Title: "Tears"
Rating: K+
Pairing: Nick Jordan and Yvonne Rippon
Summary: Set after the #Holbyriots. Nick comes to terms with what has happened to Yvonne. A Nick/Yvonne pairing with some hints of Zoe.
Author's notes: So, I decided to write a new story but this time based upon Nick and Yvonne and is set a day after the #Holbyriots. This story is only going to be two chapters, three at most. You will all know from my previous stories that I'm not used to writing about Nick with anyone else but Zoe so this is going to be an interesting challenge for me. This story is going to be completely from Nick's point of view. Please feel free to give constructive critism about this as it will be useful for other stories like this I plan to write. As always, spelling and grammatical errors are my own fault. Enjoy! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beautiful.
There are no other words I could use to describe her right now. Even as she lays there, motionless, her beauty still radiates through. Her long dark hair is sprawled elegantly across the pillow and her cheeks are stark white. She looks angelic but that's what I'm worried about. I don't want her to become angel, not yet...
A few hours earlier we'd been happy. Well we had an argument but compared to this situation, it was nothing. A few angry words spoken didn't compare to what the woman in front of me was going through. I can't think of anything that would. What could possibly be worse than facing this? A fight for your own life. It's not fair. She doesn't deserve anything that's happening to her right now.
I shake as I take hold of her slightly clammy hand. I squeeze it lightly praying for a response but nothing. Not even a movement of her fingers. As I move my gaze from her hands back to her face, I can't help but take in a deep intake of breath. This image of her is not what I want engraved in my mind. This helpless figure, relying on the latest medical advances to keep be kept alive. Despite her peaceful state, the room that she inhabits is far from it. The constant sound of footsteps whirls around the resuscitation unit with us in the eye of the storm. They say that the eye is meant to be the most calm and in this situation, they certainly aren't wrong. We seem to be the only ones still. The sound of the monitor is beginning to grate on my ears. Apart from the footsteps, it's the only the noise that has been fixed in the room. With every beep, I wonder. I wonder whether this will be the moment when she wakes up.
My hand flinches a little as a drop of water falls upon it although I barely recognise it as being my own tears. My mind is too firmly set upon my darling girl. I can't bear to think of anything else but her and the struggles she is facing. If I could take all this pain away from her then I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't. It's completely out of my control. I'm not even able to treat her! I understand why though. I can't care for her because I wouldn't be objective. I'd be bias because of my personal feelings for her in other words. I suppose it's for the best. I want her to receive the best care possible and she can't have that if I'm treating her. It pains me to say it though. I want to be the only one to look after her. To keep her safe and to prevent anything else from happening to her.
I am suddenly aware of a presence behind me. I can sense them hovering over me. They aren't saying anything but I suppose they want to adhere to the strict rule of no talking this room has undertaken. I can feel a light breeze on the back of my neck. They seem to be closer to me than I thought if I can feel their breath. Out of the corner of my eye, I suddenly see a hand rest upon my shoulder. The other persons hand seems to be massaging my shoulder in an attempt to relax me. Or calm me? Whatever the reason, I think it's working. I swiftly feel more at ease. I tilt my head sideways a little. I just want to see who it is.
Zoe.
My former lover. My best friend. The one who had always been there for me.
I used to love her so much. More than anything else in the world. A couple of years ago, I couldn't actually imagine life without her. That was until the truth came out. She broke my heart. She'd lied about something I believed was real. A baby. She knew how much becoming a father meant to me but she still misled me. I know I can't blame her entirely though. She wanted it as much as me. I could see it in her eyes whenever we used to talk about the prospect of parenthood. I still wonder what it would have been like to have a child with her. What kind of parents would we have been? Would motherhood have calmed down Zoe? I guess I'll never find out about that now.
Zoe suddenly moves away from me, moving over towards the other side of the room. I don't want her to leave me on my own even though technically speaking I'm not. I watch her fumble around in the corner of the room and then pick up a stool. As she walks back over to me, I breathe a sigh of relief. She's staying.
"I wish she'd just wake up" My voice is a whisper but Zoe hears. She places a hand upon my knee and rests her head on my shoulder. I'm not sure what this body language means. Is it comfort or is it more than that?
"She's strong Nick. She'll get through it" Zoe's voice sounds slightly hoarse as if she's been crying. I want to ask why but I'd rather not speak any more. I feel exhausted. It's hardly surprising considering I've spent most of night sat here awake despite others telling me not too. Why do they say I should go home and sleep? If they were in my position they would behave in exactly the same way. They wouldn't want to leave their loved ones bedside.
My mind suddenly wanders towards the attacker. Yvonne's attacker. What state are they in now. Are they still in the ED or have they left here? I want to find out but I'd rather not leave Yvonne. My restlessness alerts Zoe. Her head rises from my shoulder. I look at her. She's staring right back at me. I can know clearly see that her eyes are red and puffy. She's been crying.
"Go and have a rest. I'll stay with her" Zoe says softly to me. I nod reluctantly. I know I'm use to Yvonne or anyone else for that matter in this state. I stand up slowly. My knee's make a cracking sound from where they have stayed in the same position for hours. As I walk towards the resuscitation unit exit, I glance back and smile slightly. Zoe has moved into my chair and is leaning in towards the bed, clutching Yvonne's hand. She's taken up my role for the time being and I'm grateful to Zoe for doing that.
I push the doors open and I freeze. It's such a different atmosphere to resus. People and talking and laughing as they go about their work. I suddenly start to feel weird. My head is spinning. I rest myself up against the wall to try and steady myself. I think it's the loud noise. I've been in the quiet for hours and I don't feel used to all this busy bustling around me. After a few seconds, I raise my head to look around and I notice a few people looking in my direction. I know they are talking about me because as soon as I make eye contact with them, they look away quickly and continue with what they were doing. If they have something to say to me then I'd rather they just say it. They're the least of my worries though.
As I head to the staffroom, I get the same looks but I'm just ignoring them. I can't be bothered to deal with it right now. The door feels like a lead weight as I push the door open. As well as tiredness, my muscles ache. I just feel so weak.
I'm glad there is no one else in here. There's no one that has to see me like this.
The sofa at the end of the room looks so inviting as I stumble over towards it. Slumping down onto the sofa, my eyes begin to feel heavy, heavier than they felt earlier when I was with Yvonne. It's not ideal have a rest in the staffroom but it's not fair for me to take up the on call room when others who are on shift need it. As soon as I put my head down onto the arm of the sofa, I feel my eyes close and I seem to drift off to sleep...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, how was that then? I hope to upload the next chapter within the next couple of weeks! Please give a little review! I'd welcome input into what you would like to happen next!
X Natasha X