A little random songfic me and KrazyKimmy came up with while walking to the train station to get to Basingstoke and while listening to Taylor Swift's 'Mean' which happens to be the song with the lyrics edited! Harry Potter style. J.K Rowling owns all characters. Oh and Snape isn't dead otherwise the song won't work.
Voldemort and Harry were standing in the destroyed courtyard of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Students, teachers and whats left of the Order of the Phoenixand Death Eaters stood around the final battle, waiting. Bored of the talking.
"You will die, Harry Potter," Voldermort was saying holding up his wand grinning. However it dissapeared as the last thing he ever expected happened. Harry Potter started singing. He's recognise that tune anywhere. Taylor Swift's 'Mean'.
"You, with your wands and spells and death eaters your to scared to use against me,
You, lift me off my feet again using wingardium leviosa,
You, with your voice like snakes hissing to Nagani to attack my best friends,
You, picking on the chosen one.
Well you can take me down, with just one single curse
But you don't know what you don't know!" Harry sang. The death eaters were laughing at him but he didn't care he carried on when the music, he didn't even realise Ron put on, changed tone slightly to symbolise the chorus coming on. Ron and Hermione came to his side and joined in with his song and started a little dance together.
"Someday, you'll be, nothing but a scary memory, 'cause we are killing all your Horcruxes,
Someday, I'll be, strong enough so you can't kill me and all you're ever gonna be is mean,
Why you gotta be so mean?" Harry turned to look at Snape and pointed while more Hogwarts students joined in on Ron and Hermione's dance.
"You, with your switching sides and your outright lies to Lord Voldemort.
You, compare me to my dad daily but never to my mother,
(Back to Voldemort) I put a hand to my scar when it burns so fiercely 'cause you're inside my head,
I, just wanna be a normal kid.
I bet you got pushed around, inside that orphanage,
But you didn't have to take my parents away," Harry joined in the dance that half the students and all of the teachers had joined in with and before he knew it there was a chorus of people singing along. Voldemort was just standing there confused and angry.
"Someday, I'll be married to Ginny Weasley, and have a couple of kids of my own,
My kids, will have everything that I never had, because you controlled my childhood you twat!
Why'd you have to be such a twat?
Now I wish I could give you a second chance, and try to make things right,
But you killed my parents long ago, and you will never stop,
So I think it's time for you die and never come back,
So everyone can sleep safely in theirs beds,
'cause all you are is mean,
All you are is mean,
And a killer, and pathetic, and a noseless git and mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
And today I am going to destroy you, because you're never gonna stop,
I don't, want to live in any more fear of you, 'cause I want to move on with my life,
But why'd yu have to be so mean?" Harry finished and everyone from Hogwarts cheered but the Death Eathers and Voldemort just stood there. Voldemorts mouth was hanging open until he lifted up his wand and the battle started all over again...
After the battle was won, by Harry of course, he couldn't help but think about how much angrier and harder Voldemort was fighting. He answer came from Snape, had one last thing to say before he died from the snake wounds Nagini gave him earlier.
"Potter... come... here," he said between breaths. Harry knelt by his side.
"What's up Snape?" Snape whispered something in Harry's ear before taking his last breath and collapsing to show he's dead. Harry started laughing so loud that Ron and Hermione ran over to see what the joke was considering that there were hundreds of dead bodies everywhere.
"Harry?" Ron asked. "Whats the matter?"
"Voldemort was a big fan of Taylor Swift and Mean was his favourite song, so he felt we were taking the piss out of her. But it's funny because," he held his breath so he would't burst out with laughter again, "so was Snape!" Ron, Harry and Hermoine almost died of laughter together...
OK it's crap I know but I'm no good with endings but I just didn't think the song alone was enough and I had to explain what was going on throughout it. Snape was attacked by Nagini as usual but he just survived a little longer just until the end of the song then died in Harry's arms just like in the film/book or whatever else you used to get the general gist of the story.
Plz Review... nicely!