Disclaimer: I do not own most of the characters or settings. However, the plot is mine. Well, I think it is, I have yet to read a story with a plot like this one. Oh well…

Author's note: This is a VERY interesting plot. Quite weird, actually. Well, it came to me in a dream, so what can you expect? This is most definitely my best fic yet, so if you read any of my work, read this one! Hmmmm… I like the plot though… well have fun reading it, and if you have any questions about the plot or anything, feel free to email me or put it in your review, because I realize it might be a little confusing! Anyway to the story!

James Potter sat, motionless, as if in a trance, staring into the merrily crackling fire. But James was far from merry. His eyes were red and blotchy as they watched the dancing flames. A single tear rolled down his cheek, and this time, he didn't bother to wipe it away. He heard footsteps padding softly down the stairs, but James neither knew nor cared who it was. He pulled his invisibility cloak over his head, and continued to watch the fire. The marauder in him turned around, curious as to who else but him would be in the common room this late. It was Lily Evans, the petite redhead who was head girl. He wondered why she, of all people would be down here at this hour. To James, it seemed she had the perfect life. What could possibly be keeping her from sleep?

Lily crept down the stairs, and surveyed the deserted common room, before stepping onto the floor. She sat down in her favorite chair, by the window so she could stare at the stars. She would have gone to the astronomy tower, but it was risky with filch being on alert in that part of the castle, because it was the site of the marauders last prank. As she gazed at the moon, her neck prickled. She had the funniest feeling that someone was watching her, but that was impossible, she had inspected the common room upon entering. She finally ignored it, and let her mind wander.

She hadn't been able to sleep because a certain someone had been haunting her dreams of late, and she was much to scared to fall asleep and risk finding herself amidst one of them again. The last time she'd lapsed into that nightmare, she'd awoken in hysterics, only to find that she was late for class, which if anything, caused her to become more upset. That certain someone's death hung over her like a storm cloud, always present, reminding her of things she'd rather forget. The guilt of it all drove her nearly insane with grief, but even now, after all these years, it was still there. Every so often something or someone would spark a memory, mayhap a good one, but no matter what the memory, no matter how dear, it always came back to the horrible guilt that rested upon her shoulders. Even when she was happy, she would always think, she'll never be happy again. She'll never laugh again. She'll never love again. And it's all my fault. And the thought of that would end her happiness. It had gotten to the point where she couldn't remember the last time she'd been truly happy since the tragedy. Her father was fond of reminding her that she wouldn't have wanted her to never be happy again. She wouldn't have wanted to be forgotten, but she certainly wouldn't have wanted Lily to dwell on her death for the rest of her life. Even if it hadn't been directly her fault, Lily was by now convinced that the blame should lay entirely on her shoulders. And there was no turning back once she'd come to that decision…

James watched her as she gazed at the moon. She was lost in thought, completely unaware of his presence. He thought for a moment, he should talk to her, that maybe she could give him some comfort, but the thought was gone in an instant, and he turned back to the fire. She wouldn't understand anyway. What's she had to deal with that would help her to understand? Even my best friends don't understand, how could a girl I barely know give me comfort? His mind, stubborn as it was, couldn't get the last words she'd ever spoken to him to stop repeating inside his head. Of course, being as ignorant as he was, he'd thought nothing of them then, but now they haunted his dreams, or rather his nightmares, resounding in his head, again and again.

Flashback

"James? Is that you?"

"Yes. It's me."

"I just want to tell you that I love you. And I want you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"If something were ever to happen to me, promise me you wouldn't dwell on it. Promise me you would move on. Promise me you would love again."

"Oh, you don't have to worry! I won't let anything happen to you."

"Oh, James, I wish it were that simple. But please, promise me."

"You have to go now. You don't want to miss your portkey."

"James! Promise me!"

End flashback

And that was the last thing she ever said to him. He never did promise her like she wanted. His mind kept going back. Why hadn't he realized something was going to happen after she'd uttered those words? How could he have been so naïve not to notice? He was tempted to steal a timeturner and go back to that moment, if only to promise her and tell her he loved her too. But no, the last thing he'd ever said to her was "You have to go now. You don't want to miss your portkey." Had she died thinking of him? Had the thought been a good one? If he had been there, would he have been able to save her? But no, that's why she didn't tell him. Because she knew he'd have come after her. She had died, essentially, for him. And if he'd followed her, he would have died too, and then her death would have been for nothing. And his mind dwelt on their last conversation. He could still hear her voice vividly ringing out in his head.

"If something were ever to happen to me, promise me you wouldn't dwell on it. Promise me you would move on. Promise me you would love again. James! Promise me!"

He shook himself mentally. This was exactly what she hadn't wanted. But he could not forget He would never forget. Fairly soon, he would just drown in his own thoughts, and he would never again come back to reality. He would only have his memories of her, and they would be his life. Part of him wanted this to happen. The other half, the one which was prevailing at the moment, told him that if anything, he should obey her last wishes. Not to forget her entirely, not to let her fade into nothingness until he could no longer recall her beautiful face, but to stop thinking of her constantly. To move on. To love again. But loving was one thing he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to do for a long while. No matter who he loved, no matter how perfect they were, half of him would always remember her, would always wish, would always hope for something he could never have. He would never truly love again. He would never love with his whole being. There would always be a part that belonged to her, a part that would be missing. A sharp intake of breath from the other side of the room startled him out of his reverie. James looked down, and realized with a jolt that his invisibility cloak had slipped, revealing his head.

Lily stopped gazing at the moon for a moment and turned to the fire. The flames were still dancing, and the smoke swirled up the chimney. And as she gazed upon the flames, James Potter's head appeared out of nowhere. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. She blinked to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, though why she would hallucinate James' head was beyond her. She opened her eyes, but no, he was still there.

"James? Wh-What are you doing down here?"

But James didn't answer, he pulled his cloak off completely and stared listlessly into the fire.

"James?" she tried again. "Is something wrong?"

"OF COURSE SOMETHING'S WRONG! I WOULDN'T BE DOWN HERE ALONE FOR THREE HOURS IF SOMETHING WASN'T WRONG!" he roared, and Lily shrank back, horrified. Without warning, his features softened, and suddenly he looked utterly exhausted and depressed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I- I'm in a bad mood."

Lily was far too shaken up to respond, so they sat in silence for a few moments. She finally found her voice.

"I don't suppose you'd like to talk about it?"

James looked murderous for a moment, but then he turned thoughtful. He hadn't told any of his friends what had happened over the summer. Why should he confide in Lily? But there was something about her. Maybe it was because she looked just as depressed and exhausted as he felt. Who knew. But for some reason, he felt the need to open up to her. To spill his heart to her. He had a strange feeling, that somehow, she'd understand.

"Y-yes. Actually I would." He choked out, embarrassed by his blotchy face.

"Really?" she questioned with a concerned expression.

"If you'll listen."

"Of course."

"W-Well, everything started at the beginning of last summer when I arrived at my Grandmere's estate in France…"

Author's note: so… this chapter is basically the intro to the story, but from this point on its going to alternate between James' summer and the actual conversation. So its kind of a twist, two romances in one. And there might be a little adventure later on. The next chapter is going to be about James getting to the estate and meeting the girl the story is about…

If you want to find out what's going to happen, please review!!! J its appreciated muchly!

-Sweet Strawberri =D