a vein or two, promptly shoving her middle finger up the prefect's face. "Are you some kind of sexist?" she shot back. "Is there something wrong with a girl in the Disciplinary Committee?"

Hibari sighed deliberately. This was going to be hard to explain. "No. That would be overly disgusting." He took a short moment to think deeply. "Well, first things first…"

"You remind me of Rokudo Mukuro too much. I. Hate. Rokudo. Fucking. Mukuro."

She unceremoniously placed her fist on her hand, a bulb lightening on her head. "That reason wasn't valid however." She tilted her head, arching an eyebrow suspiciously, a knowing, smug and somehow guilty smirk playing on her lips. "Pray tell, Hibari Kyoya."

The prefect promptly decided to directly aim his tonfa towards her eye, in which she ungracefully dodged with a small turn. "Oh my, Kyoya," she giggled hysterically. "You certainly don't throw like a—what, a fucking girl?"

Hibari slammed his other tonfa up the girl's jaw. "I'm not a fucking girl, you bastard." He all but hisses, feeling beyond irritated at that moment.

"Oh gee, I guess I should've said you didn't throw like a gay dude having manly sex with another man." she chose that moment to headbutt the older teen. "How sly, Hibari Kyoya."

Blood boiled, and his veins twitched uncontrollably all at once. That never fucking happened. If there's anything he could congratulate this annoying, irritatingly idiotic asshole of a girl, it would be the fact that she's the first person that can make him feel like this. "You're fucking dead." He accused darkly, ignoring the pain of his forehead because fuck – it hurt.

"Now that's a first time," she arched an eyebrow. "Do you think I'm Mukuro's illusion or something?"

Oh my God. So that's fucking why Rokudo's been missing for more now. "Are you Rokudo?" it was more of a statement. "Because I will fuck you in the ass with a goddamn penknife if you're Rokudo."

"Rude words hurt me so." She turned to face Hibari, expecting to see more of her skylark's adorable, cute flustered face, but instead was greeted with a desk flying towards her face in 60 km/h.

Hibari Kyoya did not throw like a girl.

The only thought that ran through her mind that time when she woke up in the hospital was just that. The prefect wasn't a girl of course, she out of all people would know.

And Hibari promptly slams the door open, a bunch of flowers on his hand. He reluctantly dropped it on her hands, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "I do need to remind myself that you are in fact a moron, and I can't be rough with you unless you decide to somehow be annoying as usual."

"And I," she sneered in an equally annoyed voice. "Need to remind myself that you are a humorless little son of a bitch that needs to learn what education really is and I can't joke around with you."

Hibari resisted the urge to strangle her to death. "Anyway," he dropped the topic casually, slanging a tonfa on his shoulder awkwardly. "I brought a dress for you."

"Oh, how coy of you, Hibari Kyo—"

What.

She ungracefully choked on her own spit, seemingly deciding to suffocate herself (or so Hibari thought). "Excuse me, you cocky fucker?" she asked again. "A dress? Really?"

"And a handbag. Gucci, actually," he continued naturally. "My sister doesn't need it anymore. By the way, that dress is Versace. I'll bite you to death if you even try to wear it."

This guy didn't make any sense; she came to a fairly true conclusion as she gaped for air, laughing like a psychopathic monster. "Are you an idiot? Why would you give it to me, who you know would never wear this shit, and actually threaten me not to wear it when dresses are supposed to be worn?"

Because oh my god, was he a fucking retarded douchebag?

Hibari shrugged nonchalantly, "its Versace."

He was a fucking retarded douchebag.

She chuckled dryly, putting away the expensive accessories away, "is it bad if I say that you're missing something?"

"What," he replied, practically curious because Hibari Kyoya never makes mistakes. Or at least he tries not to, because her voice dripped in a completely bored, sarcastic, nonchalant and a twisted venom of disbelief, "…apparently." She drawled out. "You forgot Choco."

And the prefect literally slapped his forehead with his palm, because oh yes – he did forget about that goddamned 'Choco', her dog. And she cherishes her dog more than she cherishes anybody out there in the world—and Hibari raises an eyebrow in confusion. "Is that fucking dog really important to you?"

"Please do not swear when Choco is involved, you son of a fuck."

Hibari headbutted the girl, "that Choco puppy is going to be dead if you don't get out of hospital in the next 24 hours, you ungrateful bitch."

She smirked the most challenging smile one could ever make, and returned the headbutt with an equally hurtful grind on the forehead before whispering dangerously, "Don't touch my Choco."

The doctors had to take everyone out.

And all the way in Tsuna's house, the brunette gave the most girly shriek that day when the overwhelming bills came to his mailbox.

She glared at the prefect, who seemed glad to return the glare. "I touched your goddamn fucking puppy," he said smugly to her, raising an eyebrow as if proud of his own statement. She didn't hesitate to laugh like she was insane.

Maybe she was.

"Do not involve Choco in this."

"For the record, why are we talking about Choco?"

"Because." She gritted her teeth, looking like she was about to strangle anyone to death. The prefect didn't flinch. Neither did the girl. "…just because."

"You. Are. Absolutely. Ridiculous." Hibari snapped before flipping the whole table in frustration. She laughed in monotone, "It may seem I might need to write a whole new fucking article, of how easily pissed off you can get."

"I can get much more pissed off than this, you cocky asshole."

"I'll fuck you with a fountain knife. An inkless one."

It completely dawned on her of how terrifying that day went. But here she was, holding a letter on her own hands that read 'ACCEPTED', and— judging from how terribly neat but yet disgusting-looking writing, her best guess would be that it was Hibari Kyoya.

She smirked.

Maybe she shouldn't tell him that he's her crush yet.

What a fucking-what the fu-that was a really bad ending. And a bad start. And middle. Oh my fucking God everything about this is bad.

You don't need to review, actually. Because I know how horrible you feel when you read this story. Just bash on me or something, or don't leave one at all because the fuckedup-ness is just too much.