Rated: K+

Summary: The Rikkaidai boys decide to play chess. Kirihara is confused between chess and checkers, and Yukimura decides to help.

Pairings:….none?

Category: humour/ general

Disclaimer: I do not own PoT; I wish I did. If I did then I would…..wait. What would I do…..meh think of that later. Yeah I don't own PoT

Well, well, well. What do we have here? It seems that our very own Rikkaidai Tennis Club is….playing Chess instead of training? WHAT? Now, I know what you're thinking, that they're getting lazy and that they'd rather play Chess than train. BUT, these are the Rikkaidai boys and anything can happen…luckily for Jackal, he was running errands for the club or he would have died from insanity.

"Buchou, why are we playing this again?"

"Akaya, you're going to have to ask Renji why. He WAS the one who suggested we do this"

"Fine. Yanagi-senpai, why are we doing this?"

"Well Akaya, we're doing this because we're training you in the use of strategy."

"Ne, buchou why do we need strategy?"

"Bratling, WE don't need to learn strategy, YOU do."

"Bite me Niou-senpai"

"Gladly"

"Niou, Kirihara! Ten laps NOW!"

"Demo, fukubuchou" Kirihara whined

"NOW!!"

"Geinchirou, I think that teaching Akaya strategy, is more important"

"Hn.."

Glad that he had won that fight, he continued to pester his senpai-tachi about why he was playing "checkers"

"You know that we're playing checkers wrong?"

"…"

"Akaya, we're not playing chess and not checkers…" Yanagi finally said, breaking the awkward silence

"Aww, Aka-chan's STUPIDD"

"Now, now Bunta, lets not insult our kouhai."

"Buchou……I don't get this game. I mean don't you play checkers with circles?"

"…"

"A feat that never ceases to amaze me. The bratling can THINK"

"Masaharu! What did I just say?"

"Niou, please apologize to Akaya" at his doubles partners request, he apologized. Grudgingly of course.

"Well it's not like he's gonna get anywhere with this game. I mean he thinks that this is CHECKERS"

"I gotta admit the sugar-freak is right"

"I am NOT a sugar freak!!"

"Oh yeah, that explains the MASS amount of sugar that you intake everyday."

"SHUT UP!"

On the other side of the room, Kirihara was STILL trying to make sense of chess. Of course, he got nowhere. Being Kirihara and all, he gets nothing.

"Yanagi-senpai, I don't get it!!"

"Listen, brat, just watch for a while. Maybe that way you'll understand." Niou offered.

"FINE! I WILL"

Minuets later, Kirihara announced that he needed food. He needed to use the bathroom, he needed a drink and everything that you can think of because I'm too lazy to put these things in. Anyways.

"Ne, buchou, the horsie moves funny. Why does it jump over those little pieces with that round thing on top? I mean that's just stupid. Why not wait until they're out of the way?"

"Kirihara……they move that way because that's the rules." Sanada could seriously feel a migraine coming on. Must remember to buy a bottle of aspirin on the way home…

"That's stupid. Why create a rule like that, I mean its so stupid."

"Akaya, it doesn't always jump over things. It's ALLOWED to but it doesn't have to. Why don't I explain the moves to you?"

Yukimura/buchou/Seiichi has so much patience…how can he STILL like Kirihara/Akaya/the bratling? All the Rikkaidai regulars were impressed. Their buchou can withstand the annoyance called Kirihara Akaya.

"Alright, pay close attention. This is called a pawn. In the beginning it can move 2 spaces, but after that first move, you can only move it one square. This is the rook there are two of them. One on either side. They can move horizontally and vertically. That means that they move in straight lines. Do you get it so far?"

"Uhhh, so this "pawn" moves like this, and then like this??"

"Oh very good Akaya!!"

"Moving on, this is the knight. It moves in a "L" shape direction. That means that you can go two down, then one over left or right or you can move one down, and two over in either direction. Get it?"

"Like this?"

"Very good!"

"Now this is called the bishop. It moves in diagonal lines across the board, left or right."

"Sooo, like this??"

"Good"

As Kirihara's lesson continued the other regulars watched in awe at the fact that Yukimura was able to soothe the savage beast. Now everyone knows that Yukimura had uber buchou skills, but being able to keep Kirihara, who has the shortest attention span (even less than Anti) occupied, was a great feat indeed.

"Geinchirou, do you want to play a game to show Akaya how it's done?"

"Huh? What? Oh sure." Snickers could be heard at the sight of their STOIC fukubuchou spacing out. As the two were about to start, Niou decided to interrupt.

"WAIT!"

"Niou, I don't thinks it polite to interrupt people" his doubles partner said.

"Whatever. Personally, I think that the brat should play and not fukubuchou."

"…why?"

"Just to see if he actually gets it"

"Now, bratling, go impress your senpai-tachi"

"Niou, please refrain from making Kirhara-kun angry"

"Why? It's fun. Jeez. You're too strict Yagyuu"

"No, I am not the strict one, I do believe that was Sanada-kun. I am merly being polite"

"…"

"Ne, Yagyuu,"

"Yes Marui-kun?"

"SHUT UP!"

"…"

-insert dramatic music- -GASP- Kirhara Akaya and Yukimura Seiichi are about to play a chess match. Who will win? DUHHH. Yukimura of course. Only cause Kirihara STILL thinks that this is checkers.

"You can be white, so that means that you get to go first. Now just remember what I taught you, and you'll be fine."

"So do I do this?" –moves rook forwards never minding that he just jumped his own pieces-

"Aka-channn. You SUCKK!"

"Go away Marui!"

"Senpai!"

"Whatever…"

"Akaya, you cant move your rook there."

"Why? The horsie can."

"…"

"Oh god."

"Okay now that was taking it over the limit of stupidity."

"Niou! Though I do have to admit, Kirihara-kun you are a very bad chess player."

"What do you mean?? I did everything that buchou told me to!"

"Akaya, perhaps you should just let me and Geinchirou play. You just need to…practise…a bit"

"You mean a lot!"

"Niou! Be nice!"

Thus another day in the life of the dysfunctional Rikkaidai regulars and this time, not only was Sanada having a headache, so was Yukimura. I guess we should leave those boys be for the time being. To no ones surprise, the chess idea was banished and they decided that from then on, they would never EVER touch a chess board again.

Glossary:

Buchou: Captain

Senpai: Upperclassmen

Fukubuchou: Vice captain

Aka-chan: Kirihara's pet name which literally means baby

Kouhai: Lower classmen

Senpai-tachi: Senpai in the plural

A/N:

DUDE, I JUST POSTED MY VERY FIRST FIC THAT I WROTE ALL BY MYSELFF. Don't mind me. Anyways...yeah i think its okay...Anti helped me write this...kinda...more like gave me ideas...since I suck like that. I bet i got half the chess stuff wrong or didn't give enough info. Oh well. Rate please? Flamers will be riddiclued/ignored.